Arkady Renko Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 (edited) Sun 09/10 @ New England Patriots CBS 1:00 PM Bills lose after leading by 14 in the 4thQ (0-1) Sun 09/17 @ Miami Dolphins CBS 1:00 PM Miami beats the Bills 17-3 as the Bills wilt in the summer heat (0-2) Sun 09/24 NEW YORK JETS CBS 1:00 PM Bills hold on to an early lead and win. Unfortunately, my fiancee leaves me for another man. (1-2). Sun 10/01 MINNESOTA VIKINGS FOX 1:00 PM Bills make it two in a row, beating the Vikes on a late TD drive. The depression of losing the love of my life makes me stop leaving my apartment and stop going to the law school. (2-2) Sun 10/8 @ Chicago Bears CBS 1:00 PM Bears beat the Bills 16-13. Also, my dog dies (2-3). Sun 10/15 @ Detroit Lions CBS 1:00 PM The Bills have the best game of the year so far, winning by two touchdowns. (3-3) Sun 10/22 NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS CBS 1:00 PM The Bills lose again to the Patriots, but close until the 4th quarter. It also mirrors my family life as my new found alcoholism drives all those I love away. (3-4) Sun 11/05 GREEN BAY PACKERS FOX 1:00 PM Bills rebound well from the Patriots loss and beat the Packers soundly. My finances look they will be beaten soundly as I am fired from my part-time job for tardiness. (4-4) Sun 11/12 @ Indianapolis Colts CBS 1:00 PM The Bills again can't keep a streak going. I, however, can as I am able to shower for two straight days. (4-5) Sun 11/19 @ Houston Texans CBS 1:00 PM Bills lose a stunner in Houston. I am stunned by a lawsuit from a fender bender. (4-6) Sun 11/26 JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS CBS 1:00 PM Bills respond well to the losing streak and pull off an upset. If only that infection would respond to my antibiotics.... (5-6) Sun 12/3 SAN DIEGO CHARGERS CBS 1:00 PM Philip Rivers' has trouble with the Bills defense and the Bills WIN a low-scoring affair. I learn that my fiancee was having an affair for the past two years before she left me. (6-6) Sun 12/10 @ New York Jets CBS 1:00 PM Buffalo will be hungry for a victory and the Jets won't even know who their starting QB is. Hungry for some meaning in my life, I drop out of law school after blowing the semester's tuition. W (7-6) Sun 12/17 MIAMI DOLPHINS CBS 1:00 PM The Bills dominate the Dolphins and the Bills rout them again in the snow. Unfortunately, depression dominates my life and I have trouble finding anyone to hire me. (8-6) Sun 12/24 TENNESSEE TITANS CBS 1:00 PM Bills lose a close one. (8-7) Sun 12/31 @ Baltimore Ravens CBS 1:00 PM Eliminated from the playoffs the week before, the Bills come out flat and lose. I also come out flat the first time I am with a woman since my fiancee left me. (8-8) Not a bad season for the Bills, I think. Edited July 17, 2006 by JohnnyB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajzepp Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Neurotic, yet entertaining! Well done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Sun 09/10 @ New England Patriots CBS 1:00 PM Bills lose after leading by 14 in the 4thQ (0-1) Sun 09/17 @ Miami Dolphins CBS 1:00 PM Miami beats the Bills 17-3 as the Bills wilt in the summer heat (0-2) Sun 09/24 NEW YORK JETS CBS 1:00 PM Bills hold on to an early lead and win. Unfortunately, my fiancee leaves me for another man. (1-2). Sun 10/01 MINNESOTA VIKINGS FOX 1:00 PM Bills make it two in a row, beating the Vikes on a late TD drive. The depression of losing the love of my life makes me stop leaving my apartment and stop going to the law school. (2-2) Sun 10/8 @ Chicago Bears CBS 1:00 PM Bears beat the Bills 16-13. Also, my dog dies (2-3). Sun 10/15 @ Detroit Lions CBS 1:00 PM The Bills have the best game of the year so far, winning by two touchdowns. (3-3) Sun 10/22 NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS CBS 1:00 PM The Bills lose again to the Patriots, but close until the 4th quarter. It also mirrors my family life as my new found alcoholism drives all those I love away. (3-4) Sun 11/05 GREEN BAY PACKERS FOX 1:00 PM Bills rebound well from the Patriots loss and beat the Packers soundly. My finances look they will be beaten soundly as I am fired from my part-time job for tardiness. (4-4) Sun 11/12 @ Indianapolis Colts CBS 1:00 PM The Bills again can't keep a streak going. I, however, can as I am able to shower for two straight days. (4-5) Sun 11/19 @ Houston Texans CBS 1:00 PM Bills lose a stunner in Houston. I am stunned by a lawsuit from a fender bender. (4-6) Sun 11/26 JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS CBS 1:00 PM Bills respond well to the losing streak and pull off an upset. If only that infection would respond to my antibiotics.... (5-6) Sun 12/3 SAN DIEGO CHARGERS CBS 1:00 PM Philip Rivers' has trouble with the Bills defense and the Bills lose a low-scoring affair. I learn that my fiancee was having an affair for the past two years before she left me. (6-6) Sun 12/10 @ New York Jets CBS 1:00 PM Buffalo will be hungry for a victory and the Jets won't even know who their starting QB is. Hungry for some meaning in my life, I drop out of law school after blowing the semester's tuition. W (7-6) Sun 12/17 MIAMI DOLPHINS CBS 1:00 PM The Bills dominate the Dolphins and the Bills rout them again in the snow. Unfortunately, depression dominates my life and I have trouble finding anyone to hire me. (8-6) Sun 12/24 TENNESSEE TITANS CBS 1:00 PM Bills lose a close one. (8-7) Sun 12/31 @ Baltimore Ravens CBS 1:00 PM Eliminated from the playoffs the week before, the Bills come out flat and lose. I also come out flat the first time I am with a woman since my fiancee left me. (8-8) Not a bad season for the Bills, I think. 724109[/snapback] One quibble: You have them going from 5-6 to 6-6 after "losing a close one" to the Chargers. After adjusting for that error, they finish 7-9. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Senator Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 I am thinking more along the line of 19 and 0! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. Rich Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 In JohnnyB's scenario, the Bills would go 3-2 in the games I attend this year. Wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 sorry about your dog . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phlegm Alley Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 If the Bills success mirrored your personal success, I think we are going to be in for a long year. And you might jump off a bridge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExWNYer Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Sun 09/24 NEW YORK JETS CBS 1:00 PM Bills hold on to an early lead and win. Unfortunately, my fiancee leaves me for another man. (1-2). Sun 10/01 MINNESOTA VIKINGS FOX 1:00 PM Bills make it two in a row, beating the Vikes on a late TD drive. The depression of losing the love of my life makes me stop leaving my apartment and stop going to the law school. (2-2) I definitely agree with two of these: 1) Starting in 1988 the Bills are 16-3 for my "annual pilgrimage" (two games in both '98 & '01). I coming up for the Minnesota game. Chalk it up. 2) Currently, Vegas has your fiancee leaving you at 2-1. I'm in for a grand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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