Didn't read all the posts, BUT, you should get back everything you shell out per person for the wedding, plus some,. Lets say avg person costs 50$/head to feed and booze up, avg party will give you a minimum of 75$/person minimum anyways. DOn't worrry about, it, save up what you can and be modest about it. Things you want to spend your money on are a veidographer, and a good hall with good food. A good DJ makes the night as well. You ill be fine monetarily after the wedding.