Steely Dan

Hello police I'd like to report a breach of contract. Don't let your wife, ever, see that post. What sex and age? He should have put her on eBay.

Since our friend from France (Frawn-say) is sure to be a wine con-a-sewer I'm sending you all a bottle of the finest wine I have in my cellar!!

Women are wired incorrectly!? Outside of 525,031 reasons I can't think of one why you'd say that! What have they been doing to your can for six months?

Just back from the funeral. It was a Catholic service. I'm not Catholic and so the ritual was interesting. About halfway through the service I started to smile because I knew how my friend would be rolling his eyes if he saw this and it brought back a lot of the memories I had of him. I was trying to suppress the smile because I thought people would find it offensive. As much as the priests tried to memorialize his good nature and sense of humor they did it in a downer way. He had a sarcastic and devious sense of humor that I don't think the Fathers would have wanted to bring up in their house of worship. Afterwards when we all gathered at the luncheon set up for the mourners a lot of us talked about the funny times we had with him. I'm still laughing while I write this. Of course the two creationist Christian posers didn't show up. The director of the office building gave everyone who wanted to go the time off to do so. I know it wasn't a time thing. One of the people was a close work friend and they did stuff outside of work. I don't know but I suspect the reason they didn't show was that it was a Catholic service. I'd be willing to bet that they don't think he's going to heaven. I could be wrong and it could just be coincidental that both of them were on vacation and didn't know anything about this but my friends from there said both had worked the day before. I may just be being over sensitive about that but it does piss me off that neither showed.

:flip-off:

They both did a tremendous job with the joker. Nicholson's was more comic because those movies were more comic in nature. These movies are a lot darker. Ledger's portrayal of The Joker was so dark and creepy it was scary. My biggest problem with the Dark Knight is that it should have been two movies. It was two hours long and still seemed like it skimped a little on the stories that were intertwined. I never heard about the Nicholson thing. What happened?

Go to the website I posted so you can learn more about it and what to look for. Don't think you're a hypochondriac. When I was 40 my doctor took a baseline for heart rhythm so in case something happened they would have a normal base to compare it with. If your doctor hasn't done this yet you should probably discuss it with him. I just got back from the wake and there was no parking at the funeral home after I took the last spot. I got there right at 2pm when the first wake started. That wake goes from 2-4 and then there's one 7-9 and I believe the second one may have a bigger turnout due to people being at work. This should just give you an idea of what an incredible person he was. When I walked by the casket and saw his body laying there I was almost sure he was gonna rise up and go "Ha! I gotcha all!" I have never seen a woman so distraught as his wife was. I cannot possibly imagine what his wife and children are going through.

The thief may be wearing a ninja outfit, but he does not appear to be of the same physical stature as martial arts legends Bruce Lee or Sonny Chiba. Surveillance footage shows the heavyset man has a noticeable pot belly.

Oh well.

Eh, I don't know. Maybin, Maybin not. Derrick Thomas was a LB and I think that's what this kid will be unless he can bulk up to at least 260. BS played at approx. 275 during his career. I'm sure the Bills have files on all juniors who might declare for the draft already. Believe me there is a lot more that goes on by the scouts than most people know.

Oops! Almost .

Yeah, I saw it. I knew it wasn't a supply and demand issue this whole time. All I kept hearing from a lot of people was China, China, China they need more and therefore the supply is low. Hopefully Obama's administration will put in regulations on that part of the industry.

I believe cash to the cap carries no dead money when a guy is cut.

How about moving the play clock down from the Jumbotron morons!!!

Angelina Jolie as Catwoman? Kate Beckinsale or Jessica Alba and we'd have a winner!! Johnnie Depp or Seth Green as Riddler! Vern Troyer as Penguin. It's really sad that Heath Ledger died because it's a close race between him and Nicholson for the best Joker ever!

Oh, he was a great guy. A real smartass like I am. We had a lot of fun at work together. I used to bowl with him and razz him because he had a Fred Flintstone type approach to releasing the ball.

Nope. I believe his father had a heart attack and died Years ago and I used to tell him whenever he didn't feel well that he shouldn't hesitate to call an ambulance but, he'd just kind of blow me off with a "I know what the symptoms of a heart attack are." The saddest part of this whole thing is that his marriage was a 1950's style marriage. He worked and she took care of the kids. She couldn't even drive. The only job she ever had recently was a part time job at a restaurant. I hope he had more life insurance than what he was provided through work. It's really a wake up call that I thought I'd share with you.

How many winning seasons have most teams had?

I think our society is set up so that if you go into the hospital for thinking you're having a heart attack and it's a false alarm that you worry people will think you're nuts or a hypochondriac. Better to be a little embarrassed than to leave your family without you. Anyone who will razz you about such a thing is an A-hole that doesn't deserve your time or respect. Don't make the same mistake my friend did.

This is from One Healthy Lifestyle.com What is Heart Disease? Heart disease is a term used to refer to several diseases of the heart and circulatory system, including coronary artery disease, heart arrhythmias, heart attack, angina and heart failure. Congenital heart disease affects newborns and is normally the cause of structural defects in the heart. Ischemic heart disease is characterized by chest pain, angina and heart failure. The risk increases for ischemic heart disease as a person gets older. Symptoms of heart disease include: * Chest or arm pain or discomfort * Shortness of breath * Dizziness or nausea * Abnormal heartbeat * Fatigue or unnatural tiredness Symptoms of heart disease can vary from person to person and differ from man to woman. Watch for symptoms of a heart attack, which include: * Pain or discomfort in the center of the chest * Pain in the arms, back, neck, jaw or stomach * Shortness of breath * Breaking out in a cold sweat * Nausea * Feeling faint or woozy Symptoms for women are normally less specific, and include fatigue, trouble sleeping, feelings of anxiety, problems breathing and indigestion. Any symptom of heart disease is a reason to call your doctor. Don’t put it off if you suspect you’re having a heart attack. If you’re having a heart attack, chew one aspirin and call 911. Do not attempt to move or drive yourself to the hospital.

He was 40 years old and had a heart attack while driving home because he didn't feel well. He walked a mile every night on his treadmill and was in good shape. When another friend emailed me about his passing I had to read the email about 10 times before it actually sunk in that he really was dead. I'm going to the wake today and the funeral tomorrow. My brother said that Dr. Dean Edell has ten symptoms of a heart attack and a guide to how they should be interpreted. I'll see if I can find it later. I believe there are 10 signs and if you have two or more you should go to the doctor. He had a wife and three young kids, 14, 13 and 11. He was a great guy. Don't think you're overreacting when you think you might be having a heart attack.

Not everyone owns a fryer. Why don't you go fry a frozen turkey. Ummmm....there is....ummmm....what about...oh, I remember it was, wait no it wasn't him....I heard a cat meow once and it kinda sounded like you respected yourself or maybe it he was saying Peter Pan Guy is Poojers favorite fantasy. I don't know. I can't think of one.

Yeah, too bad he didn't own the team during the early nineties.

Here's a suggestion

I'm sure his uncle Joey will be able to help. What a dumbass. I would've liked to have been a fly on the wall when the chatter in the room stopped completely and looks of shock filled the room.