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The Babylon Bee, America's Newspaper


3rdnlng

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The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of Donald Trump's debate demands:

  1. Benny Hill music must be played whenever Biden wanders around the stage: His aimless shuffling will be much more entertaining to the viewing audience set to "Yakety Sax."
  2. Moderators have to be smoking hot: Not just attractive. They have to be hot. Smoking hot. At least a 9 or a 10. Or even better than 10, maybe. Debates are better with hot moderators. I can't look at a dog for 3 hours. That would be terrible.
  3. Catering provided by McDonald's: Big Macs and Diet Cokes during every commercial break.
  4. Lightning round: Featuring a wheel to be spun for prizes, including Trump Steaks, Trump sneakers, and Trump NFTs.
  5. Sad trombone riff plays following every Biden answer: Wah-wah-wahhhhh!
  6. Whenever Trump drops a savage diss, sunglasses lower from the ceiling and the words "Thug Life" appear onscreen: Don't worry, Biden won't even know it's happening.
  7. The loser gets slimed: It's time to bring the genius of Nickelodeon to presidential debates.
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On 5/12/2024 at 11:00 PM, B-Man said:

 

 

 

 

 

That is actually funny

15 hours ago, B-Man said:

 

 

 

The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of Donald Trump's debate demands:

  1. Benny Hill music must be played whenever Biden wanders around the stage: His aimless shuffling will be much more entertaining to the viewing audience set to "Yakety Sax."
  2. Moderators have to be smoking hot: Not just attractive. They have to be hot. Smoking hot. At least a 9 or a 10. Or even better than 10, maybe. Debates are better with hot moderators. I can't look at a dog for 3 hours. That would be terrible.
  3. Catering provided by McDonald's: Big Macs and Diet Cokes during every commercial break.
  4. Lightning round: Featuring a wheel to be spun for prizes, including Trump Steaks, Trump sneakers, and Trump NFTs.
  5. Sad trombone riff plays following every Biden answer: Wah-wah-wahhhhh!
  6. Whenever Trump drops a savage diss, sunglasses lower from the ceiling and the words "Thug Life" appear onscreen: Don't worry, Biden won't even know it's happening.
  7. The loser gets slimed: It's time to bring the genius of Nickelodeon to presidential debates.

Ya, so he can complain how all seven were unfair against him because they asked him questions. What a D-Bag

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