Okay serious answer.
He'll be in the league for a while. He has very little field sense, and a pretty much one dimensional game. But he has enough pure physical skill that he'll probably last at least another 5 seasons, barring major injury. He likely will at some point get one more chance to start someowhere, but in good old JP fashion not do well, and will not last a season as the starter. Career backup as he seems to do well out of the bullpen.