Ghost of BiB Posted April 23, 2006 Share Posted April 23, 2006 (Courtesy of an email I got from EryntheRed) Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems,document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right,and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one for last.................. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori Posted April 23, 2006 Share Posted April 23, 2006 That's IT, I'm never flying again. (Not so) seriously, there's some hysterical stuff there.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UConn James Posted April 23, 2006 Share Posted April 23, 2006 There's a smart-ass in every crowd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acantha Posted April 23, 2006 Share Posted April 23, 2006 Hmm. Exactly how many crowds does TSW have? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 I've seen that email before but still love it. The Aussies have a great sense of humor. Need to go back for a visit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 There's a few more at this page. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 Hmm. Exactly how many crowds does TSW have? 668395[/snapback] If you're suggesting we've exceeded our smart-ass quota, I'd have to agree... and include myself in the count... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 If you're suggesting we've exceeded our smart-ass quota, I'd have to agree... 668548[/snapback] Well I'm not leaving and you can't make me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 Well I'm not leaving and you can't make me. 668553[/snapback] Wouldn't want to try. I'm still hoping to learn enough about fine cuisine from you to progress beyond the TV-dinner and frozen-pizza stage... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 Wouldn't want to try. I'm still hoping to learn enough about fine cuisine from you to progress beyond the TV-dinner and frozen-pizza stage... 668558[/snapback] But I can be a smart ass in the kitchen too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acantha Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 If you're suggesting we've exceeded our smart-ass quota, I'd have to agree... and include myself in the count... 668548[/snapback] Problem was, by asking that question, I was adding to the count. It was quite the conundrum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marv's Neighbor Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 http://www.micom.net/oops/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 There's a smart-ass in every crowd. 668366[/snapback] Me thinks it is the work of one guy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Wouldn't want to try. I'm still hoping to learn enough about fine cuisine from you to progress beyond the TV-dinner and frozen-pizza stage... 668558[/snapback] Have you tried Hot Pockets yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of BiB Posted April 25, 2006 Author Share Posted April 25, 2006 Have you tried Hot Pockets yet? 669389[/snapback] Enjoyed some of those. (Pics and videos) You fly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts