We will send someone over to duct tape you to a chair away from any TV's, then throw you in a locked bathroom like Kim Kardashian. Just remember to tell everyone you were being robbed by gunpoint when they find you.
Get a vial of holy water from your church so you can reapply if needed.
We will start a GoFundMe page to help in your expenses because you need to go to the bar now every Sunday, and sit in the same seat.
Is Hondo okay with you having relations with his wife before the game?