Jimmy Spagnola

It wasn’t really nuthin to worry about. Just a place to knock some teeth outta some heads and make a few bucks sellin cigs. Most people was scared like the Bills is when they think about week one. And if you knew what youse was doin it was as easy a place as week 1 is gonna be for the Jets. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Yo Howeird! How’s it hangin? Never mind. Shirl told me it’s hangin in a thimble like usual. She already hit me up for your weekend in Brooklyn so don’t worry when she goes out for cigarettes and doesn’t come back for a few hours. I don’t know what a PO reunion is but it must be for old people. If yer 88 you must be losin any marbles that didn’t already get knocked outta yer head. I don’t think Dareus has played on that podunk team of yours for years and you might notta known we got the all time best QB on our team now. Youse more toast than Shirl puts on my plate the morning after we you know what. At least this year you don’t gotta worry about leaving early for Arizona cuz yer seasons gonna be over quick. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Like I said. Quick but not painless. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Youse afraid a talkin football with a fan of a better team? Stick your little fingers in youse ears and sing la la la? It don’t matter none cuz your gettin curb stomped week 1. The Jets is much better than the Bills. We crushed you with Zach Wilson now we got one a top 3 all time QB. Banning people ain’t gonna stop yer downfall. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Youse done Itll be quick but it won’t be painless. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Do youse really see any way the Bills can win this game? The Jets is pissed because they lost to a worser team last week. The Jets is at home. The Jets crushed the Dolphins and the Dolphins crushed the Bills. The Jets is on the rise and youse making desperation trades for nobodies. It’s over. All I’m not sure about is how many Bills fans I gotta throw down a flighta stairs when they get outta line. The stairs is cement there so I’d stay quiet if I was you. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Ready to call the dentist? Cuz youse teeth is gonna be missing Monday. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s JETS

Cuz the Jets is slamming your Super Bowl window shut and snappin those stubby little things in half. P.S. Jets JEts JETs JETS

Day 2 of the beat down for youse. Thanks for letting us get this guy boneheads. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

It’s over. Enjoy your consigliere prize corner cuz we got the best one. No way your guy can stop our new receiver and your old guy has a busted knee. Then we got a guy to smack that smug look of your surfer quarterback’s face. You even lost your backup to the Steelers so what is youse gonna do in the 2nd quarter when Allen is in the tent or ambulance? We play youse twice so that’s like a double tap. Bye bye. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

I seen the Jets isn’t sure which QB is going to beat youse yet. Even though we have the best Josh in the division he is our 4th best QB and we has a Super Bowl MVP which is our third best. The new baby face killer might not be healthy yet so Hunt might have to carve you up like he did to Cincy. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

This week is the knockout punch. Don’t forget to pick up your teeth and bring them home. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

I seen what youse is doing. If youse is gonna wanna get in my face then get in my face then. Don’t hide behind some excuse like an old guy who used to be a quarterback. I like Jim Kelly though cuz he was at least a little tough unlike some of the more up to date Bills. Allen is big but big and tough is different things. Our new baby face killer ain’t big but youse is gonna see how tough for about 20 years or thereabouts. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

I ain’t one to avoid no troubles and I seen a lot of things go down. Mostudda time there aren’t no surprises but this one dude. When there is a big job sometimes the boss calls in this guy Lance. Lance weighs about 98 pounds soakin wet and looks like a kid but he throws people off guard. Then he throws dem down a flighta stairs. Lance also won’t hesitate to finish da job and quietly if you know what I mean. Since the Jets pick I been tryin to figure out who this QB reminded me of. At first I thought the kid looked like road kill. The I remembered Lance. Youse is about to find out. It’s gonna hurt at first but the double tap at the end will be quick. Bye bye. P.S? J-e-t-s JEts JETs JETS

Yo Howeird. I don’t even know where to start with youse. Maybe if you wasn’t so obsessed with zip codes Shirl would pay more attention to your zipper code. She sure seems to pay attention when I sees her. But what made me laugh though was youse mentioned Flinkerton. When I get done with Shirl sometimes she says I’m so much more satisfying than that Flinkerton she has been diddling for years. I thought that was her pet name for your you know what. I thought that cuz it sounds like something tiny. Sounds like Shirl and “The Bull” might know each other pretty good. If youse want me to take care of that situation I will give you a discount. Just say the word my friend. P.S. Jets JEts JETs JETS

Right. Like the little brother beatin up the kids in the block like I said. P.S. Jets JEts JETs JETS

How about we find a brick wall somewhere and sees how funny everyone thinks that is? P.S. Jets JEts JETs JETS

Normally I don’t care about football if the Jets isn’t playing but I decided this year I will root for youse to win the Super Bowl. That’s cuz its sorta like the little brother who is a pain in the ass and who you smack around the house all the time. When he grows up a little and goes outside you like to see him beat up some of the other kids in the block. You know when he comes back home you can just knock out a few of his teeth if he gets mouthy. Next off it’s because it is your only chance now that we got a real coach. Good luck for the next twenty years. Youse might get a wild card though. Last time we played we held your superstar phony QB to no touchdowns. That was with a bug eyed freak as coach. Now we got a legit man who don’t take no crap from nobody. You’re dead soon. Good luck whilse you is alive. P.S. Jets JEts JETs JETS

If you could read you's see what I said which was that our coach stinks and we start games bad. Once things settle down a bit we kick the snot outta everybody. Ask your linebackers how they played last week. Oh, that's right they didn't play cuz we put them in an ambulance then we did it again to San Fran. Once we figure out how to start out a game good then there ain't nobody gonna hang. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Check the injury report P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Not for nuthin but if the Jets can have a real plan to start games good then we'd be 2-0. Our coach is dumb and sucks but in both are games we got behind then dominated. If we can get quick starts we will win every time. Look ok at what we did to the Bills and Niners. Both teams left licking their wounds cuz we hammered them all game long. Youse got no linebackers left and we basically straight up killed the Niners. This will be the way things go for the other team all year cuz we is stronger. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T--S

Yo Howeird. I'm glad youse didn't choke on your sandwich like your Bills almost did Sunday. I knew Shirl wouldn't choke. A lot of punks are talking smack after the game even though I came back and said what happened and explained how youse won. Don't get me wrong, the score is the score and the game should count but don't count on nuthin like that happenin no more. Our dumb coach let youse get a 21-0 lead then someone musta smacked him cuz after that we won 17-6 and injured a buncha your guys. The Jets will probably pick up where they left off dominating the next time we play. Still though I hope we get rid of our coach soon then the rest is for sure. I don't no when we play again but I ain't exactly worried. If Shirl is goin to the game and needs a place to stay you can hang out in the lobby. I tell the landlord to leave you alone. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Don't hurt your arms patting youselfs on the back. Youse have a better coach than us so I'll give you that and which is why you won. Our stupid bug eyed freak didn't have us ready to start. Getting behind 21-0 is on him. After that we physically dominated and won 17-7 but that don't count. Youse deserve the W even it is lucky for you. I bet youse want Gore back cuz your other guys couldn't do nuthin. I don't like our coach but we got too much talent and physical domination to lose too many more like that. I think our players is gonna take matters in their own hands. I think we will win the division pretty easy but not as easy as I thought. Good luck until we play again. P.S. j-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

These is tough so I only voted in this easy one. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Yo Howeird. The phone is busy at your number and I guess you never heard a call waiting cuz it wasn't invented by a dinosaur. If youse reading this, Shirl was callin to say don't wait up. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J--E-T-S