Chef Jim Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 Man damn, some of you guys are fuggin pigs man. Carry the cum from the bed to toilet? I puked a little in my mouth when I read that. T_R 665675[/snapback] Did you spit it out, or did you swallow it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dean Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 #14 A guy takes his cat to the vet and says, "Doc, I think my cat is turning gay?" The vet is, naturally, confused, so he asks the guy, "Why do you think your cat is turning gay?" "Well, doc, lately, when I fu#k him, he kinda relaxes." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buftex Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 Q:How do you get a hippy- chick pregnant? A: C*m on her feet, let the flys do the rest! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted April 20, 2006 Author Share Posted April 20, 2006 12. For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces. "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them. Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dib Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Little girl goes to the barber, as she is getting her hair cut she is eating a twinkie. Barber says "You're going to get hair on your twinkie." The little girl replies: "Yep and I'm gonna get breasts too." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bartshan-83 Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 10. A grandpa and grandson were fishing one day. The grandpa takes out a cigar and lights up. "Grandpa," asks the boy, "can I have some of your cigar?" The Grandpa replies "Can you touch your @sshole with your penis?" "No" says the boy. "Well" says Grandpa, "then you arent old enough yet". Later the grandfather takes a beer out of his cooler. "Grandpa," asks the boy, "can I have some of your beer?" Again the grandpa replies, "Can you touch your @sshole with your penis?" "No," says the boy. "Well" says grandpa, "then you arent old enough yet." Two hours later the boy is hungry and takes out a bag of cookies. Grandpa looks at the cookies and says, "boy those cookies look so good, can I have some?" The boy asks "can you touch your @sshole with your penis?" "I certainly can!" boasts the grandpa. The boy replies "Well then go f*ck yourself, these are MY cookies!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bartshan-83 Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 9. -How do you fit Roseanne into a size 2? -You take the 'T' out of 'FAT' and the 'F' out of 'WAY'.... oldie but a goodie... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevbeau Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 8.) A plane full of diplomats is flying over the Atlantic Coean when the pilot comes over the intercom to explain that they are having engine trouble and have to lighten the load on the plane. After throwing everything possible out, the plane still weighs too much and the pilots ask that the diplomats draw straws and the short straws have to jump (there are no parachutes). Well the English will have none of that, they all stand up, shout "God save the Queen,"...and all jump out. Not to be outdone, the French all stand up, shout "Viva La France,"...and all jump out. Trully inspired, the Americans all stand up, shout "Remember the Alamo," and threw out all the Mexicans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billsfanone Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 A homo goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says, "I am not going to beat around the bush, you have AIDS." The homo is devastated. "Doctor, what can I do?" The doctor says, "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage, a plate of baked beans, 20 un-peeled carrots covered in tomato salsa, 10 jalapeno peppers, 5 corn-on-the- cobs, 40 walnuts and peanuts, a box of branflakes, and I want you to wash it down with a gallon of prune juice." "Will that cure me?" asks the homo hopefully. "No," replies the doctor, "but it will teach you what your butthole is really for." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevbeau Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 7.) An Englishman and American are taking a leak next to each other in a public restroom. Both finish at the same time and the Englishman goes to the sink while the American walks out of the restroom. Trully apalled, the Englishman hurries after the American to tell him how disgusted he is.."Sir, we English observe proper manners and etiquette and always wash our hands after using the lavatory." The American looks at the Englishman and replies "That's great, but we Americans don't piss on our hands." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Webster Guy Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 6. What do Len Bias and a rose have in common? Three days after you pick em, they die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ACor58 Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 5. I guy and his buddy are playing golf when he shanks his ball into the woods down a rivine. He walks down to take his next shot and next to his ball he sees a skeleton holding an eight iron. He then yells up to his buddy "You better toss me a Seven Iron, there is not way I am getting out of here with an eight." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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