ComradeKayAdams

Not exactly, Nextmanup. The tradition of throwing Billdos at Patriots game pays homage to Buffalo’s rich history of randiness and patriotism. For example, did you know that… 1. Marital aids were the first items that French trader, Pierre Beau Fleuve, exchanged with members of the Iroquois Confederacy? Pierre was in dire need of winter coats for his many British mistresses along the frigid Great Lakes shores. The Haudenosaunee, or “People of the Longhouse,” were in dire need of deep sexual exploration and happened to be masters of beaver fur. It was a perfect mutual trade, one not bested in Western New York until March of 2020 when our beloved Buffalo Bills acquired Stefon Diggs from the Minnesota Vikings. 2. The projectile that took President William (a.k.a. “Bill”) McKinley’s life here on September 14, 1901, was in fact a hilariously floppy rubber cylindrical object and NOT the metal bullet that most fanciers of American history assume? 3. The Buffalo metropolitan area was once the nexus of America’s great “Porn Belt” and had rapidly become the leading producer of dildos, butt plugs, anal beads, handcuffs, collars/leashes, paddles, all types of leather restraints, nipple clamps, and pretty much anything totally HAWT??!! This particular industry happened to be what fueled America’s post-World War 2 domestic manufacturing renaissance. Unfortunately, the mid-century opening of the St. Lawrence Seaway significantly contributed to this industry’s eventual demise in Western New York. You could fit many more seamen down their passageway up there than you could in the Erie Canal, basically. And if you’re looking for the specific connection between pro football and Billdos, look no further than December 5, 1920. That was the day that Buffalo’s original NFL team, the aptly named All-Americans, tied a critical game with the rival Akron Pros which ultimately cost our Queen City its claim to the nascent league’s first championship. The referees had apparently lost their balls, so Buffalo’s head coach/QB/team captain/improviser extraordinaire Tommy Hughitt resourcefully offered them his wife’s marital aid as a substitute. The final score was 0-0 because no team could sustain a scoring drive, what with all the fumbles due to the likely fact that everyone was too red-faced to handle the makeshift football. So with all this newfound historical knowledge, Nextmanup, I hope you’ll now have a greater appreciation for Billdo Day?? Enjoy the game, everyone, and make sure you strike Mac Jones with your Billdo just as hard as you would for Tom Brady! By doing so, you’ll effectively be demonstrating to the watching nation your love and pride for all of Western New York! Bonus Billdo Day Pro Tip: The anal orifice can be a most excellent place to hide your Billdo from stadium security, but make sure it has a flared base for easy and safe extraction when the right time in the game presents itself. And during extraction, remember to go slow, arch your back, think of those Kegels you should have been practicing in private during the tailgate, and think about Dawson Knox’s v-shaped torso and muscular biceps in those cute tank tops he likes to wear in the cold…if that helps a little. Also don’t be afraid to ask those slightly creepy and drunk guys seated behind you for assistance. We are, after all, the quintessential “City of Good Neighbors.”

Sure, as long as we don’t obtain OBJ at the expense of Edmunds and/or Poyer next season. The latter two are foundational players on Frazier’s defense. Any number of WR’s from free agency or the 2023 draft, meanwhile, could excel with Allen and Diggs in this Daboll-derivative offense.

Isaiah McKenzie’s catwalk strut is FIERCE. I don’t even care anymore about his slot receiver production. He’s already a champion in my book.

How so? 2023 season: $18.705 million cap hit 2024 season: $21.205 million cap hit OPTION: Cut Von Miller on June 1, 2025 2025 season: $3.705 million cap hit 2026 season: $3.705 million cap hit 2027 season: $0.0 million cap hit Trust the process. Brandon Beane knows what he's doing.

I haven’t been following all this thread drama too closely, Muppy, but we do know the following facts: 1. 716er has been a victim of incessant cyberbullying from the far-right MAGA crowd here. 2. 716er last posted in Two Bills Drive on September 30, right here in this thread. He has been M.I.A. ever since that date. 3. Leh-Nerd still does not have an avatar or wallpaper for his Two Bills Drive account. Now I’m not necessarily insinuating that anything nefarious happened to 716er. What I most definitely AM suggesting, however, is that we make a movie to document the ordeal and that the movie should have great artistic discretion to incriminate Leh-Nerd. Gary Busey should be hired to play any one of the many far-right MAGA villains here in PPP. Nicholas Cage should play Leh-Nerd. Joanna Krupa will play everyone’s favorite PPP subforum protagonist, of course, even though Joanna’s West Slavic cheekbones aren’t quite as exquisite as mine. She’s also 5’8” in height or something close to that, so I will insist that she only wear flats on set. Actually, no, she needs to be wearing heels. So maybe all the other actors on set should be forced to either wear elevated shoes or to stand on discreet platforms?? Or maybe we can use very creative camera angles? Now every good movie also needs a good trailer, of course, so let’s hire Don LaFontaine to do the narration for the trailer if he’s still alive. The trailer should begin with the following voice-over: “In an online pro football subforum world…where cyberbullying and idiotic right-wing conspiracy-mongering reign supreme, only one morally ambivalent man can restore civility. A singular mystery man, replete with poor political acumen, completely devoid of avatar, is all that stands between hordes of low-E.Q. conservative bigots and the apparent emotional runt of the Two Bills Drive online leftist litter.” <<<< Camera focuses on the silhouette of a man, hunched over a table in a poorly lit room. >>> Leh-Nerd: “Aaaarggh! I’m just so conflicted. On the one hand, I really enjoy being a complete d-bag on the internet and making fun of communist libtards like 716er. But on the other hand, cyberbullying feels so wrong. What should I do?! What’s my character arc here?? UGH!” <<< Leh-Nerd slams his fist on the table, randomly tears off a ridiculously undersized white t-shirt, revealing a gross dad bod torso because…much to the surprise of absolutely NO ONE…he was too f*#ing lazy to follow Kay’s vegan dietary regimen over these past few years. >>> <<< A mystery woman walks into the room, flips on light switch. Mystery woman is wearing a white Bills beanie with the original AFL standing bison logo, a #27 Tre White jersey, Bills Zubaz yoga pants, and a ridiculously oversized “Go Bills!” foam finger. >>> Commie Kay: “Why was it so dark in here? Anyway, I couldn’t help but overhear your soliloquy. The answer should be obvious, if you had ever bothered to carefully read my dietary advice posts from the past few years. Compassion is supposed to be contagious, Leh-Nerd. Here…have an Impossible Burger. Oh by the way, have you seen 716er around lately?” <<< Kay walks over to Leh-Nerd and hands him an Impossible Burger. Faint rustling noises are heard in the distance. Camera turns and refocuses on a closed door in the corner of the room... >>> <<< END SCENE. >>> Thanks, Muppy! “Fleur D’Oranger 27,” a perfume bottle gift from Le Labo’s store here in NYC. I apply it every weekday morning. A most formidable scent! It stings the nostrils…in a good way.

You’re forgetting Siran Neal. The Bills like to activate 9 DB’s on gamedays, so Xavier Rhodes could see his first action of the year this Sunday against his former team. The full roster injury list currently sits at 11 players: QB Allen WR Crowder WR Stevenson T Doyle G Boettger DE Rousseau LB Edmunds S Hyde S Poyer CB White CB Elam As of Friday morning, I’d say that Allen, Edmunds, Poyer, White, and Elam still have chances of playing…however small those chances may be.

MUPPY!!! So good to see you in the politics subforum! How are you and yours?? My thoughts regarding the bolded: Yeah, I believe your assessment of Election Day is accurate. We probably have enough election results data and polling data by now to surmise that unmarried Gen Z/Millenial women are the singular demographic that limited the GOP, curbing that party’s success due to what I call their “constellation of creepiness:” extreme pro-life stances on abortion, MAGA election denialism, and general LGBTQ bigotry. As it turns out, there was indeed a red wave on Tuesday…a particular wave that only the world’s largest Playtex tampon could have halted. Yes, that was a gross metaphor. But I’m going to leave it here because, as you know, this is how Commie Kay rolls at Two Bills Drive : ) Speaking of curious metaphor choices…I am reminded of a quote from the great early 21st century philosopher and single ladies’ advocate, Beyonce, which I am paraphrasing in the future tense: “if you like it, then you should put a ring on it.” The “it” in this chosen context means the electoral votes of young single adult females, and “putting a ring on it” signifies the federal codification of Roe v. Wade (i.e. legal abortions up to the point of fetal viability). In other words, this week’s very modest electoral victories are also potentially very ephemeral. The Democratic Party has been using the abortion issue as a political football for far too long, taking advantage of our electoral power since the 1970’s. If Democrats want my increasingly intransigent voting bloc to continue coming out to vote for them in 2024 and beyond, then they need to be making earnest efforts to codify certain reproductive freedoms ASAP that really shouldn’t have ever been up for debate in the first place (a constitutional digression I won’t get into here…). And the same goes for all the other rights to privacy, under the Due Process Clause, that are in danger from our far-right Supreme Court and that desperately need federal codification: contraception, gay marriage, interracial marriage, etc… Court packing should remain on the table as a potent negotiating tool, too. Furthermore, young unmarried women tend to be among the most progressive voting demographics that you can possibly delineate. So moving forward, Democrats would be wise to steer their policy agenda leftward on big-ticket issues like social democratic economic populism, aggressive climate change remediation, non-imperialistic foreign policies, etc…ya know…the kinda things that excite the Commie Kays out there : ) …preferably using some currently unidentified American version of Brazil’s Lula as a political conduit…and in perhaps a physical form a la Joaquin Phoenix or Milo Ventimiglia… P.S. I love both your avatar and wallpaper selection! Very expressive and colorful. Quintessential MUPPINESS. There’s nothing worse in this topsy-turvy world of ours than Bills message board users without either, no? Without these, we’re all just a bunch of faceless posting zombies, utterly devoid of character. Electronic flotsam, if you will, floating amidst an endless sea of inane and excessively morose Buffalo Bills football discussion. Now I don’t like publicly calling out individuals here, so let’s just say that there’s a certain stubborn individual whom we both know (hint: his user name rhymes with Reh-nerd Rin-erd) who absolutely REFUSES to select any avatar or wallpaper whatsoever that might exhibit his wonderfully unique personality. Why? I think it’s just because he also happens to enjoy being a giant D!CK. That’s why. But I guess that’s Reh-nerd Rin-erd for ya. Not much to else to say on this matter, really. Ugh.

318!!! Wooo!!! I was hurdling what looked like Egyptian pyramids after 300, and I think I died by running into a folding table…or possibly a beach chair…not sure what, exactly…the whole screen was a rapidly moving blur of pixels by that point. Quite trippy, I must say, but highly enjoyable. I wrote a most delightful song this morning to commemorate my experience (the words in all caps are for the chorus…oh won’t you please sing along?!): This game makes me want to JUMP! Press my “up” button and JUMP! Strike it twice and high JUMP! Hold it down and long JUMP! Come on now, let Josh run endlessly now, Start it now, come on and jump! Yea-y-yeah, yea-y-yeah! SAY YOU’LL PLAY. Jump over random things, baby. SAY YOU’LL PLAY. Come on, come on! SAY YOU’LL PLAY. Come on and jump! SAY YOU’LL PLAY. Yeah-eah-eah! JUMP! Josh is running now. JUMP! He’s on the move now. JUMP! Josh is running now. JUMP! He’s hurdling flamingos now. JUMP! Kay’s got a high score. JUMP! A really high score, yeah. JUMP! She wants the highest score. JUMP! Just watch her break it now. Kay-ay-ay-ay! KAY-AY-AY-AY! Kay-ay-ay-ay! KAY-AY-AY-AY! Let’s go, Comrade Kay! LET’S GO, COMRADE KAY! Let’s go, Comrade Kay! LET’S GO, COMRADE KAY! This game makes me want to JUMP!

He achieved a high score in this game: https://www.joshallen-runner.com/

I, too, am wet right now. Not from my own urine, mind you, but rather from my own tears. The condescension and hatred displayed in your thread among Bills Mafia brethren is what saddens me so. The sober versus the inebriated. The affluent versus the destitute. The wizened versus the smooth-skinned. Whatever happened to the new 2022 mantra of “choose love” and “Buffalove” and what not?? Urine. Let’s talk about it. Webster’s Dictionary defines “urine” as “waste material that is secreted by the kidney in vertebrates.” But if you don’t care much for fancy books with fancy technical mumbo-jumbo, do at least know that the drunkards form the very backbone of Bills Mafia. I’m referring to the typical Zubaz pants soilers, rosacea-ridden pugilists, folding table smashers, tailgate parking lot fornicators, etc… whose peculiar antics have apparently distinguished our NFL fanbase from others. Our beloved Bills team - players and coaches alike - can hear these peculiar fans, see them, FEEL them (in the non-tactile sense of the word), and yes…even SMELL them from the sidelines at every game. “Oh, oh my…is that a waft of urine in the air?,” inquired you from your stadium seat. YES. Yes it was. That olfactory titillation that tickled your taut nose hairs was the special scent of loyalty, dedication, perseverance, love of Western New York community, and eternal hope for professional gridiron glory. Our Buffalo Bills football team knows this and draws great inspiration from this scent. Did or did not our hometown heroes get the proverbial “big dub” on Sunday night? Yes, and in no small part due to the urine-soaked apparel from those behavioral degenerates that are the subject of this thread. “What the f*&k are you rambling on about now, Kay?!,” you ever so churlishly inquire. “Why the f*&k would the team be inspired by urine smells?!,” you ever so curtly implore. Well…I’m trying to tell you if you’d simply calm down…because our Buffalo Bills football team knows that a slightly sweet stench of ammonia is the waste product of a FAN-ATIC, in every sense of that word. Someone who puts effort into losing complete bodily control. Someone who is willing to risk their health, their jobs, and in some instances their families for a singular week 8 regular season interconference football game. You know…someone who actually CARES about the game of professional football. Or in more succinct terms: if you ain’t peein’, then you ain’t tryin’, honey! I shall conclude my bizarre and somewhat nonsensical post with a (slightly paraphrased) quote from the very inspirational Marv Levy, who was quoting someone else who was probably great too: “Cheer on, my fellow Bills fans. We are drunk and can’t tell where from when. So we’ll sit in our seats and pee awhile, And then we’ll rise up and cheer again.” EDIT: And on that renal-related note, off I go to the ladies’ room…teeheehee : )

We’re already up to two! 1. Josh Allen (California cantaloupe farmer) 2. Von Miller (Texas chicken farmer)

Woah!!! Now THAT’S a name I haven’t heard in a long time…a long time. “Wisniowka”…a.k.a. “Polish medicinal fire water.” I’m totally digging Harry Smith’s energy, but he best be careful with that stuff during future sojourns in our lovely Western New York homeland. Two bowling balls in, and next thing you know ol’ Harry is grinding on Billy Buffalo, launching marital aids toward the endzone, libelously editing Nick Wright’s Wikipedia page from his phone, and canoodling with some Lancaster Lothario in the tailgating parking lot who has nothing but compliments for his Bambi eyes and sassy spirit that belies his mousy wallflower facade…and yet who magically disappears into the electromagnetic communication ether like some amorous Houdini following a confrontation over a secret middle school ex who keeps trying to reconnect. My point: be ready next time, Harry. And bring a coat. It might be chilly.

The activism of “Direct Action Everywhere” is meant to raise public awareness of animal cruelty in factory farms. We can disagree with the efficacy, legality, and morality of the group’s methods. But (presumably) without knowing members personally, none of us have any reason to believe their hearts aren’t in the right places: that is, with the animals. On the subject of factory farm ethics: Bills fans should listen to Von Miller speak about the free-range chicken farm he owns. He touches upon many of these issues whenever he talks about his chickens. The main takeaway here is that even omnivores can acknowledge the atrocities of factory farming and make choices in their personal lives that help minimize the senseless suffering of farm animals. In my opinion, persuading people you know to watch documentaries like this one is much more effective than randomly disrupting a football game with pink flares:

Large Feline Division: Bengals, Jags, Lions, Panthers Other Large Mammal Division: Colts, Broncos, Bears, Rams Avian Division: Ravens, Eagles, Falcons, Cardinals Seafaring Division: Dolphins, Vikings, Bucs, Seahawks Industrial Division: Jets, Steelers, Chargers, Packers Wild West Division: Texans, Raiders, Cowboys, 49ers Executive Division: Titans, Chiefs, Commanders, Giants Important Individuals Division: Bills, Patriots, Browns, Saints

Maybe, but I also really like Benford's long-term potential at safety. If White, Elam, and Taron Johnson are all healthy by November, then I'd look into moving Benford to FS opposite Poyer if Hamlin struggles at all and if Benford looks ready to handle the mental demands of Hyde's position. Xavier Rhodes at FS could be another option.

Nursery rhyme gore. Readers’ jaws drop to the floor. “Carnage they adore?!” Irv gets Buffalo. The urban decay, the snow… Fuels all we know: Murderous delight. We CRAVE a good football fight. A show of our might. Pro football we love. More fitting than O.J.’s glove. We’re all hawk. No dove. Fly south to the sea. The heat, the humidity. Sunday killing spree. Fate, grant us one wish: Whether mammals, whether fish, Their corpses go “SQUISH.” A seventh haiku?! Irv, it’s what I give to you: A poetry slew. Haiku number eight?! Buckle under my word weight. The Dolphins I hate. “Haiku number nine?!” Oh Irv…more cheese with your whine? I see no “STOP” sign. On to number ten?! Poetry violence zen. Quit now? Just say when. Head to eleven?? I’m up in haiku heaven! EL FIN…eleven.

You say toe-MAY-toe. And I might say toe-MAH-toe. Produce, just the same. Why don’t they say “TAG” When they begin with his name?? I don’t get the “TUNG.” Well…sometimes I do… But if it wasn’t wanted, A kick to the balls! NOT a haiku, Dan. Off the reservation now?? Stay within the lines! Wait…why so rigid? Variety is life’s spice! So indulge I will: There once was a quarterback named Ed. A Polish prince who wore royal blue with red. A roster Swiss Army knife You’ll recall from your early life On that ’68 Bills team filled with dread. It began in preseason when Jack went down, Raising fear in our beloved Lake Erie town. They called on you to save the day, Plus Tom, plus a guy who was named “Kay?!”, And ultimately Ed to win the AFL crown. You know how this limerick is going to end: To the eastern division basement we did descend. With Ed we posed no threats, Though at least we beat the Jets! If only Ralph had been more willing to spend…

Way to go, Dan D! A poor AFL QB… But a star poet! 1968 Was not a good year for you. Just being honest. But a new life now! Redemption through poetry On “Squish the Fish” week. Duly noted, Dan. But where’s your own haiku form? Above the law now?? Respect poetry. Syllable integrity. Exactly three lines. Step up your game, please. Less downloading porn at work. More online haikus. Filing a report… No creativity there. What the f*ck was that?! He made some good points. Though a bit too long-winded. Plus, his grammar sucks. Poetry and laws. Hand in hand the two must go. SUSPEND HIS ACCOUNT. I hate Tua T! Not just because of his team. It is his surname. Too many letters. Ugh. The pronunciation… Also the spelling… And throws worse than me! And not as cute as our Josh! Crappy and ugly…

Twenty straight losses. Do not forget history. Serve our revenge cold.

Yep, pretty much. Mitch McConnell understands the political calculus of the national abortion debate way better than Lindsey Graham. Mitch knows that the GOP’s position is completely indefensible**, so the less they bother to talk about it the better. Their winning gambit is to obfuscate on the issue of inflation (see: all of my previous posts on inflation) and combine it with a cultural “crisis” du jour such as drag queen story hour. It may very well work this Roevember, but the least dullardly of the MAGA simpletons quietly understand deep down that their political movement is trending toward a trainwreck by the end of this decade…with Dobbs as the train conductor. Commie Kay’s proof: a multitude of public opinion polls surveying Millenials and Gen Z’ers. “Demographics is destiny,” said someone. CHOO MOTHER BLEEPING CHOO. ** - A summary of why I think the GOP stance on abortion is indefensible: 1. The post-Dobbs abortion trigger laws in the red states are already enormously unpopular (to the tune of 67+%, judging by opinion polls). Moreover, they continue growing in unpopularity as more citizens become better informed on all the disgusting case studies in which these laws are shown to be negatively impacting women’s lives. 2. Even though I outlined a reasonable 7-point Roe v. Wade codification bill compromise on page 4 of this thread to which the GOP would still never agree, the best public policy (a.k.a. the one most hermetically sealed from political realities) is completely unrestricted abortion for all three trimesters. The main justifications for this are the enormous difficulties (logistically, legally, and psychologically) that come with verifying abortion exceptions for rape and i n c e s t. Essentially, it’s a matter of prioritizing the approximately 2% of rape/i n c e s t abortion cases over the approximately 2-3% of abortions beyond 15 weeks due to the collection of contentiously “frivolous” reasons (financial, career, education, relationship dissolution, YOLO jezebel lifestyle, etc). Or to perhaps put it more bluntly and more generally, it’s still just a matter of prioritizing living women over unborn embryos/fetuses. 3. American conservatives can’t point to Western Europe as equivalently restrictive on abortion. Those countries allow for “abortion on request,” despite whatever comparable limits during the gestation period they may legally specify. What this means is that no outside parties (doctors, government officials, etc.) in Western European countries are necessary to verify the qualifying exceptions given for the abortion request. The decision to abort is still ultimately in the control of the pregnant woman. 4. The Bible itself is fairly vague on the subject of abortion. You can find just as many passages that are nebulously pro-choice as you can find that are nebulously pro-life. Not that this should ever matter in the United States, however. I only bring it up for the non-secular humanists and non-existential nihilists among us. EDIT: Forgot about the silly "i n c e s t" filter.

The devil is in the details. It depends on how abortion exceptions are articulated in the bill and how difficult the exception confirmation process is for the woman, with the most sensitive exceptions being rape cases. While I haven’t read any details on the bill yet, I tend not to trust the Christian theocratic GOP when it comes to drafting any bill pertaining to women’s rights. But let’s also bear in mind a few basic facts here: 1. 15 weeks is much less than 24-28 weeks a.k.a. the point of fetal viability a.k.a. the delineation of Roe v. Wade. 2. Fewer than 10% of all performed abortions occur beyond 15 weeks, with most of these abortions related to the medical handling of miscarriages. 3. If you support this bill, then you are automatically conceding the “states’ rights” argument.

Kinda looks like Christina Ricci.

Yeah, but we also have the 31st ranked defense. I blame Tremaine Edmunds.

I guess I’m more sanguine than most other leftists regarding the Democrats’ chances of holding the House. I think the polls may be significantly undersampling Gen Z voters in a midterm election. Since this midterm is markedly different from others due to the Dobbs ruling, performance expectation benchmarks of a 220-215 Democratic House and a 52-48 Democratic Senate seem perfectly reasonable to me. An equally important focus, of course, must be on maintaining political pressure on the Democrats beyond the election. I hope my fellow Gen Z’ers understand this?! We need a federal codification of Roe v. Wade that protects the following: 1. All abortions during the non-viable embryonic/fetal development stage. 2. Medical waivers (general physical health of mother, miscarriage dilation/curettage or dilation/evacuation services, ectopic pregnancies, fetal abnormalities, any cryptic pregnancies and irregular pregnancies related to irregular periods and amenorrhea, etc.). 3. Psychological waivers (rape, i n c e s t, mental health of mother, etc.). 4. Logistics waivers for those stuck on abortion waitlists. 5. Full contraceptive access services. 6. Decriminalization of abortion for all fifty states (i.e. no murder charges allowed for mother or doctor). 7. No legal restrictions on interstate travel to seek abortions. AND IF the Supreme Court shoots down a Women’s Health Protection Act like this one (which would essentially be a violation of the Ninth Amendment and the due process clause in each of the Fifth and Fourteenth), then Gen Z needs to be ready to take to the streets and pressure our politicians for court packing. EDIT: Silly censored "i n c e st" word.