Mickey Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 I hereby declare a Fatwah against the use of political cliches meant to trigger the juices of you Pavlovian slobber dogs. Use of the following catch phrases are hereby forbidden: gutted the military (refers to any attempt to limit the cost of any military program) activist judges (ie, any judge who issues a ruling with which you disagree) in the pocket of special interests (ie, every ones interests but your own) legislating from the bench (used to describe any ruling you don't like) tax breaks for the rich (tax breaks for anyone but you) risky tax scheme (any scheme that doesn'e benefit you) for our children (used to support any and every proposal under the sun) protect the family (used to support any and every proposal under the sun) alternative lifestyle (any lifestyle that isn't like yours) moral relativism (the moral code everyone lives by and everyone condemns) if it feels good do it (blanket condemnation of what everyone else does for fun) keep America safe (may be used to justify any proposal no matter how unrelated) voo doo economics (any one else's economic plan) failed policies of the past (those who proposed them are dead so they can't object) flip flopper (others filp flop, I "wisely reconsider") compassionate conservative (focus groups loved it) protect marriage (by preventing it from occurring) creating opportunity (bippitty boppitty boo) diversity (because merit alone just isn't interesting enough) political correctness (the damnable theory that has lost us ni##er jokes forever) left/right-wing media bias (any report that doesn't agree with you) anything Richio says I am accepting applications for alternatives but I am the sole judge and if you don't like it, get your own Fatwah, this one has been copywronged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GG Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 Greeeaaaat. Now the candidates' speeches will be reduced to silence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey Posted September 17, 2004 Author Share Posted September 17, 2004 Greeeaaaat. Now the candidates' speeches will be reduced to silence. 34906[/snapback] ...and that would be bad because......? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GG Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 ...and that would be bad because......? 34909[/snapback] ... there are no good sitcoms left... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_BiB_ Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 That takes out most of the talking heads and paid for advertisements too. I could get behind this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 May I submit: let the record show (anything bad about my opponent) when I was growing up (which you never did) there was a time (no one else has ever read history but me) ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RkFast Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 Im happy to say Im guilty of only a few of those, but you can count me in...as long as I can still call Kerry "Flopenstein". It just rolls off the tounge so well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 Greeeaaaat. Now the candidates' speeches will be reduced to silence. 34906[/snapback] That'll be a big boost for Kerry in the polls, though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 I hereby declare a Fatwah against the use of political cliches meant to trigger the juices of you Pavlovian slobber dogs. Use of the following catch phrases are hereby forbidden: gutted the military (refers to any attempt to limit the cost of any military program) activist judges (ie, any judge who issues a ruling with which you disagree) in the pocket of special interests (ie, every ones interests but your own) legislating from the bench (used to describe any ruling you don't like) tax breaks for the rich (tax breaks for anyone but you) risky tax scheme (any scheme that doesn'e benefit you) for our children (used to support any and every proposal under the sun) protect the family (used to support any and every proposal under the sun) alternative lifestyle (any lifestyle that isn't like yours) moral relativism (the moral code everyone lives by and everyone condemns) if it feels good do it (blanket condemnation of what everyone else does for fun) keep America safe (may be used to justify any proposal no matter how unrelated) voo doo economics (any one else's economic plan) failed policies of the past (those who proposed them are dead so they can't object) flip flopper (others filp flop, I "wisely reconsider") compassionate conservative (focus groups loved it) protect marriage (by preventing it from occurring) creating opportunity (bippitty boppitty boo) diversity (because merit alone just isn't interesting enough) political correctness (the damnable theory that has lost us ni##er jokes forever) left/right-wing media bias (any report that doesn't agree with you) anything Richio says I am accepting applications for alternatives but I am the sole judge and if you don't like it, get your own Fatwah, this one has been copywronged. 34898[/snapback] I never even heard "risky tax scheme". Can we add "Flight suit" and "Halliburton", too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey Posted September 17, 2004 Author Share Posted September 17, 2004 Im happy to say Im guilty of only a few of those, but you can count me in...as long as I can still call Kerry "Flopenstein". It just rolls off the tounge so well. 34928[/snapback] Sorry, I have consulted with Imam Cheney and Saheykk Rumsfeld and it appears that "Flopenstein" has been done to death, all praises be to Lee Atwater. However, we are willing to give you a limited (10 days) exclusive grant on "serial switcher". Peace be with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey Posted September 17, 2004 Author Share Posted September 17, 2004 ... there are no good sitcoms left... 34910[/snapback] I know, ever since they canceled "Real World: The Republican National Convention" there is nothing left but Seinfeld re-runs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey Posted September 17, 2004 Author Share Posted September 17, 2004 May I submit: let the record show (anything bad about my opponent) when I was growing up (which you never did) there was a time (no one else has ever read history but me) ? 34926[/snapback] Done. Including all derivations: he can't run from his record, I am proud of my record, our heritage, honor our history etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GG Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 .... I am proud of ... our heritage, honor our history etc... 34985[/snapback] Maybe we can make an exception, because how mny time do you have a runoff of A down to earth Texan cowboy with Connecticut Yankee roots who's vacationed in Maine and flew planes in Alabama after suppering at Yale & Harvard squaring off against an Austrian Irish Jew with Brahmin roots marrying a billionnaire telling us there are two Americas? It doesn't get better than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey Posted September 17, 2004 Author Share Posted September 17, 2004 "It's for our country, it's for our children, our grandchildren that we do the hard work of confronting terror." The whole sentence qualifies and it doesn't matter who said it so I won't bother giving the source. It could have come from anyone looking to say something without saying anything. You can't disagree because then you would be for terror and against our country, our children and our grandchildren. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PastaJoe Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 How about: Frivolous lawsuits (as long as it's not their family that was injured) "I" will protect America (when are they going to pick up a gun and fight?) Tax and spend (how else do you pay for it?) Faith-based initiatives (as long as it's the faiths they believe in) Hollywood elitists (as opposed to elitists in any other city) Partisan politics (what other kind is there?) Smear campaign (like only one side does it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PastaJoe Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 flew planes in Alabama Actually it was Texas. That little thing about not showing up and getting certified in Alabama prevented that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey Posted September 17, 2004 Author Share Posted September 17, 2004 How about: Frivolous lawsuits (as long as it's not their family that was injured) "I" will protect America (when are they going to pick up a gun and fight?) Tax and spend (how else do you pay for it?) Faith-based initiatives (as long as it's the faiths they believe in) Hollywood elitists (as opposed to elitists in any other city) Partisan politics (what other kind is there?) Smear campaign (like only one side does it) 35017[/snapback] God wills it, it is done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly the Dog Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 I know it doesn't truly fit but can we please add... "No disrespect, but" [fill in the disrespect]... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MichFan Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 gutted the military (refers to any attempt to limit the cost of any military program)activist judges (ie, any judge who issues a ruling with which you disagree) in the pocket of special interests (ie, every ones interests but your own) legislating from the bench (used to describe any ruling you don't like) ... risky tax scheme (any scheme that doesn'e benefit you) for our children (used to support any and every proposal under the sun) ... alternative lifestyle (any lifestyle that isn't like yours) ... if it feels good do it (blanket condemnation of what everyone else does for fun) ... failed policies of the past (those who proposed them are dead so they can't object) flip flopper (others filp flop, I "wisely reconsider") ... diversity (because merit alone just isn't interesting enough) political correctness (the damnable theory that has lost us ni##er jokes forever) left-wing media bias (any report that doesn't agree with you) May as well add Democrat and John Kerry to that list if you're going to outlaw the above terms... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blzrul Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 Don't forget "let me make one thing perfectly clear" Lockbox Fuzzy math Compassionate conservatism Family values Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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