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Tonight's True Tales of Drunken Humor


The Dean

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So, I'm sitting at the bar (the Giggling Gator in St Augustine, if you must know) when a VERY drunk dude stumbles in the front door. He wobbles to the bar and slurs out his order "Gimme a beer", he says. The Bartender just laughs at the dude and says, "I'm sorry, you've had a little to much. You can come by tomorrow, but I can't serve you tonight." There was a little back-and-forth...but the guy was HAMMERED and eventually, he left.

 

A few minutes later the other door of this bar, the side door, opens...and in stumbles this same drunk. He looks up at the bartender and proclaims:

 

"Jesus Christ. Do you work at EVERY BAR?"

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So, I'm sitting at the bar (the Giggling Gator in St Augustine, if you must know) when a VERY drunk dude stumbles in the front door. He wobbles to the bar and slurs out his order "Gimme a beer", he says. The Bartender just laughs at the dude and says, "I'm sorry, you've had a little to much. You can come by tomorrow, but I can't serve you tonight." There was a little back-and-forth...but the guy was HAMMERED and eventually, he left.

 

A few minutes later the other door of this bar, the side door, opens...and in stumbles this same drunk. He looks up at the bartender and proclaims:

 

"Jesus Christ. Do you work at EVERY BAR?"

 

Tough night drinking huh ?

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So, I'm sitting at the bar (the Giggling Gator in St Augustine, if you must know) when a VERY drunk dude stumbles in the front door. He wobbles to the bar and slurs out his order "Gimme a beer", he says. The Bartender just laughs at the dude and says, "I'm sorry, you've had a little to much. You can come by tomorrow, but I can't serve you tonight." There was a little back-and-forth...but the guy was HAMMERED and eventually, he left.

 

A few minutes later the other door of this bar, the side door, opens...and in stumbles this same drunk. He looks up at the bartender and proclaims:

 

"Jesus Christ. Do you work at EVERY BAR?"

 

What the !@#$, you can still type without any errors. What the hell kind of drinking night is that?

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Amazingly enough, this exact same story was mosted in last month's Maxim magazine.

 

 

mosted? I am unfamiliar with that term.

 

It seems as though you may be questioning my verisimility...er...verisimilitude...er...You callin' me a liar, motherfuc#er? <_<

 

(Perhaps this drunk is a reader of the trashy "Maxim" and has an ironic sense of humor) :thumbsup:

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mosted? I am unfamiliar with that term.

 

It seems as though you may be questioning my verisimility...er...verisimilitude...er...You callin' me a liar, motherfuc#er? <_<

 

(Perhaps this drunk is a reader of the trashy "Maxim" and has an ironic sense of humor) :thumbsup:

I am also, I saw this joke also in Maxim.

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I am also, I saw this joke also in Maxim.

 

 

You and the drunk share the same questionable taste in reading material, I guess. <_<

 

BTW, in an attempt to hijack the thread I started, why would anyone read Maxim or FHM (or other mags of that ilk?)

 

Good looking babes in "near nude" attire? Playboy has good looking babes in "near nude" attire and also buck naked.

 

The articles written at a 6th or 7th grade reading level? There are many mags targeted to men with far better articles (at least judging by what little I've seen of Maxim).

 

I just can't understand the appeal of these types of "men's magazines" for adult males.

 

Jack, 'splain!

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The real horror is The Dean caught red handed plagiarizing material......and from Maxim no less!! Is there no bottom to the barrel?? Where shall we turn for hope now??? <_<

:thumbsup:

 

 

You can't prove anything.

 

I'm innocent...innocent, I tells ya...

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Woah, maybe *I* was drunk when I typed that too. <_<

 

As for why read Maxim? They send it to me for free so why not? :thumbsup:

 

 

Who are "they" and how did they find you?

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Uh huh... and is Giada by chance cooking in your kitchen again this Saturday AM? :thumbsup:

 

 

I gave her the day off and decided to serve her in bed...if you get my drift. <_<

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BTW, in an attempt to hijack the thread I started, why would anyone read Maxim or FHM (or other mags of that ilk?)

 

Jack, 'splain!

 

As for why read Maxim? They send it to me for free so why not? <_<

What Fez said, I get it for free, I think my sub runs through 2009 or 2010. I also get Stuff, and as you may have heard, FHM until they shut down last month.

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http://www.maximonline.com/jokes/index.aspx?joke_id=1371

 

 

A drunk stumbles into a bar and orders a drink.

 

“I am sorry, sir, but it is not our policy to serve drunks here. You will have to go elsewhere,” replies the bartender.

 

“Ah screw you! Who needs your drinks anyway?” says the drunk as he leaves.

 

The drunk comes back in the side door of the bar and orders another drink.

 

Much to the surprise of the drunk, the bartender refuses the man again.

 

“What the hell is the world coming to when a man can’t get a damn drink?” remarks the drunk as he stumbles away a second time.

 

Again, the drunk comes in the back door and once again sits at the bar and orders a drink, visibly upset by now.

 

The bartender the tells the man, “Listen buddy, this is the last time I am going to tell you, I am not going to get you a drink. Now beat it.”

 

The drunk looks quite confused and then roars, “How many damn bars do you work at?”

 

Chris Thigpen

Stone Mountain, GA

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http://www.maximonline.com/jokes/index.aspx?joke_id=1371

A drunk stumbles into a bar and orders a drink.

 

“I am sorry, sir, but it is not our policy to serve drunks here. You will have to go elsewhere,” replies the bartender.

 

“Ah screw you! Who needs your drinks anyway?” says the drunk as he leaves.

 

The drunk comes back in the side door of the bar and orders another drink.

 

Much to the surprise of the drunk, the bartender refuses the man again.

 

“What the hell is the world coming to when a man can’t get a damn drink?” remarks the drunk as he stumbles away a second time.

 

Again, the drunk comes in the back door and once again sits at the bar and orders a drink, visibly upset by now.

 

The bartender the tells the man, “Listen buddy, this is the last time I am going to tell you, I am not going to get you a drink. Now beat it.”

 

The drunk looks quite confused and then roars, “How many damn bars do you work at?”

 

Chris Thigpen

Stone Mountain, GA

 

 

Well, it looks as though The Dean was set up (as were the other patrons). (Or, perhaps, the drunk was a clever Maxim reader.) I will confront the bartender the next time I see him and DEMAND to know the truth.

 

For what it's worth, they did a real nice job.

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