CosmicBills Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 ESPN’s Clyde Writington Reports: 76ers Fry the Meatballs 31-17 Marseille 'Stade Velodrome', March 26, 2008: Marseille put a stop to their four game skid when the newly formed Stockholm Meatballs rode into town. Literally. The Meatballs, newly relocated from Eindhoven, arrived on horseback. New team owner Fat Daddy Ca$h thought the symbolic ride from Stockholm to the south of France would be a fitting way to usher in a new era in the Football crazed city of Stockholm. “To have our players ride in on horses,” Mr. Ca$h said before leaving, “would be like watching the Vikings dismount from their ships before they pillaged a small coastal town. Truly a magnificent sight.” Yet, the eccentric team owner failed to calculate how the 3,000km horseback ride would affect team morale. “My ass hurts. And before you ask, I like the ladies,” stated Meatball DE riCan Havoc once he dismounted his steed at the fifty yard line. Rookie QB Tyrone Slothrop was less concerned about chaffing and more concerned about the team’s accommodations during the trek, “Mr. Cash wanted us to feel like true warriors, so we slept outside during the trip. In the dirt and snow. Thankfully he supplied us with plenty of grog to keep us hydrated.” This evidently was true as Meatballs’ starting LT Big Poppa Scrilla sat down on the forty yard line during the middle of the second quarter to drunk dial his ex girlfriend. The ramifications of the journey continued to show on the field as the Meatballs’ D allowed the 76ers to march down the field at will, scoring three TDs in the first three quarters. Marseille RB Lewis Ibarra was not surprised at the Meatballs lack of defense. “Guys were talking, man. I heard they ran out of food in the Alps so they ate their middle linebacker” Ibarra said. In his post game presser, Ca$h retorted, “It’s called taking one for the team.” Cash then chucked his half full bottle of Crystal at Chris Berman and stormed off the podium. Despite the hardships they faced on their journey, some of the Meatballs came to play. Slothrop was steady in his first professional start, throwing for over 200 yards and a touchdown. His favorite target was fellow rookie Willie Banks who turned in an electric 9 catch, 128 yard, 1 TD performance. Equally impressive was rookie kicker Dick Mickamayer who drilled a 33 yard FG and 2 extra points despite having several toes amputated due to frostbite on the journey. “It’s amazing at how much more accuracy I have now,” he told reporters after the game. After the game, the Meatballs were seen boarding buses and not mounting horses. Fat Daddy Cash explained, “I’m a showman. I’m trying to put on the best possible show for the fans. Obviously we didn’t do that today. We’re not afraid to admit when we’re wrong and change tactics.” No one’s sure what’s next for the Meatballs as they venture to Stockholm for their first home game in the new Meatball Pan Stadium. But as Cash said before boarding the team bus one thing is for certain, “We might not be the best team, but dammit we’re the most fun.” ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fat Daddy Cash announced open tryouts for the Meatballs for the next 40 hours. The Meatballs need starters at the following positions: FB WR C G OT NT DT RDE OLB CB FS P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted March 27, 2008 Author Share Posted March 27, 2008 Update of Positional Needs: HB (Need a compliment to The Glow) FB WR (Have 2, need 2 more!) C G OT DT (Still room on the DL, we run a rotation!) RDE OLB CB (though a nickel/dime back is still needed!) FS P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 ESPN’s Clyde Writington Reports: 76ers Fry the Meatballs 31-17 Marseille 'Stade Velodrome', March 26, 2008: Marseille put a stop to their four game skid when the newly formed Stockholm Meatballs rode into town. Literally. The Meatballs, newly relocated from Eindhoven, arrived on horseback. New team owner Fat Daddy Ca$h thought the symbolic ride from Stockholm to the south of France would be a fitting way to usher in a new era in the Football crazed city of Stockholm. “To have our players ride in on horses,” Mr. Ca$h said before leaving, “would be like watching the Vikings dismount from their ships before they pillaged a small coastal town. Truly a magnificent sight.” Yet, the eccentric team owner failed to calculate how the 3,000km horseback ride would affect team morale. “My ass hurts. And before you ask, I like the ladies,” stated Meatball DE riCan Havoc once he dismounted his steed at the fifty yard line. Rookie QB Tyrone Slothrop was less concerned about chaffing and more concerned about the team’s accommodations during the trek, “Mr. Cash wanted us to feel like true warriors, so we slept outside during the trip. In the dirt and snow. Thankfully he supplied us with plenty of grog to keep us hydrated.” This evidently was true as Meatballs’ starting LT Big Poppa Scrilla sat down on the forty yard line during the middle of the second quarter to drunk dial his ex girlfriend. The ramifications of the journey continued to show on the field as the Meatballs’ D allowed the 76ers to march down the field at will, scoring three TDs in the first three quarters. Marseille RB Lewis Ibarra was not surprised at the Meatballs lack of defense. “Guys were talking, man. I heard they ran out of food in the Alps so they ate their middle linebacker” Ibarra said. In his post game presser, Ca$h retorted, “It’s called taking one for the team.” Cash then chucked his half full bottle of Crystal at Chris Berman and stormed off the podium. Despite the hardships they faced on their journey, some of the Meatballs came to play. Slothrop was steady in his first professional start, throwing for over 200 yards and a touchdown. His favorite target was fellow rookie Willie Banks who turned in an electric 9 catch, 128 yard, 1 TD performance. Equally impressive was rookie kicker Dick Mickamayer who drilled a 33 yard FG and 2 extra points despite having several toes amputated due to frostbite on the journey. “It’s amazing at how much more accuracy I have now,” he told reporters after the game. After the game, the Meatballs were seen boarding buses and not mounting horses. Fat Daddy Cash explained, “I’m a showman. I’m trying to put on the best possible show for the fans. Obviously we didn’t do that today. We’re not afraid to admit when we’re wrong and change tactics.” No one’s sure what’s next for the Meatballs as they venture to Stockholm for their first home game in the new Meatball Pan Stadium. But as Cash said before boarding the team bus one thing is for certain, “We might not be the best team, but dammit we’re the most fun.” ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fat Daddy Cash announced open tryouts for the Meatballs for the next 40 hours. The Meatballs need starters at the following positions: FB WR C G OT NT DT RDE OLB CB FS P Sweet. If only the GM/Owner/Coach of this team were as good at their jobs, as the PR flack is at his. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted March 27, 2008 Author Share Posted March 27, 2008 Sweet. If only the GM/Owner/Coach of this team were as good at their jobs, as the PR flack is at his. Fat Daddy Cash is getting there. He's just got to learn to put the team before the 8balls and hookers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booster4324 Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Fat Daddy Cash is getting there. He's just got to learn to put the team before the 8balls and hookers. If I ever get a chance to play, I will sink a bit of money in to be on your team for that story alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattyT Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 With Smash Hammerstein's impending release from Pentonville Prison (45 minutes before the game), he is looking forward to tearing some heads off and crapping down some necks playing a competitive, yet sportsmanlike contest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted March 27, 2008 Author Share Posted March 27, 2008 With Smash Hammersmith's impending release from Pentonville Prison (45 minutes before the game), he is looking forward to tearing some heads off and crapping down some necks playing a competitive, yet sportsmanlike contest. FDC knows how to find motivated players. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted March 27, 2008 Author Share Posted March 27, 2008 The Meatballs began the morning by welcoming four new players to the fold. Rumors are they arrived by way of Zeplin. TE Brick Esshaus TE Greg Harris FS Pico De Gailo OG Bucky Bundles Update of Positional Needs: HB (Need a compliment to The Glow) FB WR (Have 2, need 2 more!) C G OT DT (Still room on the DL, we run a rotation!) RDE OLB CB (though a nickel/dime back is still needed!) FS P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Miner Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Hey, if you have guys on the team, look to see if you can level them up. A few extra skill points might be just what the Meatballs need to ensure a rise from the league cellar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted March 27, 2008 Author Share Posted March 27, 2008 Hey, if you have guys on the team, look to see if you can level them up. A few extra skill points might be just what the Meatballs need to ensure a rise from the league cellar. Yes, and be sure to all buy and WEAR your equipment. An added skill point per piece! Plus 6 if you purchase custom equipment. And We still need a OG and C to make our game plan for this week work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattyT Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 And We still need a OG and C to make our game plan for this week work! I'm on it. Give me 10 min. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted March 27, 2008 Author Share Posted March 27, 2008 I'm on it. Give me 10 min. Sweet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattyT Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Sweet! Chubbs Peterson (G) and Snot Dangler ( C ) ready for action. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted March 27, 2008 Author Share Posted March 27, 2008 Chubbs Peterson (G) and Snot Dangler ( C ) ready for action. Cool! Offer sent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevbeau Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Created a DE...Wanted to do a DT, but oh well. If you have room for him it's......Gut Maximus! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted March 27, 2008 Author Share Posted March 27, 2008 Created a DE...Wanted to do a DT, but oh well. If you have room for him it's......Gut Maximus! Sure do ... FDC has sent an offer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted March 27, 2008 Author Share Posted March 27, 2008 The Meatballs remained busy this morning and welcomed three more players to the fold: C Snot Dangler OG Chubbs Peterson DE Gut Maximus All three are expected to be instant starters and contributers to the team's upcoming game. Update of Positional Needs: HB (Need a compliment to The Glow) FB WR (Have 2, need 2 more!) C G OT DT (Still room on the DL, we run a rotation!) RDE OLB CB (though a nickel/dime back is still needed!) FS P The team is still looking for a starting FB, OLB and Punter. As well as a nickel back, and slot WR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Miner Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Ok, Captain Krunch would like to fill out the OLB position. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosmicBills Posted March 27, 2008 Author Share Posted March 27, 2008 Ok, Captain Krunch would like to fill out the OLB position. Excellent ... your agent's phone just rang. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Miner Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 I can't bear to see the FB get replaced. What a great computer name: Houstan Wang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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