Cripes

One web site posting that video said it was fatal. Didn't give any other details. Viewing this video, and visiting a major city ER for one night, ought to be mandatory for every 16 year old in the country.

Hey, I missed it. Who did Gene replace - Paula? And tell me the Aged Demon had to sit through an elaborate "I Was Made For Loving You" cover. Oh, please, please, please....

You can get great battery life with some Dell models if you get the 12-cell lithium ion, but it'll be heavier (over 8 pounds). The base model Dell 5160 with a 12-cell (and a Pentium M, not Celeron) is $950 right now. For a lighter model, keep looking on Dell Outlet for the 600m (about 5 pounds). I saw one tonight with a Pentium M 1.6, 512 mb, DVD/CDRW, wireless for $900. You're not going to beat that. If I'm not mistaken, I think Dell's the only one you'll get free lifetime tech support (I last bought a Dell two years ago).

Just to make this simple: 5Links is an obvious ripoff. First, believing that 5Links' local/long distance/wireless/Internet/Web Hosting, etc. products can beat Baby Bell pricepoints is ludicrous. Unless 5Links has announced wholesale deals with wrieless and landline carriers that allow them to undersell those same carriers' retail prices. And we know what their secret is: the product does not make money for the representatives. It's lining up the reps below you where you'll make money. And here's where mathematics defy multi-level marketing reasoning. The only way multi-level marketing can work is in a pyramid -- there have to always be people on the bottom producing for people above them. And the people on the bottom have to have people below them so they can earn money. Let's pretend each rep must bring in five others in order to turn a profit. At any point where one level quits making money, it's dead. Here's the absolute best scenario for a success multi-level marketing program: 1 must attract 5. Those 5 must attract 5 each, bringing in a total of 25 new members. Those 25 need to bring in more people -- 625 to be exact. Then those 625 must attract 3,125 more. Then 3,125 must attract 15,625. 15,625 must attract 78,125. 78,125 must attract 390,625. 390,625 must attract 1,953,125. 1,953,125 must attract 9,765,625. 9,765,625 must attract 48,828,125. 48,828,125 must attract 244,140,625. 244,140,625 must attract 1,220,703,125 1,220,703,125 must bring in 6,103,515,625 Then 6,103,515 625 salesman must begin immediate space colonization efforts to find intelligent life in the universe to hawk internet or cell phone service to, since we're out of human beings on planet Earth for Team 5Links. Unfortunately for them, these creatures probably already have DSL -- or telepathy. Shame on Jim Kelly.

I'd definitely second "Search and Destroy" by Iggy and the Stooges. It's loud, loose, with the fattest, dirty sound you'll ever hear on a recording. I also love "Shake Appeal." Just ferocious.

I may be moving to Chicago (from Texas) this spring for a new job that'll be downtown -- somewhere on Wacker, north of 290. I've only been to Chicago once, for a one-day meeting in Arlington Heights, so I don't know much about the city other than what I saw between O'Hare and the corporate site I visited. What's the good and bad about the suburbs there -- transportation, commute times, highway construction, cost-of-living, all that jazz. Joliet seems kind of far, but it seems to be the only place with newer homes between $150-$170k, and I'd be only a one-hour train ride from downtown. Is driving even a remote possibility (I know, I know -- it's probably HA!). What about Waukegan? Aurora? The Northwest cities? Any input appreciated. Thanks!

6th Day? There was a better quote in it: "Stop with all this Church talk!"

Just a few more nominees: If we count dead guys, the loss of Terry Kath cost Chicago any chance of long-term credibility -- he was such a great guitar player he NEVER woulda stood for their synthy 80s pop sound. Firing Ozzy was a definite dead-ender for Black Sabbath, although they had no choice. Topping all these, however, is the horrible news I've recently heard that Brian May and the rest of Queen may go on tour with a new lead vocalist...Paul Rogers of Bad Company. Bismillah! Let me go!

I hold my disdain for the moronic music consumers who pushed her album to No.1 last summer.

I know American Pie is about 78 minutes long, but I swear I've never heard a cowbell in it. But I'm not about to go back and try to find it.

Tell me I'm wrong, or come up with some of your own. 1. Basketball: Five-Second Rule: Maybe in 1910, they had a game where a tall player stood in the corner, holding the ball for five minutes and the bored crowd fell asleep face-first in their absinthe. But we’ve had the shot-clock for awhile, and basketball refs already have too much to soak in. So why burden them with counting how long a player stands above the arc with the ball? It’s not a rule that prevents slowdowns -- the penalty only applies when the defender engages the ballhandler – and rewards even the most timid defensive effort. Cornerbacks don’t get interceptions by guarding Randy Moss’ zip code. 2. Football: Intentional Grounding Within the Pocket: Why is it OK to give up on a play outside the hash marks, but a deadly sin if you’re a Drew Bledsoe statue paying rent between the tackles? Why can’t you stop a play to save a loss of yards, but you can spike it to stop the clock to save time? Either way, the quarterback was giving up on the play and the defense wins. Too often, this call is a game-breaking judgment call against the offense. The fewer rules in place allowing refs to impact the game, the better. 3. Baseball: Infield Fly Rule: This is meant to be “fair” to the baserunner. Fair? What’s that got to do with anything? It would also be fair to get five strikes against Randy Johnson. If the shortstop wants to let a ball drop to potentially attempt two outs, he should get the chance. Nine times out of 10, it would be a pointless exercise and probably backfire. And since this is a strategy that would be universally ignored anyway, this calls into question even more why we need this rule. 4. Baseball: Make-up rain games that start from the first inning: Under what possible reason does it make sense for fourth-inning rainouts be replayed from the beginning at a later date? If it’s to protect the statistical continuity of the original starting pitcher, most starts don’t go five innings in today’s highly specialized game anyway. 5. Football: Half-Time “Endings”: Imagine if in the bottom of the fifth, the home team in baseball suddenly had just one pitch left, despite having the bases loaded and none out. Why, then, over the course of a 60-minute football game, does the team with the ball at the end of the second quarter have to play like the game is about over? Except for tradition, there’s no reason why the end of the second brings a wholesale stop to a team’s drive. Automatically giving a team a ball based to start the third based on the fact it’s their turn, not because they earned it, doesn’t make any sense. 6. College Basketball: The No-Tips Allowed Rule: College basketball went with this “No Spud Webbs Left Behind Act” in the ‘70s or ‘80s, when it determined that tie balls would now be handed out evenly through alternating possessions. So a hustling team with great defenders is now penalized 50 percent of the time for doing its job, and a team that messes up can start over. 7. College Football: The 2-Point Play for the Defense: Under no circumstances should a team that has not done its job – like keeping the other side from scoring a touchdown – get an opportunity to capitalize on something like running back a botched extra point. 8. Pro Football: The 2-Minute Warning and Any Rule That Changes in the Final Minutes Before a Half or Game: Leave it to the NFL that gives dirtbag, lazy teams some additional opportunities that the winning team didn’t need the first 58 minutes of the game. Same for the NBA by not allowing intentional fouls away from the ball in the final minutes. C’mon, does baseball bring the fences in after the 7th inning? Does the losing hockey team get a bigger net to shoot at in the third period? Think about that the next time you see refs and chain gangs who lollygag for 15 seconds after a play in the first half, but run like Jesse Owens in the final 30 seconds when a team’s out of timeouts. That’s called aiding and abetting. 9. Basketball: The 10th of a Second Clock: If you’ve ever tried to start and stop a stopwatch as fast as you could, you rarely could beat one-tenth of a second. So what is the point of shot or game clock that can count down to that unit of time, when nothing possibly can be accomplished except an eyeblink? It’s also a bogus measure of game time. A human being cannot catch a 10-inch ball, adjust his eyesight, re-grip the ball and accurately throw in a 20-foot shot in four-tenths of a second. Maybe in the NBA, and maybe by a Laker, but certainly not in any dimension ruled by physical law. 10. Baseball/Basketball/Football: Verbal Penalties (Technical, Bench Warnings, Unsportsmanlike Conduct): Never again do I want to see a sporting contest decided because somebody got their feelings hurt. Today’s umps and refs treat any act of defiance as impugning their manhood. If a player gets out of line and utters a few profanities, then fine him AFTER the game and offer to pay for refs’ psychiatry bills. Let the game on the field or the court play itself out.

I don't think OU sucks, but Stoops' teams seem to be developing a keen knack for late-season blunderball. Each year since 2000 they've started out at least 8-0 only to peter out in the end. They'll probably be paying for this loss for years to come in the polls, much like Auburn was shunned this year by it's miserable 2003 showing.

I'm not happy, either, but don't blame Mularkey on the FG attempt. Absolutely the right move -- just the wrong kicker. I think I am primarily embarrassed by the Bills' attitude. They went into this game on a wave of gushing press clippings, feeling they already deserved the playoffs and status as an elite team. It ended by watching waiver-wire wonder Brian St. Pierre taking a mercy knee at the gun. This game epitomized what was the same trap the Bills fell into after the 2-0 start last year. Takeo posed like Mr. Universe meets Mussolini on ESPN promos, and the players waxed on in interviews about their strengths and post-season possibilities. We all know how well that held up. I think this attitude -- that the Bills belong in a tier of top-class, talented organizations -- has turned into a serious character flaw. How laughable is Troy Vincent when he says, "I don't know if anybody wants to play us, we've been on a run" -- and he's only played in seven games this year? Or Jonas Jennings bragging about the offensive line's depth, during an interview before this week's game? Good God, the Bills talking about their post-season worthiness or their stoutness after only beating the likes of Cleveland and San Francisco was like Shelley Long preparing an Oscar speech for "Troop Beverly Hills." Next year's theme, instead of "Billieve," should be "Shut up and Play." Humble pie, served up each and every week and each and every play until if or when a playoff berth is secured. No bragging; no reading weekly power polls on Sportsline; no posing; no salutes; no Lambeau leaps; no praising Jesus or Grandpa in heaven. If they somehow wind up 12-0 heading into December next year, and a reporter asks them to compare themselves with the '73 Dolphins, they should just remember one lesson: when crunch time arrived, this team was beaten by Brian St. Pierre. Brian St. Pierre.