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Be Careful Returning Overdue Library Books


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BOOKMAN: You took this book out in 1971.

 

JERRY: Yes, and I returned it in 1971.

 

BOOKMAN: Yeah, '71. That was my first year on the job. Bad year for libraries.

 

Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards, Abby Hoffman

 

telling everybody to steal books. I don't judge a man by the length of

 

his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But

 

you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public

 

Library, fella.

 

JERRY: Look, Mr. Bookman. I--I returned that book. I remember it very

 

specifically.

 

BOOKMAN: You're a comedian, you make people laugh.

 

JERRY: I try.

 

BOOKMAN: You think this is all a big joke, don't you?

 

JERRY: No, I don't.

 

BOOKMAN: I saw you on T.V. once; I remembered your name--from my list. I looked

 

it up. Sure enough, it checked out. You think because you're a celebrity

 

that somehow the law doesn't apply to you, that you're above the law?

 

JERRY: Certainly not.

 

BOOKMAN: Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp,

 

the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean

 

anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot.

 

Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before:

 

Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're

 

thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library

 

books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without

 

libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change

 

the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right

 

now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees

 

and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers?

 

Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue

 

fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that

 

kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe

 

that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and

 

your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time

 

is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!

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BOOKMAN: You took this book out in 1971.

 

JERRY: Yes, and I returned it in 1971.

 

BOOKMAN: Yeah, '71. That was my first year on the job. Bad year for libraries.

 

Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards, Abby Hoffman

 

telling everybody to steal books. I don't judge a man by the length of

 

his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But

 

you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public

 

Library, fella.

 

JERRY: Look, Mr. Bookman. I--I returned that book. I remember it very

 

specifically.

 

BOOKMAN: You're a comedian, you make people laugh.

 

JERRY: I try.

 

BOOKMAN: You think this is all a big joke, don't you?

 

JERRY: No, I don't.

 

BOOKMAN: I saw you on T.V. once; I remembered your name--from my list. I looked

 

it up. Sure enough, it checked out. You think because you're a celebrity

 

that somehow the law doesn't apply to you, that you're above the law?

 

JERRY: Certainly not.

 

BOOKMAN: Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp,

 

the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean

 

anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot.

 

Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before:

 

Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're

 

thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library

 

books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without

 

libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change

 

the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right

 

now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees

 

and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers?

 

Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue

 

fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that

 

kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe

 

that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and

 

your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time

 

is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!

 

Classic scene!! :rolleyes:B-):wallbash:

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LIBRARIAN: Yes?

 

JERRY: Yeah I called before. I got his notice in the mail.

 

LIBRARIAN: Oh, Tropic of Cancer, Henry Miller, Uh, this case has been turned over to our library investigation officer Mr. Bookman.

 

KRAMER: Bookman? The library investigator's name is actually, Bookman?

 

LIBRARIAN: It's true.

 

KRAMER: That's amazing. That's like an ice cream man named, Cone.

 

LIBRARIAN: Lt. Bookman has been working here for 25 years so I think he's heard all the jokes.

 

JERRY: Can I speak with this Bookman?

 

LIBRARIAN: Just a second.

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So you'd rather read Fabio books than get into a womans......

 

Of course not!

 

What is the old joke about males... They spend nine months in the womb, then they spend their whole life trying to get back in! :thumbsup:

 

Of course I didn't mean me reading the rippers... I was implying the books are read by the young lady that this thred is about.

 

:w00t:

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