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An analogy: New regime vs. dating a girl

todd

By todd
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todd Veteran

todd

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Let's relate the situation of having a new coaching staff & GM to dating. Maybe it will help some of us understand the stages we will go through before we get some.

 

Let's say the first year of a new regime is like the first date. Yeah, you'd like to score but you'll probably only get a kiss with maybe a little touchy-touchy. Enough to entice you and make you think that the dates to come will be worth it. That's where we are after the first year. Our interest is piqued. Why so serious? Record: 4-12

 

Second date = second year. Things are better. After the date, she invites you in to "watch tv" and you fool around a bit. Things get a lot more interesting but you still don't score. But boy, it was fun! You are really starting to like the girl! Maybe she's worth waiting for. You aren't there yet, but you are starting to get confident things are really going to be good if it does happen. Goal posts might come down after we beat the pats. Record: 6-9

 

Third date = third year. Expectations are high. You're getting comfortable with your success. You are getting along great. Things are going so well, maybe you will even get to the SB for the big score! You bring her home, and things are hot & heavy. You can feel the success in the air! But wait, what? It is "that time of the month" so you can't go all the way. You make the playoffs, but you can't get to the show! Think Ronnie Harmon against the Browns. So close! Record: Lose in wildcard.

 

Fourth date = fourth year. You know it will happen. If not this date, then next. She wants it, you want it. If you don't close the deal, it won't be your fault. Maybe her mother is visiting or something. If you don't close the deal on this date, you know it will happen on the next date or the one after. You are in this for the long haul, and you WILL get to the SB with this girl. Getting to the "playoffs" is a given. Super Bowl? Pretty damn soon if not NOW. Record: First Round Bye, possibly SB

 

You can also use the analogy about free agency. Teams sometimes spend a ton of money on FA. They go for it all on the first date, and maybe with the wrong girl. Yeah, you may get lucky, but when you wake up the next morning and look at what you've left yourself with you might be a little disappointed. Or maybe you'll even catch a disease! Call it Rob Johnson Crabs or something. It isn't worth it. It is like dating a girl you meet at a Halloween party. Looks like crap when the makeup is off.

 

Moral of the story? It will take you 3 or 4 dates until you get laid. Relax. It will happen.

Edited by todd
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RealityCheck Veteran

RealityCheck

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Posted

Let's relate the situation of having a new coaching staff & GM to dating. Maybe it will help some of us understand the stages we will go through before we get some.

 

Let's say the first year of a new regime is like the first date. Yeah, you'd like to score but you'll probably only get a kiss with maybe a little touchy-touchy. Enough to entice you and make you think that the dates to come will be worth it. That's where we are after the first year. Our interest is piqued. Why so serious? Record: 4-12

 

Second date = second year. Things are better. After the date, she invites you in to "watch tv" and you fool around a bit. Things get a lot more interesting but you still don't score. But boy, it was fun! You are really starting to like the girl! Maybe she's worth waiting for. You aren't there yet, but you are starting to get confident things are really going to be good if it does happen. Goal posts might come down after we beat the pats. Record: 6-9

 

Third date = third year. Expectations are high. You're getting comfortable with your success. You are getting along great. Things are going so well, maybe you will even get to the SB for the big score! You bring her home, and things are hot & heavy. You can feel the success in the air! But wait, what? It is "that time of the month" so you can't go all the way. You make the playoffs, but you can't get to the show! Think Ronnie Harmon against the Bengals. So close! Record: Lose in wildcard.

 

Fourth date = fourth year. You know it will happen. If not this date, then next. She wants it, you want it. If you don't close the deal, it won't be your fault. Maybe her mother is visiting or something. If you don't close the deal on this date, you know it will happen on the next date or the one after. You are in this for the long haul, and you WILL get to the SB with this girl. Getting to the "playoffs" is a given. Super Bowl? Pretty damn soon if not NOW. Record: First Round Bye, possibly SB

 

You can also use the analogy about free agency. Teams sometimes spend a ton of money on FA. They go for it all on the first date, and maybe with the wrong girl. Yeah, you may get lucky, but when you wake up the next morning and look at what you've left yourself with you might be a little disappointed. Or maybe you'll even catch a disease! Call it Rob Johnson Crabs or something. It isn't worth it. It is like dating a girl you meet at a Halloween party. Looks like crap when the makeup is off.

 

Moral of the story? It will take you 3 or 4 dates until you get laid. Relax. It will happen.

You can't use contraceptives though, or did you forget that you're trying to make a baby?

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BillsWatch Veteran

BillsWatch

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Second date = second year. Things are better. After the date, she invites you in to "watch tv" and you fool around a bit. Things get a lot more interesting but you still don't score. But boy, it was fun! You are really starting to like the girl! Maybe she's worth waiting for. You aren't there yet, but you are starting to get confident things are really going to be good if it does happen. Goal posts might come down after we beat the pats. Record: 6-9

 

You know it is wrong girl when you can not make sure you play all games!

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bowery4 Veteran

bowery4

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I kinda like one night stands.

I opened with what she thought was an offensive line, so she went on the defensive and I showed my big front 7. While she was impressed by the size she told me my 2 minute drill wasn't working so I went with the run and shoot. After a brief time out, it was back down into the trenches, my guys were penetrating her back field pretty well and the game and her were tied up at the end of the half.

The third quarter opened and I took the kick off all the way. My front 7 was again plugging all the holes and we intercepted a pass to her tight end. When on the offensive again we marched down the field on a long drive and were into the redzone. She tried a safety blitz but my wide receiver caught the ball for the score. The 4th quarter arrived and she had the ball, she fumbled it away but recovered a turn over on the next set of downs. We were up and down the field the whole time. My game plan was proving a success and I anticipated she would tie it back up so we could go into overtime. She got six but it was a 7 point game her offence stayed to make a two point attempt to seal the deal. It was a fake though and her quarterback back drop kicked the ball through the uprights, so we went into overtime both tired but hoping we would move on to a victory.

I won the toss and elected to receive, she kicked off and I took the ball at the 5 and ran it back 69 yards. On the snap of the next play my qb fumbled from under center and her weak side backer recovered. She proceeded to separate the men from the boys and got the ball back down to my redzone.

She went back to pass but I got the sack on some good penetration again. She went up the middle and was stuffed. Then she tried the end around and I demolished her wide receiver. She went back to pass for the fourth down, my guys weren't finished with the goal line stand, her qb pitched out to the fullback who tried to bull it up the middle again. Stuffed at the 2. Turnover on downs. I took the ball and decided this is where it would end. My QB tossed a perfect 80 yard hail mary that was tapped around but came down in my tight ends hands. He rumbled for the remaining yards and went in for the touch down and spiked the ball. Victory was mine.

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95altima12 Rookie

95altima12

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Let's relate the situation of having a new coaching staff & GM to dating. Maybe it will help some of us understand the stages we will go through before we get some.

 

Let's say the first year of a new regime is like the first date. Yeah, you'd like to score but you'll probably only get a kiss with maybe a little touchy-touchy. Enough to entice you and make you think that the dates to come will be worth it. That's where we are after the first year. Our interest is piqued. Why so serious? Record: 4-12

 

Second date = second year. Things are better. After the date, she invites you in to "watch tv" and you fool around a bit. Things get a lot more interesting but you still don't score. But boy, it was fun! You are really starting to like the girl! Maybe she's worth waiting for. You aren't there yet, but you are starting to get confident things are really going to be good if it does happen. Goal posts might come down after we beat the pats. Record: 6-9

 

Third date = third year. Expectations are high. You're getting comfortable with your success. You are getting along great. Things are going so well, maybe you will even get to the SB for the big score! You bring her home, and things are hot & heavy. You can feel the success in the air! But wait, what? It is "that time of the month" so you can't go all the way. You make the playoffs, but you can't get to the show! Think Ronnie Harmon against the Browns. So close! Record: Lose in wildcard.

 

Fourth date = fourth year. You know it will happen. If not this date, then next. She wants it, you want it. If you don't close the deal, it won't be your fault. Maybe her mother is visiting or something. If you don't close the deal on this date, you know it will happen on the next date or the one after. You are in this for the long haul, and you WILL get to the SB with this girl. Getting to the "playoffs" is a given. Super Bowl? Pretty damn soon if not NOW. Record: First Round Bye, possibly SB

 

You can also use the analogy about free agency. Teams sometimes spend a ton of money on FA. They go for it all on the first date, and maybe with the wrong girl. Yeah, you may get lucky, but when you wake up the next morning and look at what you've left yourself with you might be a little disappointed. Or maybe you'll even catch a disease! Call it Rob Johnson Crabs or something. It isn't worth it. It is like dating a girl you meet at a Halloween party. Looks like crap when the makeup is off.

 

Moral of the story? It will take you 3 or 4 dates until you get laid. Relax. It will happen.

 

What happens when you get to the SB everything is going as planned and she says "Oh no... WIDE RIGHT!!!!!' and then breaks down in tears... you think it's over and she will never give you another chance but you do get 3 more dates and each one is worse than the one before.

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