Jimmy Spagnola

You seen what happens when a good team plays Houston? The Jets is coming after youse and it ain’t gonna take long. No refs is gonna give you another game from us next time. How many times is Davante gonna house it on your trash DB’s? P.s. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Youse barely beat us the other night cuz of the refs got paid. Now we signed two studs and a washed up loser came your way. The Jets is still the best team and is gonna win it all. Enjoy your fraud for awhile. Can’t wait to beat you down in that cow pasture youse call home. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Maybe it’s cuz the Jets is men and don’t need to explain stuff to soy boys like reporters and Bills fans. Did youse think of that maybe? Maybe all the estrinogen pills is messing with youse. P.S. J-e-t- J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

I’m glad youse catching up. I know the Patriots is a bad team. That’s the point I started with. The whole division other than the Jets is crap. I don’t want the Jets to get lacksadaisial before the playoffs. The Bills lost their best players and might bore the Jets DB’s to sleep. Maybe Sauce can organize a Parcheesi game while we wait for your guys to run a route. Your QB is decent but he ain’t no Rodgers and he can’t do nuthin when he’s got nobody to throw it too. And why are you talkin about head trauma? Look at that thing in your picture. It’s like a giant light bulb but I’m sure it burnt out like a hundret years ago. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-S J-E-T-S

See wut I mean when I says the Jets might not get enuf hard games to gettem in shape for the playoffs? Just up and down the field like nuthin all night. Meanwhile youse gotta put out hits on pipsqueaks like Tua to get the job done. So classy. Did that punk get suspended for that? I think the Bills is the second best in the division and might sneak into a playoff spot but with Rodgers I don’t see where no one else has a shot in the AFC. I hope San Fran makes it cuz we owe them one. It mighta been on purpose we lost to blast them in the Super Bowl. When does the Bills and Jets play anybody know? Or is that like sumthin stupid for youse to look at like looking over a cliff or like that? P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Since we’re makin suggestions I suggest you don’t go running your mouth where it don’t belong. Unless you’d like a free trip to the dentist. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

She didn’t say that when I wuz there but it seems like she’s just bustin chops anyway. She probably knows how bad youse stink. I was at da one when she beat Inga Switzerland or sumthin. She’s supposed to be good but this girl killed her. Maybe bein around Jets fans made her see how to crack some skulls. P.Sl J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

The Jets is the best team but I’m a little worried. After we spend the year Kicking in the teeth of the sad teams in the East I can see us gettin a little soft befor we gotta play the real teams like the Chiefs and Ravens in the playoffs. Those guys got tough teams to play and we get the weak Patriots and the tiny little Dolphins to kick around. I thought youse might toughen us up abit but now I seen the crap youse gonna run out there. What happened to youse? How did you turn into garbage so quick? Maybe Sauce can practice by trynna guard all your receivers on da same play all at the same time or sumthin. I was hopin youse might at least try but what is this? I guess that whole town is too busy rootin for the tennis girl to pay attention to the team anymore. I had some business over there the other day so I “convinced” some punk in a fancy suit to give me his ticket. She did good. I hope she wins cuz that’s all that’s gonna win for youse this year. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Dis is gonna be an easy year. Youse gettin curb stomped by the worst team in the league. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Yo Howeird in the house. How was the long trip back from Arizona all alone in your station wagon? Shirl flew back cuz she wanted to visit her sister in Minnesota first right? Dat’s what she said. But guess where she visited first. The mile high club that’s what. I know cuz I was visiting with her showing her around. I mailed her a diploma which youse’ll be gettin soon from that well dressed mailman. P.S.. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

I wanna see the Jets clinch home field for the playoffs this year. Do any of youse have good seats? We play up there on the second ta last week. I can getya some of the season ticket money back. I’ll pay 50% of regular price now but the price goes down faster then your season cuz youse all will jump ship by Thanksgiving.. Plus does anybody got the name of a decent hotel in the back woods up there maybe one that has a furnace instead uvva fireplace? Do I even need to bother askin about Italian food? P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

It wasn’t really nuthin to worry about. Just a place to knock some teeth outta some heads and make a few bucks sellin cigs. Most people was scared like the Bills is when they think about week one. And if you knew what youse was doin it was as easy a place as week 1 is gonna be for the Jets. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Yo Howeird! How’s it hangin? Never mind. Shirl told me it’s hangin in a thimble like usual. She already hit me up for your weekend in Brooklyn so don’t worry when she goes out for cigarettes and doesn’t come back for a few hours. I don’t know what a PO reunion is but it must be for old people. If yer 88 you must be losin any marbles that didn’t already get knocked outta yer head. I don’t think Dareus has played on that podunk team of yours for years and you might notta known we got the all time best QB on our team now. Youse more toast than Shirl puts on my plate the morning after we you know what. At least this year you don’t gotta worry about leaving early for Arizona cuz yer seasons gonna be over quick. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Like I said. Quick but not painless. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Youse afraid a talkin football with a fan of a better team? Stick your little fingers in youse ears and sing la la la? It don’t matter none cuz your gettin curb stomped week 1. The Jets is much better than the Bills. We crushed you with Zach Wilson now we got one a top 3 all time QB. Banning people ain’t gonna stop yer downfall. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Youse done Itll be quick but it won’t be painless. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Do youse really see any way the Bills can win this game? The Jets is pissed because they lost to a worser team last week. The Jets is at home. The Jets crushed the Dolphins and the Dolphins crushed the Bills. The Jets is on the rise and youse making desperation trades for nobodies. It’s over. All I’m not sure about is how many Bills fans I gotta throw down a flighta stairs when they get outta line. The stairs is cement there so I’d stay quiet if I was you. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Ready to call the dentist? Cuz youse teeth is gonna be missing Monday. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s JETS

Cuz the Jets is slamming your Super Bowl window shut and snappin those stubby little things in half. P.S. Jets JEts JETs JETS

Day 2 of the beat down for youse. Thanks for letting us get this guy boneheads. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

It’s over. Enjoy your consigliere prize corner cuz we got the best one. No way your guy can stop our new receiver and your old guy has a busted knee. Then we got a guy to smack that smug look of your surfer quarterback’s face. You even lost your backup to the Steelers so what is youse gonna do in the 2nd quarter when Allen is in the tent or ambulance? We play youse twice so that’s like a double tap. Bye bye. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

I seen the Jets isn’t sure which QB is going to beat youse yet. Even though we have the best Josh in the division he is our 4th best QB and we has a Super Bowl MVP which is our third best. The new baby face killer might not be healthy yet so Hunt might have to carve you up like he did to Cincy. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

This week is the knockout punch. Don’t forget to pick up your teeth and bring them home. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

I seen what youse is doing. If youse is gonna wanna get in my face then get in my face then. Don’t hide behind some excuse like an old guy who used to be a quarterback. I like Jim Kelly though cuz he was at least a little tough unlike some of the more up to date Bills. Allen is big but big and tough is different things. Our new baby face killer ain’t big but youse is gonna see how tough for about 20 years or thereabouts. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

I ain’t one to avoid no troubles and I seen a lot of things go down. Mostudda time there aren’t no surprises but this one dude. When there is a big job sometimes the boss calls in this guy Lance. Lance weighs about 98 pounds soakin wet and looks like a kid but he throws people off guard. Then he throws dem down a flighta stairs. Lance also won’t hesitate to finish da job and quietly if you know what I mean. Since the Jets pick I been tryin to figure out who this QB reminded me of. At first I thought the kid looked like road kill. The I remembered Lance. Youse is about to find out. It’s gonna hurt at first but the double tap at the end will be quick. Bye bye. P.S? J-e-t-s JEts JETs JETS