Jimmy Spagnola

Yo Howeird. I don’t even know where to start with youse. Maybe if you wasn’t so obsessed with zip codes Shirl would pay more attention to your zipper code. She sure seems to pay attention when I sees her. But what made me laugh though was youse mentioned Flinkerton. When I get done with Shirl sometimes she says I’m so much more satisfying than that Flinkerton she has been diddling for years. I thought that was her pet name for your you know what. I thought that cuz it sounds like something tiny. Sounds like Shirl and “The Bull” might know each other pretty good. If youse want me to take care of that situation I will give you a discount. Just say the word my friend. P.S. Jets JEts JETs JETS

Right. Like the little brother beatin up the kids in the block like I said. P.S. Jets JEts JETs JETS

How about we find a brick wall somewhere and sees how funny everyone thinks that is? P.S. Jets JEts JETs JETS

Normally I don’t care about football if the Jets isn’t playing but I decided this year I will root for youse to win the Super Bowl. That’s cuz its sorta like the little brother who is a pain in the ass and who you smack around the house all the time. When he grows up a little and goes outside you like to see him beat up some of the other kids in the block. You know when he comes back home you can just knock out a few of his teeth if he gets mouthy. Next off it’s because it is your only chance now that we got a real coach. Good luck for the next twenty years. Youse might get a wild card though. Last time we played we held your superstar phony QB to no touchdowns. That was with a bug eyed freak as coach. Now we got a legit man who don’t take no crap from nobody. You’re dead soon. Good luck whilse you is alive. P.S. Jets JEts JETs JETS

If you could read you's see what I said which was that our coach stinks and we start games bad. Once things settle down a bit we kick the snot outta everybody. Ask your linebackers how they played last week. Oh, that's right they didn't play cuz we put them in an ambulance then we did it again to San Fran. Once we figure out how to start out a game good then there ain't nobody gonna hang. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Check the injury report P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Not for nuthin but if the Jets can have a real plan to start games good then we'd be 2-0. Our coach is dumb and sucks but in both are games we got behind then dominated. If we can get quick starts we will win every time. Look ok at what we did to the Bills and Niners. Both teams left licking their wounds cuz we hammered them all game long. Youse got no linebackers left and we basically straight up killed the Niners. This will be the way things go for the other team all year cuz we is stronger. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T--S

Yo Howeird. I'm glad youse didn't choke on your sandwich like your Bills almost did Sunday. I knew Shirl wouldn't choke. A lot of punks are talking smack after the game even though I came back and said what happened and explained how youse won. Don't get me wrong, the score is the score and the game should count but don't count on nuthin like that happenin no more. Our dumb coach let youse get a 21-0 lead then someone musta smacked him cuz after that we won 17-6 and injured a buncha your guys. The Jets will probably pick up where they left off dominating the next time we play. Still though I hope we get rid of our coach soon then the rest is for sure. I don't no when we play again but I ain't exactly worried. If Shirl is goin to the game and needs a place to stay you can hang out in the lobby. I tell the landlord to leave you alone. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Don't hurt your arms patting youselfs on the back. Youse have a better coach than us so I'll give you that and which is why you won. Our stupid bug eyed freak didn't have us ready to start. Getting behind 21-0 is on him. After that we physically dominated and won 17-7 but that don't count. Youse deserve the W even it is lucky for you. I bet youse want Gore back cuz your other guys couldn't do nuthin. I don't like our coach but we got too much talent and physical domination to lose too many more like that. I think our players is gonna take matters in their own hands. I think we will win the division pretty easy but not as easy as I thought. Good luck until we play again. P.S. j-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

These is tough so I only voted in this easy one. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Yo Howeird. The phone is busy at your number and I guess you never heard a call waiting cuz it wasn't invented by a dinosaur. If youse reading this, Shirl was callin to say don't wait up. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J--E-T-S

Yo Howeird. I didn't say nuthin about your dog but now that you mention it, the dog is always wantin to watch me and Shirl. I might have to kick him in the head to get him outta there next time.

I seen in the post this morning that the Jets cut a buncha guys yesterday. They was dead weight for us but maybe youse can pick them up and improve. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

We'll see how much youse care about my education picking up your teeth off the floor. If the Jets is such a dumpster fire what is the Bills? We crushed them I the last game then stole their best player. I gotta agree on one thing though. Our coach is a bug eyed freak. He is smarter than yours though so we got no problem but I still sorta want Rex back. P.S. J-e-t-s JEts JETs JETS

Yo Howweird. How's my girl Shirl? Never mind cuz I know. She's doing great. Very satisfied if you know what I mean. Ever wonder why it takes her so long to pick you up after your walks? If youse gonna make threats youse gonna have to do more than stretch in a pool where you just peed in it. Do you wear your Depends in there? You remind me of the peas I used to scrape off my plate at dinner. Light work. The peas take longer cuz they're green and before I scrape em I spell out J-e-t-s JEts JETs JETS P.S. J-e-t-s JEts JETs JETS

When we left off the Jets was smacking you around your house like you left the key under the doormat then youse decided youse was the doormat. In a coupla weeks weez coming back to wipe our feet again. I seen your QB on TV and it reminded me. Plus it made me laugh cuz he was trying to grow a beard and it reminded me a when I was seven years old. He looked like he was waiting for the ice cream truck to come around the corner so he could get a push pop. Is he really your QB or does he just deliver the newspaper to the field? At least youse will get to see your best player again cuz he wants to win before he retires so he switched to us,. Good luck tackling him with those twerps you got on D. I gotta say though I'm bummed I don't get to see no highlights of your dumb fans lighting themselves on fire cuz this dumb disease shut everything down. I was looking forward to some crying and pouting too.

Isn't Sydney a girl name? I don't hit know women even for talking bad about my ansestors. You gotta a brother or somethin? P.S. Jets JEts JETs JETS

Take your turn to laugh it up a little. Not too much if you like your teeth though. Youse is having a good season and I think still gets to go to the playoffs even with all the injured guys you'll have after Sunday. I learned this year that coaching is more important than I thought. The Jets gotta ton of talent but the bug eyed freak screwed it all up at first. He don't have no inner personal skills so guys got pissed off and played crappy for most of the season. Meantime youse has a below average coach stupid enough to trade Shady and got not much talent and look at you. I guess I'm gonna root for you in the playoffs since this is your one chance for a long time and somebody's gotta beat that Nancy boy Brady. Mightas we'll be you. Watch out Sunday though cuz the Jets is playing good now and will probably beat you pretty easy. My boy Anderson might take out Howdy Doody or whatever your QB is calling himself. I dont know know if the Jets is gonna fire the stupid coach cuz maybe he can get some players who is gonna do what he wants. I got mixed feelings cuz he screwed up a great team but then again a coach can't put up with stupid stuff like a QB missing a month cuz he finally got a girl to kiss him. I coulda showed Sam a place or two where he coulda got all of the diseases outa the way at once. BEFORE the season too. This year was a headache but we is probably gonna win the division for about the next 10 so if that what it takes. Good luck with your one shot. P.S. Jets JEts JETs JETS

OK I suppose I owes you a congrats on your win and a recap from our side. Basically all the good and bad stuff I said was pretty much true. Youse is a little better than I thought so maybe 6 wins but you still shouldn't uh traded Shady. One think I like about youse is that you don't quit. I hate quitters and you guys ain't quitters. Youse kept tryin even though it was lookin hopeless when we was slapping you around for the first most of the game. That is to your credit. And that paid off cuz you got a little luck at the end and the score is all that counts even if the best team is lower. My Jets is making me a little mad that we didn't get nobody that could make you curl up in a ball when Mosely went out. Before he got hurt the game was over. I'm not gonna complain about the kicker cuz that stuff happens. But if Mosely was in there the Jets win 24-3 or maybe 22 if we miss the 2 pointer. But the thing is though that you can't rely on one player or two. The Jets gotta wake up other than Mosely and Bell. But like I said in the start I don't know about this bug eyed coach we got. I mean I seen that look before and it is usually after I took care of some business I had to do and people get all groggy. This guy looked like someone I hit and then the whole thing went permanent. I hope our D coach get ridda him soon and then we can go about kickin butts. I think this coach though. I don't know any more. I looked and we don't play you until the and which is weird. I figure you guys will be maybe hoping to get five hunnert and that we might still be fighting for home field or maybe even behind the stupid Pats. Good luck until next game and the year. I forgot to tell you that I improved my seat when Angelo and me convinced a guy that our upper deck corners was good and that it was his best interest to swap with us. We sat right behind your bench and had a few words wit 91. He looked nervous and walked away though and we had a good laugh. Oh and I think I'm workin security at the Giants game against youse so I'll see you again too. Maybe I'll take care of that punk too but I'll mostly root for you. Why not? Youse is like a cute puppy team. P.S J-e-t-s JEts JETs JETS

Hey Howeird a beat down is a beat down which is somethin you don't wanna find out. I don't want none of the Bills to get hurt its just gonna happen. As for your wife I'm sure she talks about me but I don't talk about her. But I did come out on top though if you know what I mean. She does. P.S J-e-t-s JEts JETs JETS

OK old man let's settle down a little bit. First off my comments about you is better than the other option cuz that mostly involves my knuckles and your teeth. And I don't recall making no comments about your wife but she made comments about me in case you was wondering what those moaning sounds was all about. Stay on the Senior tour whatever that is which I thought was golf not football if you know what's good for you. As for the rest of some of these comments here youse are all being haters again. I come in here and tries to be nice. I feel bad for you that your team gave up and traded Shady. Youse have to realize where you are at. By week 5 youse will be rooting for the Jets because you hate the Patriots. Why not start early? It's more fun goin for a winner. Somebody posted about the game where the Bills got lucky but then left out the smack down we gave you last year. That game is called a prequel to the next 10 years startin Sunday. Prequel isn't a real word I don't think but they use it to describe crappy movies which is like your crappy season so you see what I did with that. Somebody posted about our coach which I gotta admit might not be the perfect situation. I mean I know he is super smart but I gotta say the eye thing isn't my favorite. He kinda reminds me of the guy from the A-Team that was crazy all the time. I forget his name. Luckily most of the rest of the team is made up of Mr. T's and plans comin together. Plus we got the defense guy that quit on you and likes to smack heads. Youse just happens to be the heads that is gonna get smacked first. P.S J-e-t-s JEts JETs JETS

But we both know someone who does like me though isn't that right old man? P.S J-e-t-s JEts JETs JETS

What's up fellas! I been havin a busy summer this year with some people gettin uppity and whatnot and I just realized the football season is comin up. I been following the Jets like usual and I knew they was gonna be real good but I had no idea how easy it was gonna be until this week. I heard the Dolphins pretty much traded their whole team away and have that goofball that used to play for both our teams startin. That don't matter much though cuz the Jets was gonna win dat anyway. What supprised me was that your team team decided to tank and they traded the best player they got. Why did your idiot GM do that? I mean you guys mighta won 5-6 games if you kept Shady. Now what maybe 2? I think the Dolphins is gonna beat you out for Tua even then and youse are stuck again. My cousin Angelo got some tickets for the opening week and invited me so I'm goin. I asked him who we was playin and he was laughing so hard I couldn't make it out but then I looked in the paper and I seen it was youse. You guys know I like you and all but I gotta admit I'm gonna enjoy the beat down. It's been a long Summer since the last time we smacked you or anyone else. I also seen we're playing you at the end and I won't be goin to that because it must be gonna be about minus 100 by then way up there. Plus the Jets is probably gonna have home field locked up. So good luck after this week if you have any healthy players left and I hope you beat the Patriots even though I have a feelin we won't be needin no help. P.S J-e-t-s JEts JETs JETS

Maybe if youse coulda spelled my name right the quote woulda worked. I thought I told you old man to not get on my bad side. I was over here being nice starting a conversation about the game and you gotta start in again. 4PM Sunday most Bills fans is gonna be crying but not you cuz that is probably past your bedtime ain't it? Do you tape the second half on your beta? As for the rest of youse I'll just let you see Darnold cuz I know that'll do it. I think he is buddies with your guy Allen too. By this time in 3 years I think Allen will be our backup cuz Darnold is gonna have alotta pull with the organization.

I'm happy for youse guys that is going to go to the game up there in Podunk this week. Darnold is gonna show you what a real future star looks like after you go to watch a future bum all year. It musta been pretty fun for ya watchin the Jets lose to Mark Barkley or whatever his name is. I'm not gonna lie I was pretty mad. But the Jets has a plan and this new kid is something special. I think we is gonna beat in the skulls of the AFC East for the next 15 years about starting next year or maybe one after that. The team I'm most worried about is youse cuz the Patriots will hold on to Brady for to long and the Miami guy stinks but is too good to cut. You guys got the table scraps in the draft and he can't throw to nobody. Maybe you shoulda put a side of a barn in the middle of that so called stadium so he could hit somethin. I'm worried though cuz in two years you will have the number 1 pick. Is there QB then?