UB2SF

Eric Bassey? Per Chris Brown's blog today

Sorry 'bout that, Poojer. Actually, my whole intent with this post is to keep the existing AI thread alive. Without Johnny's posts this season, the thread has atrophied into a series of, "wow, Sanjaya's a freak" posts, with relatively low readership or responses. The purpose of this post was not to discuss AI, but rather, to get people to go to the original thread and discuss AI. Now that I've cleared that up, how 'bout them Sabres?

I bow in gratitude before The Master. Glad you're still with us, Johnny, even if not among the American Idol thread posters.

For those of you who miss Johnny Coli's American Idol recaps from last season, I thought I'd let you know that I've posted an homage over in the American Idol thread. My Homage to Johnny Coli

As one of the devoted readers of Johnny Coli’s episode summaries last season, I’ve been Jonesing for a snarky weekly recap. So I guess it’s time to take matters into my own hands… American Idol Season 6 Air Date: 27-Mar-07 Guest Coach: Gwen Stefani Pop Music night started with Lakisha Jones, or as I like to call her, La Quiche á Jones, doing the disco diva thing. Wearing an awkward dress made from my Uncle Morty’s bathroom wallpaper, and with her lower legs packed like lamb shanks into giant leather boots, La Quiche á looked almost unrecognizable. But her vocals were spot-on as usual, so she’s safe from having to go back home to The Bank. Next up was Chris Sligh, or as I call him, Lardy McBrillopadd, straining every fiber in his jiggly throat to hit the high notes of a Police song. It was a tough night for Lardy, and it was clear that even he thought he sucked. I feel bad for him, what with having to overcome the disabling obstacle of being a muppet. When Paula said that Lardy’s lack of rhythm was “an eyesore for the audience”, I’m pretty sure she was saying he’s ugly. (Not sure, though. Anyone here speak Paula?) Looks like it’s back to the video store for you, Mr. McBrillopadd. Maybe they’ll at least give you a “Chris’s Faves” rack where you can spotlight such classics as The Matrix and The Muppets Take Manhattan. The third contestant was Gina Glocksen, or as I call her, ‘Gina (just cuz her name looks kinda dirty with the apostrophe). ‘Gina sang a drippy ballad while shrink-wrapped into a dress made from my chiropractor’s waiting-room window treatments, accessorized by Goth boots and her infected pierced tongue. I think the judges said she sang well, but I was too distracted by the way the dress made her look like a transsexual or drag queen. I’ve been wondering what ‘Gina’s audience voting demographic was, but know I know: the tranny glam hag demographic. That’s a very powerful voting bloc in Middle America, and it will carry ‘Gina through to next week. Next up was Sanjaya Malakar, or as I call him, Sangria Shemale-akar. The light and fruity Sangria again showed his, um, er, versatility? in his stylistic and musical choices. Atop his head was a poofy headdress originally worn by a horse pulling Julius Caesar’s chariot, perhaps to provide Sangria some vertical stability so the wind wouldn’t blow him over. Musically, he had the, um, er, balls? to perform a No Doubt song. You could tell by the tone of Gwen Stefani’s comment that she was stupified, and perhaps a little creeped out, by Sangria’s initial run-through of the song. I’m convinced that the producers are putting Sangria up to all this weirdness for comic value. Alas, he too will receive overwhelming support from the tranny glam hag demographic and will probably be back for more opportunities to play dress-up in front of millions of viewers. The fifth performer was Hayley Scarnato, or as I call her, Gams O’Do-me. She again mistook American Idol for Miss America, giving a pageant-worthy ballad performance in a clingy dress with her trademark elastic hemline under her buttocks. Sure, she’s easy on the eyes, but we have to admit that Gams is walking on the precipice of elimination, preparing for the fork in the road of her future: doing the weather on the 6:00 news, or doing Playboy. Or both. The clingy dress will ensure her another week on the show, but the end is nigh. Next was Phil Stacy, or as I call him, Paler Sailor, singing the Police. Besides his creepy eyes that look through your television screen directly into your soul, Paler was actually pretty good this week. Not sure what his demographic is, but I’m sure it has something to do with those eyes, and I’m pretty sure they’ll vote him through to next week. Number seven was Melinda Doolittle, or as I call her, Ebony Neckless. She laid down the gauntlet in the ongoing chubby-diva-duel with La Quiche á by singing a disco song too. Score this one for Ebony, who looks more like a star every week. I have to say, though: her doe-eyed humility schtick during the judges remarks is getting really old. Each week it looks more fake and leaves me convinced that on the inside, she is an egotistical, pompous a$$. Nonetheless, Ms. Neckless continues her onslaught toward the season finale. Next up was Blake Lewis, or as I call him, b’shicka-b’shicka-b-b-lake, attempting to prove that he doesn’t have to beatbox every week. Sorry, b’shicka, your Cure song was dreadfully boring and the only thing that kept me awake was my anticipation of the beatboxing… which never happened! What a ripoff! Stick to what works, b’shicka, and while you’re at it, stay away from the vintage 1983 clothing, mmm-kay? We don’t need another Anthony Federov. Fortunately, you’re safe to b-b-b-beatbox again next week, so grab a seat next to Ebony Neckless. The number nine spot was Jordin Sparks, or as I call her, Sparky Permasmile. Like Sangria, Sparky chose a No Doubt song, but unlike Mr. Shemale-akar, Ms. Permasmile actually kinda pulled it off. Sparky also chose the 1983 look, but in her case, it was the 1983 fifth-grader look, which was an almost uncomfortable contradiction with the Hey Baby lyrics. Eeew. Anyway, America hearts Sparky so she’ll stick around for quite awhile. She better -- she’s my pick in the office American Idol pool. Closing the show was Chris Richardson, or as I call him, Justin Noseflute. Singing yet another No Doubt song (residuals for Gwen, anyone?), Justin reminded us why he’ll someday be the spokesmodel for Flonase nasal spray. Poor guy, what with all that mucous in his sinuses. I mean, I’m assuming he has a lot of mucous, because man, he sure sounds like he has a lot of mucous. Randy and Paula were both entranced by Justin’s dreamy sparkly eyes and inexplicably gave him rave remarks. Looks like Paler Sailor’s eye-based voting demographic will be pulled in by Mr. Noseflute as well, giving him at least one more week to wow us with his wow-less-ness. Will Lardy McBrillopad really be sent back to Sesame Street Video? Or will Gams O’Do-me finally take those phone calls from The Weather Channel and Hugh Hefner? Or will the tranny glam hag demographic not be enough to carry Sangria Shemale-akar and ‘Gina? Find out tonight… after the break.

Yahoo Photos usually has 10 or 20 photos from each game... a bit larger than the ones on BB.com, but still not HQ. Nonetheless, I usually change my wallpaper each week using a fresh picture from Yahoo Photos. Here's the Yahoo Photos page for the Bills And here's the one that I'm using for my wallpaper this week

Brooks was not the only person responsible for his unbearable performance last night. The Raiders O-Line had the worst performance I ever remember seeing in a lifetime of watching football. Even more inexplicable was that the Raiders "brain"trust refused to adjust the play-calling. What do you do when your QB gets sacked taking 7-step drops? Why, that's easy -- have him take more 7-step drops. No draws, screens, quick slants. Nothing. It was totally unbelievable to me. But Brooks definitely contributed to the problem by holding on to the ball too long. And then after they yanked him out of the game, he could be seen smirking on the sidelines as Andrew Walter started getting sacked just like Brooks did. That team is a fuggin' mess.

Watching the game with my kids, I had to restrain myself from cursing. At one point, I did let out "COY EFFING WIRE" (that's not shorthand -- I literally said "effing" for the sake of my kids) and my daughter looked at me like I was making up words. Wire was his same old self -- totally out of position and overpursuing. Dillon and Maroney owe most of their first-quarter yardage to that clown. As soon as Whitner replaced him, there was #20 in or near every run play which reached the second level... whereas in the first quarter, #27 could usually be found lunging awkwardly sideways to try to recover from his over-pursuit, as the ball-carriers sped past him.

No, he's just waisted.

I usually try to stay out of threads like this, but dude, I can't let that one slide. There are millions of people in this country, especially in the south and in rural areas, who have a significant problem with race, regardless of the place on the economic totem pole. My mother-in-law, who's a middle-class caucasian from South Carolina, has no problem complaining about all the "Spanish people" when she visits us in California. When we point out that most of those "Spanish people" are here in the US legally (and aren't from Spain ), she says those facts don't matter. She just has a problem with them being here.

Maybe this is a LAMP reply, but... ...my girlfriend is a coworker of Nance's sister. On the day Nance was signed, his sister sent an e-mail to dozens of people, saying that she had never really paid any attention to the Bills before, but now she's going to be "the world's biggest Bills fan". I certainly appreciated the bandwagon-jumping sentiment, but I told my girlfriend to refer Nance's sister to TBD in order to get a sense of what it means to be a true Bills fan before making such claims! The passion, the intensity, the cynicism, the masochism, the boatloads of money being spent watching the team lose... now *that's* what Bills fan-dom really means! And yes, I'm one of the people spending a huge portion of my disposable income watching losses. Go Martin Nance! Go Bills!

The artist is KT Tunstall, and I'm responding because I saw her in concert last night at The Fillmore in San Francisco. What a show! KT Tunstall is from Scotland, and her big break came because the neice of the program director at KFOG, the main adult rock station in San Francisco, was living in Europe, caught wind of KT, and sent the CD to her aunt, who promptly put KT into rotation on KFOG. KT has been HUGE in San Francisco for almost a year now, and at last night's concert, she explained that SF "adopted her" about 9 months before the rest of the world. She explained that KFOG called her record company awhile back to congratulate them on finding an amazing talent like KT, to which they replied "who?" Then they saw the sales numbers and realized that she was about to pop. She and her band seemed beside themselves with joy to be playing The Fillmore, one of the most legendary halls in all of rock & roll. And not just playing there, but selling it out! They all seem really young and were literally giggling with the excitement of it all. Beyond "Black Horse", the rest of the songs she played were really, really good.

Found the answer to my own question, in case anyone is interested. Actually, lots of intresting Idol stuff in this link to Brian May's blog... Blog from Brian May's website

gringo starr bogarts. Beautiful!

I thought Queen was supposed to perform live on the results show -- I seem to recall Ryan saying that on Tuesday's show, or at least on last week's elimination show when they announced Queen Week. Anybody know why they didn't perform? Was Brian May too pi$$ed that Ace didn't get booted off the show after asking Queen to change the arrangement of We Will Rock You? And Johnny Coli, let me add another voice to the chorus of your fans. Your reviews are genuinely entertaining and have assumed cult legend status among my friends who are brave enough to admit they watch Idol.

Saw one on the northwest side of Lake Tahoe, near the entrance to Squaw Valley.

This isn't a joke, but a question: was it just my (vivid) imagination, or after discussing being taped in, did she do a little jiggle and say something about feeling "free"?

Being in the San Francisco real estate market, I can definitely understand the temptation. I haven't lived on a boat myself, but I've known a bunch of people here in the Bay Area who have. I wouldn't say you're "insane" to be considering it, but from my friends' experiences, I'd advise a hearty amount of caution. Even on a large sailboat, the living quarters are small, even relative to small apartments. This could put a lot of strain on the relationship between you and your wife, as every little annoyance is amplified by way of proximity. Also, one woman I knew who was a boat-dweller always smelled awful, because she was a smoker who lived with another smoker and a dog. I mean, she smelled *disgusting* all the time. Lastly, be aware of what your "neighbors" down at the harbor might be like. At least here in the Bay Area, a lot of boat-dwellers are unemployed antisocial misfits with drinking problems. Boat living may seem like an independent way to go, but you'll probably wind up moored closely between two boats, whose residents could really influence your quality of life. Good luck!

A few years ago I lost 30 pounds by following the Zone diet, and I still follow it to this day. Everyone who's had successful weight loss with a specific approach will preach about how great it was, so I'll try not to do that. However, I'll suggest a couple things from what I learned by keeping myself at my high-school weight for 3 years now. 1) You should really try to get some lean protein into every meal, and probably in your snacks too. Depending on what you like, this could be turkey, chicken, fish, eggs (especially egg whites), tofu and other soy proteins. 2) I'd say you're definitely eating too many bananas. While they are rich in nutrients, they're also "high-glycemic carbs", which means that they make your blood sugar rise higher than other carbs. 3) Try adding nuts into your diet, especially almonds or cashews. They are high in fiber and nutrients, and while they're high in fat, it's the "good" unsaturated kind. Some people have trouble believing that eating nuts can help you lose weight, but it's true. To go all Zone on yo' a$$ (here's the preaching part): - Try to eat three square meals a day, plus a snack in the afternoon and a snack in the evening. - Each meal should have a balance of protein, carbs, and fat. Good luck! PM me if you want more info on The Zone.

I think we won't see much more from the twins. From today's CNN.com: 'Idol' twins charged with forgery, theft Brittenum brothers featured on Tuesday's show MEMPHIS, Tennessee (AP) -- They sang like angels for their audition on Tuesday's "American Idol" premiere, but a pair of Memphis twins may sound more like jailbirds by the time the show goes live from Hollywood. Terrell Brittenum, 28, has been in jail since January 10 on an outstanding warrant for charges related to the illegal purchase of a car in Rockdale County, Georgia, east of Atlanta. He and his brother, Derrell, are accused of using another man's identity to buy a 2005 Dodge Magnum in June. Derrell was expected to turn himself in on the same charges of forgery, theft by deception and financial identity fraud, The Commercial Appeal newspaper reported. The brothers auditioned together in September for the hit TV show "American Idol" and impressed the show's prickly judges to continue to the next round. Segments of the show have already been recorded and will air during the next few weeks. Fox Broadcasting Co. refused to discuss the Brittenums or their status on the show.

Yeah, but here's another one. Still so sure Hurley's out of her league? Click and scroll down -- <shudder>

This is a must for Gabriel fans. It's the same concert as the Secret World Live double audio CD.

Kind of in the mold of Willis. 6'0", 220+ pounds, decent speed and moves, but neither a flashy break-away type nor a classic bruiser. Here's his draft profile from NFL.com I enjoyed watching him in preseason and would like to see him get some carries in these last couple garbage games.

This is just too funny... The Smoking Gun

A friend of mine at work is a die-hard NFL fan but never watches college football. I was raving to her recently about Reggie Bush, and words just couldn't do justice to his talents. Anyone know where I can find some video clips on-line? I Googled for awhile, but didn't find anything.