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URGENT Medical Advice needed


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i am posting this from the woods- i just got a short moment of internet connectivity with my sat modem

 

one of my fellow deep woods hikers was bitten by a poisonous snake

 

his leg is now covered in green pus-ey welts and his eyes are red rimmed

 

we are 70 or so miles from the nearest civilization

 

can someone tell me what i should do

 

here are the materials i have at my disposal

 

nylon fabric

aluminum cooking utensils

knives

corkscrew

bent fork

flora in adirondack mountains

stream water

altoids

dessenex

misc clothing

ipod

30 ft of rope

 

 

thank you in advance- my signal is fading but any help could save a life- i will check back soon

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i am posting this from the woods- i just got a short moment of internet connectivity with my sat modem

 

one of my fellow deep woods hikers was bitten by a poisonous snake

 

his leg is now covered in green pus-ey welts and his eyes are red rimmed

 

we are 70 or so miles from the nearest civilization

 

can someone tell me what i should do

 

here are the materials i have at my disposal

 

nylon fabric

aluminum cooking utensils

knives

corkscrew

bent fork

flora in adirondack mountains

stream water

altoids

dessenex

misc clothing

ipod

30 ft of rope

thank you in advance- my signal is fading but any help could save a life- i will check back soon

395400[/snapback]

 

 

I'm assuming it's a joke.

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Holy sh--! I found this-

 

Call for emergency assistance immediately if someone has been bitten by a snake. Responding quickly in this type of emergency is crucial. While waiting for emergency assistance:

 

Wash the bite with soap and water.

 

 

Immobilize the bitten area and keep it lower than the heart.

 

 

Cover the area with a clean, cool compress or a moist dressing to minimize swelling and discomfort.

 

 

Monitor breathing and heart rate.

 

 

Remove all rings, watches, and constrictive clothing, in case of swelling.

If a victim is unable to reach medical care within 30 minutes, the American Red Cross recommends:

 

 

 

Apply a bandage, wrapped two to four inches above the bite, to help slow the venom. This should not cut off the flow of blood from a vein or artery - the band should be loose enough to slip a finger under it.

 

 

A suction device can be placed over the bite to help draw venom out of the wound without making cuts. These devices are often included in commercial snake bite kits.

 

 

Most often, physicians use antivenin - an antidote to snake venom - to treat serious snake bites. Antivenin is derived from antibodies created in a horse's blood serum when the animal is injected with snake venom. Because antivenin is obtained from horses, snake bite victims sensitive to horse products must be carefully managed.

 

 

Good luck! I hope your buddy is alright! It would be good to kill the snake and keep it so a doctor can figure out which type of snake bit him

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BF...is that you? If so I would highly advise that you pull your toes and spread them apart, take that knife and start sawing until you reach bone, once that is achieved, take the corkscrew and begin turning until it is halfway in the bone...now pull....this should take the pain away from the snake bite

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Take the rope, cut it in half, and hang yourselves. That's the easy part. The difficult part is figuring out what you want your last song to be.

 

 

i am posting this from the woods- i just got a short moment of internet connectivity with my sat modem

 

one of my fellow deep woods hikers was bitten by a poisonous snake

 

his leg is now covered in green pus-ey welts and his eyes are red rimmed

 

we are 70 or so miles from the nearest civilization

 

can someone tell me what i should do

 

here are the materials i have at my disposal

 

nylon fabric

aluminum cooking utensils

knives

corkscrew

bent fork

flora in adirondack mountains

stream water

altoids

dessenex

misc clothing

ipod

30 ft of rope

thank you in advance- my signal is fading but any help could save a life- i will check back soon

395400[/snapback]

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he did not mention a gun, maybe he could stab him or hang him.  Next time you log in try webmd.com.  I found some great advice there when my wife got stung by hornets.

395411[/snapback]

from webmd

 

Immediate home treatment

Immediate home treatment should not delay transport for emergency evaluation.

 

Remain calm. Lie down and stay as quiet and still as possible after the bite. Any physical activity may increase the flow of venom to the bloodstream.

If you are not sure what type of snake or lizard bit you, call a poison control center immediately to help identify the snake or lizard and determine the next steps to take.

If signs of shock are present or the bitten person is not breathing, see the topic Dealing With Emergencies.

If an extraction device is used, it should be applied within 3 minutes of the bite. Leave it on for 30 minutes. Do not cut the skin over the bite before applying the suction.

Remove any jewelry on the bitten limb. The limb might swell, making it more difficult to remove the jewelry after swelling begins.

With a pen, mark the edge of the swelling around the bite every 15 minutes so the progression of swelling can be evaluated.

Apply a splint on an arm or leg that was bitten to limit motion and limit the flow of venom into the bloodstream. If possible, keep the bitten area at or slightly lower than the level of the heart.

Drink fluids (not alcohol) in frequent, small amounts unless vomiting is a problem. This will help prevent dehydration and reduce the risk of shock.

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he did not mention a gun, maybe he could stab him or hang him.  Next time you log in try webmd.com.  I found some great advice there when my wife got stung by hornets.

395411[/snapback]

make a gun out of the cork screw, bent fork, altoids, and nylon fabric...duh

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i am posting this from the woods- i just got a short moment of internet connectivity with my sat modem

 

one of my fellow deep woods hikers was bitten by a poisonous snake

 

his leg is now covered in green pus-ey welts and his eyes are red rimmed

 

we are 70 or so miles from the nearest civilization

 

can someone tell me what i should do

 

here are the materials i have at my disposal

 

nylon fabric

aluminum cooking utensils

knives

corkscrew

bent fork

flora in adirondack mountains

stream water

altoids

dessenex

misc clothing

ipod

30 ft of rope

thank you in advance- my signal is fading but any help could save a life- i will check back soon

395400[/snapback]

Take the altoids and crush them up with the bent fork. Rub into the wound vigorously with the aluminum cooking utensils. Then with the knives, cut down all the flora in the adirondack mountains that you can...chop up and soak in stream water. Then with the nylon fabric and misc clothing, play dress up and put on a snappy little play. Hook up the Ipod to the injured person with the corkscrew and dessenex, this is to monitor vitals. And if all that does not work you still have 30 foot of rope to hang yourself.

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Take the altoids and crush them up with the bent fork.  Rub into the wound vigorously with the aluminum cooking utensils.  Then with the knives, cut down all the flora in the adirondack mountains that you can...chop up and soak in stream water.  Then with the nylon fabric and misc clothing, play dress up and put on a snappy little play.  Hook up the Ipod to the injured person with the corkscrew and dessenex, this is to monitor vitals.      And if all that does not work you still have 30 foot of rope to hang yourself.

395432[/snapback]

 

damn funny. I hope this is a joke or we might feel guilty later.

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