ieatcrayonz Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 As you know, I have a lot more money than a nickel and a dime. I can speculate with some to plant seeds. Lately I see many advertisements for e-harmony dating. The douche bag on the commercial brags about matching people on 29 dimensions of personality and says that's all there is to it. He should say 29 traits of personality to hold more true to the language like my dear old Aunt Viv. The moron doesn't realize that the whole universe only has 4 dimensions total since that crappy old singing group died. So my idea is to come up with a company that matches these dopes together using 30 traits instead of just 29 traits. We can call it Z-Harmonious or some slick name like E-HM. Trust me, these losers will buy off on either one. With your ideas for the traits and my funding and non douche-bagginess in the commercials, we will kick their butts and bankrupt that little rat. So help me get started. What are the 30 traits essential to a good relationship? I guess I'll go first but I'm probably not going to be much help. I know a lot about satisfying female celebrities but they are very one dimensional relationships. Here goes with the traits: 1. Favorite position 2. Favorite pet. You do the rest. I just reminded myself of Sammy and I have to go now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 Favorite flavor/color Crayola Kirk or Picard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoondckCL Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 Preferred sexual organ. Since i can't say the real thing without censorship you would have to ask "Do you like Terrell Owens, or Erik Flowers"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockpile Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 3. Favorite football team 4. Favorite half-time show As you know, I have a lot more money than a nickel and a dime. I can speculate with some to plant seeds. Lately I see many advertisements for e-harmony dating. The douche bag on the commercial brags about matching people on 29 dimensions of personality and says that's all there is to it. He should say 29 traits of personality to hold more true to the language like my dear old Aunt Viv. The moron doesn't realize that the whole universe only has 4 dimensions total since that crappy old singing group died. So my idea is to come up with a company that matches these dopes together using 30 traits instead of just 29 traits. We can call it Z-Harmonious or some slick name like E-HM. Trust me, these losers will buy off on either one. With your ideas for the traits and my funding and non douche-bagginess in the commercials, we will kick their butts and bankrupt that little rat. So help me get started. What are the 30 traits essential to a good relationship? I guess I'll go first but I'm probably not going to be much help. I know a lot about satisfying female celebrities but they are very one dimensional relationships. Here goes with the traits: 1. Favorite position 2. Favorite pet. You do the rest. I just reminded myself of Sammy and I have to go now. 788931[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary M Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 RJ or Flutie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dib Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 do you prefer carpets or a bare floor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cåblelady Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 spit or swallow? Oh, my. I'm going to burn for that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Coli Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 8. Favorite restraint. 9. Prosthetic limb preference. 10. Do you have any family? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inkman Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 11. Most used orifice 12. Least used orifice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loadofmularkey Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 How are the Cardinals doing these days??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 spit or swallow? Oh, my. I'm going to burn for that one. 789034[/snapback] We're not talking tobaccy juice are we? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted September 28, 2006 Author Share Posted September 28, 2006 So far so ok. A few pointers here folks. 1. Do not be so presumptuous as to assign numbers to your traits. I'm the boss. I'll decide what makes the cut. 2. We've had some good ideas but let's try to keep the sexual traits down. I can handle that since I know more than the rest of you combined. I figure I'll use up 8 traits for sex. You all can use the other 22 for the touchy feely stuff and money and whatever. Ok, keep going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dib Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 . I can handle that since I know more than the rest of you combined. So you have more experience 'handling it' than we do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennesseeboy Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 Holcomb or Losman? Flutie or Johnson? Kemp or Lamonica? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Coli Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 #. Do you have a glass eye? #. Are you allergic to latex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted September 28, 2006 Author Share Posted September 28, 2006 Ok, now this is going downhill. To DIB; more time handling and knowing what to do are two different things. To the rest; please don't come up with either/or questions or yes/no questions. That doesn't help us enough. If we get tired and need a few at the end it will be ok because these suckers will buy anything. For now try to keep it open ended or at least multiple choice. I'll give a few examples that won't make the cut. 1. Please describe what you'd do with caramel, super glue and the cast of Baywatch. 2. What is the best way to fix an auto's brakes? A. Work on them with pliers and wrenches and other tools. B. Replace all the parts C. Write the company with inane anecdotes D. Gooey stuff, elevation and sweet old time. Both of these questions are better for our 30 trait personality profile. Now get to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Coli Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 #. If you were the lock on your back door, what kind of lock would you be and why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marv's Neighbor Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 Stick with what you know best.....Crayons! You could go for 64 dimensions....1 for each color! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussiew Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 I'm totally confused now. But I will say that I think you need more than 8 sex traits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted September 28, 2006 Author Share Posted September 28, 2006 I'm totally confused now. But I will say that I think you need more than 8 sex traits. 789143[/snapback] Not if you know what you're doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts