stevestojan Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 Just read it. It goes past the Marijuana stuff at the beginning, so don't knock it just for that... Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal? It’s a natural plant that grows in the dirt. Do you know what’s not natural? 80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That’s not natural. But we got pills for that. We’re dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect, but we’re putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt? You know we have more prescription drugs now. Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad. I can’t watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases. Like: “Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?” Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it. Half the time I don’t even know what the commercial is… people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean. I’m like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that? That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy. The schools now… It is all about self-esteem in the schools now. Build the kids’ self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs? What’s going to happen to our porno industry? These women don’t just grown on trees. It takes lots of drunk daddys missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks. And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection? CHORUS: baby sing, sing, sing, sing, sing your song, sing for me,com'mon now sing, baby sing sing sing, sing your song, sing to me, sing a song Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time. You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east. Terrorists masterminds. Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don’t you think? They’re not masterminds. “OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?” “Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can’t I just…” “Who’s the !@#$ing mastermind here? Me or you?” Americans, let’s face it: We’ve been a spoiled country for a long time. Do you know what the number one health risk in America is? Obesity. They say we’re in the middle of an obesity epidemic. An epidemic like it is polio. Like we’ll be telling our grand kids about it one day. The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004. “How’d you get through it grandpa?” “Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.” Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle. I’ll sit at a drive thru. I’ll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter. Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large. You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother f---er. There’s room in the back. Take it! Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It’s only three more cents. CHORUS: baby sing, sing, sing, sing, sing your song, sing for me,com'mon now sing, baby sing sing sing, sing your song, sing to me, sing a song Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there’d be a Microsoft? Of course not. You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think, “You’ll see. I’m going to take of the world of computers! I’ll show them.” We’re in one of the richest countries in the world, but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago. There are homeless people everywhere. This homeless guy asked me for money the other day. I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol. And then I thought, that’s what I’m going to use it on. Why am I judging this poor bastard. People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they’re just going to waste it. Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit? Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He’s homeless. I walked behind this guy the other day. A homeless guy asked him for money. He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don’t you go get a job you bum. People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy. This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants. Outside his pants. I’m guessing his resume isn’t all up to date. I’m predicting some problems during the interview process. I’m pretty sure even McDonalds has a “underwear goes inside the pants” policy. Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I’m sure it is on the books. CHORUS: baby sing, sing, sing, sing, sing your song, sing for me,com'mon now sing, baby sing sing sing, sing your song, sing to me, sing a song The name of the song is "Underwear Goes Inside The Pants" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rico Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 Ain't got no home A-no place to roam Ain't got no home A-no place to roam I'm a lonely boy I ain't got a home I got a voice I love to sing I sing like a girl And I sing like a frog I'm a lonely boy I ain't got a home I ain't got a man I ain't got a son I ain't got a daughter I ain't got no one I'm a lonely girl I ain't got a home I ain't got a mother I ain't got a father I ain't got a sister Not even a brother I'm a lonely frog I ain't got a home Oh, what you say to me Please say to me Oh, what you say to me Please say to me I'm a lonely frog I ain't got a home Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark VI Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 Just read it. It goes past the Marijuana stuff at the beginning, so don't knock it just for that... Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal? It’s a natural plant that grows in the dirt. Do you know what’s not natural? 80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That’s not natural. But we got pills for that. We’re dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect, but we’re putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt? You know we have more prescription drugs now. Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad. I can’t watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases. Like: “Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?” Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it. Half the time I don’t even know what the commercial is… people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean. I’m like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that? That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy. The schools now… It is all about self-esteem in the schools now. Build the kids’ self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs? What’s going to happen to our porno industry? These women don’t just grown on trees. It takes lots of drunk daddys missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks. And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection? CHORUS: baby sing, sing, sing, sing, sing your song, sing for me,com'mon now sing, baby sing sing sing, sing your song, sing to me, sing a song Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time. You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east. Terrorists masterminds. Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don’t you think? They’re not masterminds. “OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?” “Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can’t I just…” “Who’s the !@#$ing mastermind here? Me or you?” Americans, let’s face it: We’ve been a spoiled country for a long time. Do you know what the number one health risk in America is? Obesity. They say we’re in the middle of an obesity epidemic. An epidemic like it is polio. Like we’ll be telling our grand kids about it one day. The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004. “How’d you get through it grandpa?” “Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.” Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle. I’ll sit at a drive thru. I’ll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter. Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large. You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother f---er. There’s room in the back. Take it! Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It’s only three more cents. CHORUS: baby sing, sing, sing, sing, sing your song, sing for me,com'mon now sing, baby sing sing sing, sing your song, sing to me, sing a song Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there’d be a Microsoft? Of course not. You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think, “You’ll see. I’m going to take of the world of computers! I’ll show them.” We’re in one of the richest countries in the world, but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago. There are homeless people everywhere. This homeless guy asked me for money the other day. I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol. And then I thought, that’s what I’m going to use it on. Why am I judging this poor bastard. People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they’re just going to waste it. Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit? Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He’s homeless. I walked behind this guy the other day. A homeless guy asked him for money. He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don’t you go get a job you bum. People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy. This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants. Outside his pants. I’m guessing his resume isn’t all up to date. I’m predicting some problems during the interview process. I’m pretty sure even McDonalds has a “underwear goes inside the pants” policy. Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I’m sure it is on the books. CHORUS: baby sing, sing, sing, sing, sing your song, sing for me,com'mon now sing, baby sing sing sing, sing your song, sing to me, sing a song The name of the song is "Underwear Goes Inside The Pants" 221723[/snapback] You should look into starting a Blog. That's where random musings belong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevestojan Posted January 28, 2005 Author Share Posted January 28, 2005 You should look into starting a Blog. That's where random musings belong. 221733[/snapback] Nah, I'll just stick around here and talk about Star Wars Episode 50 or how long of a lunch break everyone gets.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockpile Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 You should look into starting a Blog. That's where random musings belong. 221733[/snapback] Now there's another random musing! How you be, Mark? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDBillzFan Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 You should look into starting a Blog. 221733[/snapback] Damn, I thought this WAS his blog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevestojan Posted January 28, 2005 Author Share Posted January 28, 2005 Damn, I thought this WAS his blog. 221783[/snapback] awww.. you're here again... the stalking is getting up to record levels... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDBillzFan Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 awww.. you're here again... the stalking is getting up to record levels... 221798[/snapback] You call it stalking. I call it "Your thoughts are in every single thread regardless of the topic and avoiding you is impossible." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevestojan Posted January 28, 2005 Author Share Posted January 28, 2005 You call it stalking. I call it "Your thoughts are in every single thread regardless of the topic and avoiding you is impossible." 221803[/snapback] awwww... how sweet. Avoiding me is impossible? I started the thread jackass... But, really, it's sweet... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
col_forbin Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 You call it stalking. I call it "Your thoughts are in every single thread regardless of the topic and avoiding you is impossible." 221803[/snapback] You two should probably get a room Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 awww.. you're here again... the stalking is getting up to record levels... 221798[/snapback] Sell your new truck and hand out tofu to bums with the proceeds and tell them how much you value self-esteem. You can make a difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevestojan Posted January 28, 2005 Author Share Posted January 28, 2005 Tofu? Why, are all bums gay or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 Tofu? Why, are all bums gay or something? 221810[/snapback] You don't want to give out saturated fat, now...didn't that awesome ditty cite obesity? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rico Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 Sixteen years, Sixteen banners united over the field Where the good shepherd grieves. Desperate men, desperate women divided, Spreading their wings 'neath the falling leaves. Fortune calls. I stepped forth from the shadows, to the marketplace, Merchants and thieves, hungry for power, my last deal gone down. She's smelling sweet like the meadows where she was born, On midsummer's eve, near the tower. The cold-blooded moon. The captain waits above the celebration Sending his thoughts to a beloved maid Whose ebony face is beyond communication. The captain is down but still believing that his love will be repaid. They shaved her head. She was torn between Jupiter and Apollo. A messenger arrived with a black nightingale. I seen her on the stairs and I couldn't help but follow, Follow her down past the fountain where they lifted her veil. I stumbled to my feet. I rode past destruction in the ditches With the stitches still mending 'neath a heart-shaped tattoo. Renegade priests and treacherous young witches Were handing out the flowers that I'd given to you. The palace of mirrors Where dog soldiers are reflected, The endless road and the wailing of chimes, The empty rooms where her memory is protected, Where the angels' voices whisper to the souls of previous times. She wakes him up Forty-eight hours later, the sun is breaking Near broken chains, mountain laurel and rolling rocks. She's begging to know what measures he now will be taking. He's pulling her down and she's clutching on to his long golden locks. Gentlemen, he said, I don't need your organization, I've shined your shoes, I've moved your mountains and marked your cards But Eden is burning, either brace yourself for elimination Or else your hearts must have the courage for the changing of the guards. Peace will come With tranquility and splendor on the wheels of fire But will bring us no reward when her false idols fall And cruel death surrenders with its pale ghost retreating Between the King and the Queen of Swords. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
30dive Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 Something like 10x the money spent on ED and booby implant research as opposed to Alzhiemers......20 - 30 years from now we'll have a bunch of old people running around with beautiful boobs and non stop hard ons; With NO idea what to do with them! I think I read this here a couple years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous Guy Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 This one seems poignant... Well, the rifleman's stalking the sick and the lame, Preacherman seeks the same, who'll get there first is uncertain. Nightsticks and water cannons, tear gas, padlocks, Molotov cocktails and rocks behind every curtain, False-hearted judges dying in the webs that they spin, Only a matter of time 'til night comes steppin' in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDS Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 awwww... how sweet. Avoiding me is impossible? I started the thread jackass... But, really, it's sweet... 221804[/snapback] perhaps you both are correct? Clearly you have your own fan club and that shouldn't be. But, you also need to ask yourself why you have this club. It may not be that your posts are any lamer than mine or anyone else's, but perhaps a fresh look at the frequency vs. relevancy of your posts may be helpful. You have to think that everyone reading a thread has an opinion on what is being said - in addition to having original opinions on all sorts of topics. The trick is to pick and choose which ones to post and which ones to pass on, while keeping in mind that no one wants to see any individual - you, me, ICE, SpikedLemonade, or whomever - dominate the conversation. My 2 cents.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 Something like 10x the money spent on ED and booby implant research as opposed to Alzhiemers......20 - 30 years from now we'll have a bunch of old people running around with beautiful boobs and non stop hard ons; With NO idea what to do with them! I think I read this here a couple years ago. 221836[/snapback] I believe that money spent on sports leaves money spent on medical research in the dust... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erynthered Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 perhaps you both are correct? Clearly you have your own fan club and that shouldn't be. But, you also need to ask yourself why you have this club. It may not be that your posts are any lamer than mine or anyone else's, but perhaps a fresh look at the frequency vs. relevancy of your posts may be helpful. You have to think that everyone reading a thread has an opinion on what is being said - in addition to having original opinions on all sorts of topics. The trick is to pick and choose which ones to post and which ones to pass on, while keeping in mind that no one wants to see any individual - you, me, ICE, SpikedLemonade, or whomever - dominate the conversation. My 2 cents.... 221920[/snapback] I think that was worth more than 2 cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 I think that was worth more than 2 cents. 221935[/snapback] Couldn't agree more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts