SageAgainstTheMachine

My grandpa says I get my Man Card when my other testicle drops!

Yes, my guess is that Kyle is kaput until 2012.

Meep Meep.

Here's what I do... After every loss I head out to my garage, where I have a feral pig (Victor) tied up in chains. The chains might seem cruel, but they're really only a cautionary measure as all four of Victor's legs are broken anyway, and he's blind. I look Victor directly in the face and say "THESE ARE THE MEN THIS WEEK" and I recite the 53 names on the opposing team's active roster in reverse alphabetical order. When I get to the members of the opponent who scored touchdowns against the Bills, I bite my tongue until it bleeds and then I spit the blood into the pig's face. At this point, he starts squealing (wouldn't you?). I sing him a song to calm him. Usually it's 'We Built This City on Rock and Roll'. Once I had to sing 'Walk Like an Egyptian' because Victor just wouldn't stop squealing! When all the blood-spitting has finished, there is a really intense period of silence. This lasts...I don't know. 5 minutes? An hour? Whatever feels appropriate. I then strip completely naked except for a sock on my (obviously erect) penis. I blindfold myself and start to dance the tango with an invisible partner named Krystal. She asks me to make love, but there's no time. This is serious business. After the tango ends, I recite the pledge of allegiance one time for each point that the Bills scored, and then I poke Victor in the eye with a AAA battery for each point the opponent scored. I then fall to my knees and scream profanties toward the heavens until my voice becomes hoarse. When I'm hoarse, the last step commences. I use an x-acto knife to deftly carve a small (3 square inches or less) piece of flesh from my left buttock, and then I consume the flesh with a small dash of garlic powder. If I regurgitate, whatever comes back up is fed to Victor. He hates this part! But I make sure to give him a big sloppy kiss right on the mouth if it happens. Victor loves to use tongue, but I've been known to slap him. I'm not some whore, after all! This usually calms me down.

It's puzzling to me why ANYONE would want a 2nd term. Every President seems to age about 20 years during his 1st term. You'd think they'd all be tap dancing out of office after 4 years.

You have to credit the Pittsburgh D for their incredible discipline. Not one DB has submitted to the urge to double team Evans in the Baltimore trainer's room.

Whether or not he was actually miserable, there's value in being the mouthpiece for our collective frustrations and annoyances. People wouldn't have watched if they didn't agree for the most part.

Agreed. I still think a legitimate edge rusher is the #1 missing piece.

I thought I was being optimistic in my 7-9 prediction. Right now, I think 10-6 is very realistic given the competition.

Well said. Are the players crying in their beer and saying "Maybe next year"? Of course not. So why should we? We're on pace for 10-6 with a win in our pocket against the Big Bad Wolf of the AFC East and 4 more division games left to prove our worth. Plenty of football left to be played. So let's get to it.

"This thing we call 'Failure' is not the falling down. It is the staying down." I've seen the 2011 Bills come back from 18 points against the Raiders. The very next week, I saw them come back from 21 points against the Patriots. Don't try to tell me that one bad effort at an inopportune time makes this team a bunch of losers. Nobody ever said the road to the playoffs would be easy. Maybe they don't make it when the dust settles. But I sure as hell know that they have the intestinal fortitude for it.

Here's to Mr. Wilson's good health.

Happy birthday friend!

You're right. Maybe I'm a bigger fan of offense after all. I will say that yesterday's game had elements of offensive ineptitude as well as defensive dominance.

Haha, I was being self deprecating, not Pooj deprecating.

Always liked Jane Leeves on Frasier. I don't watch this show, though. When I want to masturbate to images of Betty White I just use google. I mean...ummmmmm

I think that John Adams raises a good point actually. Your avatar is an eyesore and frankly ALL GLORY TO HYPNOTOAD

WHY YOU LITTLE... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV42yt4O1ic

If McCarron could hit the broad side of a barn, Richardson might have had the winning TD on that wheel route.

I'm a Penn St. fan and it's been the exact same story for Bolden (who has some talent, but outright sucks at the QB position) and McGloin (who isn't the second coming of Montana, but he's a decent pocket passer and the team considers him a leader). It's been a revolving door at QB, but the defense has just been excellent, thus the 8-1 record.

Yep. When you think you have two quarterbacks, it usually means you have zero.

I'm a fan of good defense, but this is just a snoozefest.

Stevie: Gee, Ryan. What do you want to do this week? Fitz: Same thing we do every week, Stevie - try to take over the NFL!

With the return of Donald Jones, Nelson moves back to the slot where he belongs and delivers 7 receptions, 100 yards and a TD.

I wonder if she'll put out.