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GRANDMA'S CURES

Keep this on the Fridge

 

Did You Know That? Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately -- without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional "pain relievers."

Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns.

Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose.

Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles.

Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.

Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly -- even though the product has never been advertised for this use.

Honey remedy for skin blemishes... Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a Band-Aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight.

Listerine therapy for toenail fungus... Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.

Easy eyeglass protection... To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.

Coca-Cola cure for rust... Forget those expensive rust removers. Just saturate an abrasive sponge with Coca Cola and scrub the rust stain. The phosphoric acid in the coke is what gets the job done.

Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer... If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly.

Smart splinter remover...just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue-All over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue.

Hunt's tomato paste boil cure...cover the boil with Hunt's tomato paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head.

Balm for broken blisters...To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine... a powerful antiseptic.

Heinz vinegar to heal bruises... Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.

Kills fleas instantly. Dawn dish washing liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Goodbye fleas.

Rainy day cure for dog odor... Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh.

Eliminate ear mites... All it takes is a few drops of Wesson corn oil in your cat's ear. Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing.

Quaker Oats for fast pain relief....It's not for breakfast anymore! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis is pain.

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It's kind of scary to think of how people came to try these things, and even scarier to think which of these are still in guinea pig stage.

 

For the ones involving bacteria and urinary tract infections (Alka Seltzer to kill an active bacterial infection?!!? Some hick saying "...and I'm all right now!" qualifies in the category of Tom Cruise medical advice) and pouring Listerine on open cuts/blisters (the English carpenter guy on Extreme Makeover:Home Edition did this last week and then promptly had to go to the ER b/c it made the problem 20x worse), I wouldn't be taking grandma's advice. For the rest of them, similar to how they did bloodletting up until the 1800s, people get better in spite of the "cure."

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What does it cure ? The urge for horrid beer ?

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Budweiser in this particluar instance was being used as a mataphorical reference intended to imply all beer, but for you beer snobs out there lets say" a nice aduilt beverage made from the finest hops, with a slight malty flavor at the end" helps all that ails ya. <_<

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Budweiser in this particluar instance was being used as a  mataphorical reference intended to imply all beer, but for you beer snobs out there lets say" a nice aduilt beverage made from the finest hops, with a slight malty flavor at the end" helps all that ails ya. <_<

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But if you use that description then you couldn't include Budweiser/Miller etc. at all :P

 

To include Bud and the like it would be more like this:

 

A fizzy yellow adult beverage made using only the crappiest stale hops with absent flavor due to the use of cheap corn and rice in place of malted barley.

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Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day.  The vinegar kills the bacteria.

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Too bad the vast majority of sore throats are caused by viruses.

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But if you use that description then you couldn't include Budweiser/Miller etc. at all  :P

 

To include Bud and the like it would be more like this:

 

A fizzy yellow adult beverage made using only the crappiest stale hops with absent flavor due to the use of cheap corn and rice in place of malted barley.

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Heh, I like my rice beer,however cannot explain why. <_< Especially in the summer

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Heh, I like my rice beer,however cannot explain why. <_<  Especially in the summer

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I'm not a fan of Bud, because it costs more than my Milwaukee Best Ice - which already costs my wife 42 cents a can to buy for me.

 

Living up on Cripple Creek is great, my friends...:P

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Do you believe in any of these cures?

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I believe if you want to try them, go right ahead. If they work for you, great.

 

Unfortunately, there is no particular reason to think that these cure-alls would work any better than, say, standing on your head and sprinkling shredded parmesan cheese on your scrotum. If you really want to know if something works, probably the best you can do is a randomized, double-blinded, placebo-controlled trial. Of course, nobody is going to do that with these remedies, so we'll probably never really know.

 

Which is not to say that they don't work. It's just that I have no reason to believe in them. They may sound better than the standing-on-your-head-parmesan-cheese thing, but that's really all. But when they start talking about vinegar killing the bacteria for sore throats, that just tells me they don't have a real good idea what's going on.

 

Of course, there are plenty of things we do in medicine that aren't backed by rigorous RDBPCTs, but unfortunately that's just the way it is, and we do the best we can. Sometimes that means trying things that don't always make the most sense.

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Rubes.....I'm not so sure about the cheese on your scrotum....but if it works, what the hell go for it.....But Coke (Pepsi in Buffalo) works on rust, fabric sheets on wet dogs, although masking, does aid in wet dog smell, and a very nice lady I know tried the honey on a zit, covered it with a band-aid and the next morning it was gone, sure it might have gone away anyway, but.........

 

Further the Gatorade thing makes real sense, as most headaches are due to de-hydration, therefore hydrating yourself with Gatorade or the like, including water, in most cases should do the trick.

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Rubes.....I'm not so sure about the cheese on your scrotum....but if it works, what the hell go for it.....But Coke (Pepsi in Buffalo) works on rust, fabric sheets on wet dogs, although masking, does aid in wet dog smell, and a very nice lady I know tried the honey on a zit, covered it with a band-aid and the next morning it was gone, sure it might have gone away anyway, but......... 

 

Further the Gatorade thing makes real sense, as most headaches are due to de-hydration, therefore hydrating yourself with Gatorade or the like, including water, in most cases should do the trick.

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I can't see how that fabric sheet will stand up to a thoroughly soaked dog. Like bringing a squirtgun to a wildfire, if you ask me. Or do you dry them with a towel first? May be a good idea, and they won't have static cling, I gather. I just use some old Stetson on my dogs.

 

Don't 'they' say that Gatorade shouldn't be consumed by people who aren't working out/exercising/working hard? This may have more to do with consuming "empty calories" tho. I try to lie down for ~15 min. in a dark room and with a cold compress and if it's still going, I turn to the Tylenol, etc.

 

Maybe the honey thing and some others do work, or can't be proven/nobody cares enough to prove they work. But I can tell everyone here that the Listerine tips will make the problem worse, and that if you try treating bacterial/staph infections with Alka Seltzer, the results aren't going to be good. Meaning if they're not treated w/ antibiotics, you can die.

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Then why the hell do doctors always prescribe antibiotics when you see them for a sore throat?

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This is precisely what my research is all about.

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