Jimmy Spagnola

It wasn’t really nuthin to worry about. Just a place to knock some teeth outta some heads and make a few bucks sellin cigs. Most people was scared like the Bills is when they think about week one. And if you knew what youse was doin it was as easy a place as week 1 is gonna be for the Jets. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Yo Howeird! How’s it hangin? Never mind. Shirl told me it’s hangin in a thimble like usual. She already hit me up for your weekend in Brooklyn so don’t worry when she goes out for cigarettes and doesn’t come back for a few hours. I don’t know what a PO reunion is but it must be for old people. If yer 88 you must be losin any marbles that didn’t already get knocked outta yer head. I don’t think Dareus has played on that podunk team of yours for years and you might notta known we got the all time best QB on our team now. Youse more toast than Shirl puts on my plate the morning after we you know what. At least this year you don’t gotta worry about leaving early for Arizona cuz yer seasons gonna be over quick. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Like I said. Quick but not painless. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Youse afraid a talkin football with a fan of a better team? Stick your little fingers in youse ears and sing la la la? It don’t matter none cuz your gettin curb stomped week 1. The Jets is much better than the Bills. We crushed you with Zach Wilson now we got one a top 3 all time QB. Banning people ain’t gonna stop yer downfall. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Youse done Itll be quick but it won’t be painless. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Do youse really see any way the Bills can win this game? The Jets is pissed because they lost to a worser team last week. The Jets is at home. The Jets crushed the Dolphins and the Dolphins crushed the Bills. The Jets is on the rise and youse making desperation trades for nobodies. It’s over. All I’m not sure about is how many Bills fans I gotta throw down a flighta stairs when they get outta line. The stairs is cement there so I’d stay quiet if I was you. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

Ready to call the dentist? Cuz youse teeth is gonna be missing Monday. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s JETS

Cuz the Jets is slamming your Super Bowl window shut and snappin those stubby little things in half. P.S. Jets JEts JETs JETS

Day 2 of the beat down for youse. Thanks for letting us get this guy boneheads. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

It’s over. Enjoy your consigliere prize corner cuz we got the best one. No way your guy can stop our new receiver and your old guy has a busted knee. Then we got a guy to smack that smug look of your surfer quarterback’s face. You even lost your backup to the Steelers so what is youse gonna do in the 2nd quarter when Allen is in the tent or ambulance? We play youse twice so that’s like a double tap. Bye bye. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

I seen the Jets isn’t sure which QB is going to beat youse yet. Even though we have the best Josh in the division he is our 4th best QB and we has a Super Bowl MVP which is our third best. The new baby face killer might not be healthy yet so Hunt might have to carve you up like he did to Cincy. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

This week is the knockout punch. Don’t forget to pick up your teeth and bring them home. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

I seen what youse is doing. If youse is gonna wanna get in my face then get in my face then. Don’t hide behind some excuse like an old guy who used to be a quarterback. I like Jim Kelly though cuz he was at least a little tough unlike some of the more up to date Bills. Allen is big but big and tough is different things. Our new baby face killer ain’t big but youse is gonna see how tough for about 20 years or thereabouts. P.S. J-e-t-s J-E-t-s J-E-T-s J-E-T-S

I ain’t one to avoid no troubles and I seen a lot of things go down. Mostudda time there aren’t no surprises but this one dude. When there is a big job sometimes the boss calls in this guy Lance. Lance weighs about 98 pounds soakin wet and looks like a kid but he throws people off guard. Then he throws dem down a flighta stairs. Lance also won’t hesitate to finish da job and quietly if you know what I mean. Since the Jets pick I been tryin to figure out who this QB reminded me of. At first I thought the kid looked like road kill. The I remembered Lance. Youse is about to find out. It’s gonna hurt at first but the double tap at the end will be quick. Bye bye. P.S? J-e-t-s JEts JETs JETS

Yo Howeird. I don’t even know where to start with youse. Maybe if you wasn’t so obsessed with zip codes Shirl would pay more attention to your zipper code. She sure seems to pay attention when I sees her. But what made me laugh though was youse mentioned Flinkerton. When I get done with Shirl sometimes she says I’m so much more satisfying than that Flinkerton she has been diddling for years. I thought that was her pet name for your you know what. I thought that cuz it sounds like something tiny. Sounds like Shirl and “The Bull” might know each other pretty good. If youse want me to take care of that situation I will give you a discount. Just say the word my friend. P.S. Jets JEts JETs JETS