https://babylonbee.com/news/founding-fathers-graves-bolted-down-to-prevent-further-spinning?fbclid=IwAR3h6FR1foKDN6sCDuA0nAIlOm6TPP6YlG4LGWZu8kJxa-sjBeiKSm-LDYc
Founding Fathers Strapped Down In Graves To Prevent Further Spinning
July 29th, 2020
U.S.—In an attempt to tackle the unprecedented and growing phenomenon of historical figures spinning rapidly in their graves, federal officials have begun strapping down the Founding Fathers at several historical sites.
“It started slowly, back around 2016,” explained National Park Director Larry Rozinsky. “We noticed George Washington’s corpse had done a full 360. It was a bit odd but nothing unlike what we’d seen a few times back in the sixties.”