Wow, for just a second, I thought you and me would be on the same side of an issue.
How exactly should a gay person make it so "no one needs to know" and "keep it provate." You act like most gay people are prancing in leather in the gay pride parades when in fact, most gay people are going to work 5 days a week, watching American Idol, taking their kids to soccer, worrying about the mortgage...etc. They are living their lives...but with someone of their same sex. Are they supposed to go to dinner separately, because as you say, "no one needs to know?"