ComradeKayAdams

Great post! I especially like your analogy linking flood disaster policy with gun control policy. MAGA’s indignation with Adam Zygus has been, dare I say, “cartoonish.” Rational people should be far more angry with public policy failures enabling these disasters than with political cartoons whose entire purpose, essentially, is to expose said policy failures in a provocative (and sometimes insensitive) manner. As you implied, the cartoonish indignation serves as a political strategy to run out the clock on a contentious issue until some other news headline captures the public’s attention. The lachrymose “too soon, but thoughts and prayers in the meantime” crowd needs to be reminded that expeditiously identifying and addressing causes of disasters saves lives from impending new disasters. Let’s summarize these policy failures. MAGA wants to point out that we can’t make a direct connection between the central Texas floods and anthropogenic climate change. They also want to argue that recent DOGE cuts to personnel and equipment for NWS and NOAA have no direct connection with the poor flood preparedness (in Texas but also elsewhere in the country). I can agree with MAGA here on pedantic technical grounds, but the smoking gun for me is the state GOP’s repeated denials of flood alert systems for that particular flood plain region of Texas. Scientists had long been insisting upon the implementation of these comparatively inexpensive systems, but Texas GOP politicians rejected them because of foolish austerity measures plus associations with “liberal climate change ideology.” FEMA’s embarrassingly sluggish response hasn’t helped the situation, either. It comes down to this: right-wingers believe government is inherently incompetent and inefficient. Then when they get elected, they do everything to undermine government and reinforce said philosophy. Rinse and repeat. They want to return FEMA duties to the states, but states rarely have the budget to handle major environmental catastrophes (and obviously can’t print their own money and run large deficits). To no one’s surprise, many of these same troglodytes believe chemtrails caused these floods… At some point, the top 51% of the IQ pool needs to reclaim democracy from the bottom 49% of it. If you’re far too stupid for science and rational thought, at least respect the people who aren’t.

As a campaign volunteer for Zohran (a “Ma’am-dani,” if you will…hurray for early-morning neologism!!), I can say with 100% certainty that he’s not intending to seize the means of production from private NYC businesses. Adding one public grocery store in each borough doesn’t qualify as “seizing the means of production” LOL… One of his main campaign policies, in fact, is to trim excessive regulations and red tape that prevent small businesses from competing with large ones. This is a policy I’d think right-wing populists could support?? Even if Zohran were to perform a complete post-campaign heel turn, he’d still have to contend with the entirety of the state’s Democratic Party establishment that is deeply committed to neoliberalism. One of Zohran’s biggest expected challenges will be getting Hochul and her crony capitalist acolytes in Albany to agree to Zohran’s absurdly modest tax hikes on the NYC rich. Consider this post a “FWIW” rebuttal, BTW. TBH, I couldn’t care less what you guys think about Zohran’s campaign. I’m confident we’re going to hit the majority vote threshold in November, regardless of y’all’s online Boomerish histrionics. You brought up Venezuela, which is in no way an indictment of democratic socialism. The issues that have plagued their government since 1998 are not characteristic of any particular economic system: a macroeconomy insanely dependent on one commodity (oil), deeply entrenched corruption, a reckless monetary policy, reckless fiscal policies, and sustained Western imperialist sanctions. The Chavez/Maduro price control measures have more to do with dirigisme and stupidity than anything market socialists or economically literate DSA members would ever support. You also brought up Trump’s tariffs. Yes, I generally do support targeted tariffs meant to boost domestic manufacturing. No, I don’t support the particular tariff mess that this populist charlatan is implementing. Where are the accompanying collective bargaining laws or Keynesian stimulus packages to help make the return of good-paying manufacturing jobs a timely reality?? Spoiler alert: these jobs aren’t coming back under Trump. His tariff wars have been a giant buy-low, sell-high scheme for his corporate cronies. I blame neoliberalism because decades of macroeconomics research papers point to neoliberalism as the culprit for urban unaffordability. It has absolutely nothing to do with my perceived political tribalism. The economics research literature has been unambiguous in its revelation that we have been mired on the left side of Laffer’s curve all this time. How deep into the academic weeds are you willing to go on a pro football message board?? Look again at the nine cost-of-living factors I brought up in my previous post. By far the most consequential factor is wage growth, as a function of inflation and worker productivity. The next biggest factor has got to be health care costs, the leading cause of family bankruptcy in America. In what ways have progressive policies negatively impacted these two factors?! The issues of urban affordability and food deserts, here in NYC and elsewhere in America, predate and extend well beyond the era of COVID lockdowns and BLM riots. Once again, I’ll just reiterate here that I formulate economic opinions from economic data and not from political axioms. Also, I take umbrage with the notion that “free money” and “closing down businesses” were distinctly progressive policies at that time. It was conventional economic wisdom to provide financial stimulus so to prevent a far more dangerous DEFLATIONARY cycle, as a result of the collapse in consumer demand. It was conventional epidemiological wisdom to shut down NYC, in the face of an emergent pandemic, because NYC is a major transmission nexus and one of the most densely populated places in the world. You’re asking me to consider the employer side of the employer-employee relationship. I do, on occasion, when the situation warrants it. Those situations in this era of neoliberalism, however, are few and far between. I can’t help but laugh at the capitalists whining about their own incompetence navigating paid family/medical leaves in the year 2025… Your last paragraph is interesting to me because I actually find the strength of Zohran’s platform to be proposing simple things that have been done before, elsewhere across the world, with proven levels of success. But if novel and ambitious ideas are what you seek from the far left, contact your local DSA and tell them to advocate for market socialism: have some goods and services nationalized and government-run, but have most others commodified by worker cooperatives. We can start small and expand with time. Extant private businesses, in their traditional form, can be grandfathered into the new economy so that no “seizure” of the means of production is necessary! Yay!

They are “modest” policies in the sense that they are well-supported in the international macroeconomics research literature. The public grocery stores idea is Zohran’s only one that would be classified in Europe as an example of socialism. If you are so perturbed by the thought of government owning the means of production for 5 NYC grocery stores, then consider redirecting your ire towards your precious free markets that created the urban food desert conditions in the first place. “Laissez-faire” was a hyperbolic remark meant to characterize this post-1970’s era of neoliberalism. It would be perfectly reasonable to characterize the historical American economy as laissez-faire all the way up through the Gilded Age. Neoliberalism, for the record, is economically sub-optimal and leads to middle class degradation, working class immiseration, and massive political instability. Laissez-faire economics, for the record, is even worse and includes all the above plus outrageous human rights violations, widespread ecosystem destruction, and intolerably deep and lengthy busts in the natural boom-bust cycles. You’re not averse to hyperbole yourself, as evidenced by your Venezuela remark. Do you have even the slightest clue as to how authoritarian socialism in Venezuela came about, or why socialism specifically failed in that country?? How about a step-by-step outline of the political process in which a city mayor can go from 5 public grocery stores to the complete seizure of the means of production for every bodega (and every private business, in general) in every borough?? Your attacks are all over the place. First, clarify the problem. We are discussing urban affordability for lower and middle classes, which comes down to a discussion of wages versus cost of living (food, housing, transportation, utilities, education, health care) and other economic subtractions (various forms of taxation, inflationary effects). Next, figure out the approximate allocation of responsibility and blame. Surely you understand how local politicians are limited in the extent that they can affect the aforementioned economic factors, compared to state and national politicians? Do you also understand how little political power the actual far left has and has historically had, relative to the establishment left and to right-wingers? Recall one of the most basic definitions of the far left: no acceptance of corporate/big-money campaign donations. NYC hasn’t had a far-left mayor in the ideological vicinity of Zohran since La Guardia (though de Blasio admittedly did a few good things that were progressive). Okay, so NOW you can begin to fairly assess the culpability of local far-left politicians with regard to the aforementioned economic factors. I’m a reasonable person and could concede frivolous far-left regulations and wasteful far-left spending here and there, but it would be absolutely LAUGHABLE to blame the big-ticket items (especially wage growth and health care expenditures) on far-left politicians and not neoliberal ones! It’s genuinely shocking to see the lengths you PPP’ers go to defend corporate oligarchical empowerment. You’re okay with your tax dollars going to low-wage workers when they have to subsist on food stamps, yet you scream “Communism!” at the thought of raising taxes proportionately on the billionaires who won’t pay these low-wage workers higher wages…

Reagan conservatism is not yet dead, unfortunately. It merely metamorphosized and MAGA metastasized to other American demographics. I do believe, however, that the meteoric rise of Zohran Mamdani’s campaign is a harbinger of Reaganism’s ultimate fate: an expiration date inextricably linked with the physical health of the Boomery MAGA crowd obstinately peddling it. The essence of Zohran’s campaign is convincing NYC’s working class that almost half a century of policies promoting upward wealth redistribution is not in their own best interests. A longstanding economic climate of trickle-down economics, dangerous deregulatory practices, anti-union laws, dismantlement of the social safety net, and the like has created the miasma of urban unaffordability. A democratic socialist would (rightly) call this “wealth theft.” Zohran’s plans to help reverse that redistributive trend (fare-free city buses, 5 government-run grocery stores, $30 by ’30 minimum wage increases, public assistance for childcare, circumstantial rent freezes and public housing options, etc.) are incredibly mild and not remotely commensurate with the national outrage. Not even 11 full days following the decisive primary victory, the collective oppositional response to Zohran’s very modest intrusions into laissez-faire economics has been both pathetic and predictable. Oh, let’s review the myriad ways in which this flustered cohort of right-wingers and establishments lefties are flailing… 1. 1950’s McCarthyism redux: Raising the marginal tax rate a couple percentage points for the highest income bracket, apparently, is some sort of clarion call to the resurrected corpses of Vladimir Lenin and Joseph Stalin. 2. 2000’s Islamophobia redux: Jihad! Intifada! Scary Arabic words are scary and Arabic! 3. Anti-Zionism = anti-Semitism conflations: The desperation of discourse has so degraded to the point that Zionists are now using “anti-colonialists” as a slur LOL… 4. Anti-immigrant rhetoric: This is where the white MAGA nationalists really expose themselves. The bulk of Zohran’s support is actually coming from white people, and the “dangerously high” percentage of foreign-born NYC’ers isn’t any different than it was a century ago when immigrants were predominantly European (~35-40%). 5. Freeloader accusations: Voters in support of Zohran are mostly found among the higher economic brackets, minus the sociopathic corporate CEO’s and the downtown Gordon Gekko degenerates. Nevertheless, market-based counters to all the “whining” about costs of living and stagnant socioeconomic mobility have so far come in the form of recommendations to stop being so lazy and instead add on night shifts at Walmart and what not…because nothing screams “effective campaigning” quite like trivializing the concerns of the voters… 6. Reverse ageism: The relative youth of Zohran’s voters is being held against his campaign. This means nothing to me, personally, because I value wisdom and not necessarily age. In fact, I have seen little evidence supporting the adage that wisdom accompanies age. See: middle-aged and Boomery MAGA denizens of this forum. 7. Character assassination: Any attempts at questioning Zohran’s integrity are laughable, really, when you juxtapose his with that of his opponent, Eric Adams. 8. Economic illiteracy accusations: Whatever. I scoff at right-wingers and neoliberal dullards who slavishly follow axiomatic economics to the exclusion of data-driven economics. Kay Adams Fun Fact: understanding the practical importance of saving and investing in life has ZERO relevance to understanding the academic field of macroeconomics. 9. Random misogyny: Oh noes!! The childless yuppy cat lady Zohrandinistas are destroying the city and the country! Eeek!!! El. Oh. El. Not. A. F*ck. We. Have. To. Give. In the spirit of EmRata, I shall order my “Hot Girls for Zohran” t-shirt, wear it in the form of a crop top to show off my flat summer tummy, and post it on Instagram so that all the Strong Island finance bros can respond and cry about the downfall of Western civilization.

Eric Adams is probably the best option of the three, but I don’t think he can beat Zohran with Cuomo and Sliwa still in the race. He’ll also need to build up a semi-competitive ground game. You can’t just scream “Socialist! Jihadist! Communist! Anti-Semite!” from afar and expect anyone outside the PPP MAGA nursing home demographic to take you seriously. My guess is that the race will come down to the working-class minority neighborhoods, and so I really like Team Zohran’s odds. He’s refined the AOC 2018 playbook that enabled her to take down Joe Crowley. Oh, and I’m now hearing rumors of corporate donors pressuring Cuomo to stay out of the general election. So the establishment Dem fear is both palpable and justified, in both NYC and throughout the rest of the country. Trumpian and Israeli politics are absolutely factoring into these political dynamics, but demographic breakdowns in the NYC mayoral race polling data suggest more fundamental economic fissures in play…fissures that were equally emergent in the polling data during the 2016 and 2020 Bernie primaries.

Believe it or not, he’s not stridently political like I am and doesn’t normally discuss politics with me over the phone. We talk a lot more about the respective states of the Bills (yay!) and Sabres (ugh!). Having said that, I can tell you that my dad remains a long-time two-state solution guy and only very recently began to acknowledge the genocide in Gaza (sometime around April of this year). He was especially close to his Jewish maternal grandfather, which I personally believe has compromised his ability to rationally assess the present situation. I’ve been a one-stater (a.k.a. an advocate for the peaceful dissolution of a Jewish supremacist ethnostate) for the past two years, as you know, and have called out the genocide and the far-right Greater Israel project since they bombed the first Gazan hospital (November 2023?). Now…let’s get to your pop quiz… << pulls out red pen >> << shakes head disapprovingly >> For starters, Leh-nerd, it is not a good strategy to question the writing “efficiency” of your quiz grader. What could be more “efficient” than a simple one-question math quiz to assess the health of a multi-year forum friendship?? Looking over your answer, you clearly did not take the quiz very seriously… Ugh, let’s just get to the answer key… KAY’S OFFICIAL POP QUIZ ANSWER KEY: STEP 1: Note the Cauchy red herring! Your clue that mathematical mischief is afoot! Why the heck would you need to integrate over the complex number plane, Leh-nerd?? This is a first-grade math problem, dude. STEP 2: Note the extraneous sartorial information provided. I would NEVER be caught in public wearing a frumpy Hillary Clinton warmonger pantsuit. A mathematical possibility of precisely 0%. You’re supposed to know that about me, Leh-nerd…the quiz raison d’etre… STEP 3: 2 * 4.5 = 2 * (9/2) = 9 blazer dresses. Put away your Boomery slide rule/abacus/sundial, Leh-nerd, and focus. STEP 4: 9 / 1.8 = 9 / (9/5) = 5 skirt suits. OH MY GOD, Leh-nerd. I’m not asking you to solve a Millennium Prize Problem, bruh. Stop whining… STEP 5: 9 + 5 + 2 = 16 distinct formal business outfits. 16 > 10. Take off your socks, Leh-nerd, if you need help counting higher than 10. STEP 6: 16 / 5 = 3.2 weeks (also acceptable answer: a truncation to 3 weeks). QED,L. Quod. Effin.’ Demonstrandum. Leh-nerd. Hmmm…but your remark about my complexion was surprisingly on point! How astute! Very light colors DO work well with the grossly pale white hue that I maintain for almost the entire year. Also acceptable color alternative: anything red to match the natural facial blush from the summer heat. Wow! You passed, Leh-nerd! Who knew that a lifetime of totally fu*king around in math class chasing floozies would somehow pay off for you in the biggest test of your life?? Our forum friendship is saved! Yay! << steps forward to hug Leh-nerd >> << trips over discarded pile of 4 frumpy Hillary Clinton warmonger pantsuits >> << extended arms create a punching motion that strikes Leh-nerd in the face >> << Leh-nerd too unconscious to consciously note the situational irony >> EDIT: Spelling mistake: “assess,” not “access.”

Cuomo may run as an independent in the general election, however, which would divide the anti-Zohran vote between him and Eric Adams (independent) and Curtis Sliwa (Republican). This reminds me of the 2021 Buffalo mayoral race in which Byron Brown defeated India Walton in the general election as a write-in candidate. I’m also reminded of the 2020 Democratic primaries in which all the centrists consolidated under Biden after Bernie won in Nevada. Note the strategic lesson here… Nevertheless, I’m pleasantly surprised with last night’s results (shout-out to Staten Island…WTF LOL) and now feel that Zohran’s campaign has potential to grow to an indomitable electoral majority by November 4. Having recently canvassed for Zohran in Manhattan and Brooklyn and The Bronx, I can say that we have plenty of room for growth with working-class minority communities. Lots of people have still never heard of Zohran, but they do recognize the Cuomo name. Zohran has 4 full months now to work his Obama-like charisma and keep championing his economic message with implacable focus. The weather here is hot, my friends, and so is Zohran. The thirst for water is high, my comrades, and so is the demand for pragmatic solutions to economic market failures under late-stage neoliberalism.

The spirit of the Constitution is such that the legislative branch limits the unilateral power of the executive branch to start wars. It is emphasized in the War Powers Clause and later reinforced in the 1973 War Powers Resolution. BOTH political sides repeatedly ignoring this Constitutional intention since WW2 has dangerously emboldened American imperialism. The hyperbolic Canada remark was an obvious reductio ad absurdum meant to point out MAGA hypocrisy. Perhaps it would have been more persuasive for me to just substitute Canada with Iran. If senile Joe Biden had suddenly bombed Iran in the same manner as Trump, we all know exactly how MAGA would have responded. No one in my family would follow me to Scandinavia, bruh... I’m going to stay in the United States, I’m going to vote for Zohran today, and I’m going to vote for AOC as President in 2028. Deal with it. According to Papa Adamski: 2 to 3 years with a concerted effort. His assessment is based on the public IAEA reports after JCPOA but before Israel and the U.S. started bombing Iran. According to him, the above-ground activity needed for properly building nuclear weapons would have been far too conspicuous to evade the IAEA to the level that Bibi and Trump claim happened. He emphasized the plutonium processing much more so than the uranium enrichment and the missile deployment technology. Any additional sci/tech questions for Papa Adamski? I’d be happy to ask him! Regarding pantsuits: oh you dare lots, indeed! POP QUIZ TIME FOR LEH-NERD SKIN-ERD: The ratio of Kay’s blazer dresses to chic pantsuits is known to be 4.5, and the ratio of Kay’s blazer dresses to skirt suits is 1.8. Kay owns 2 chic pantsuits. If Kay is suddenly gifted 4 frumpy Hillary Clinton-esque pantsuits, how many weeks can Kay now go wearing a unique formal business outfit? You may or may not need to recall Cauchy’s Integral Theorem for this: the line integral over a closed contour C for w(z)*dz = 0. If you get this question correct, I will press a gold star sticker onto your forehead. If not, you will see gold star stickers circling above your forehead (i.e., I shall punch you in the face, bruh). High-stakes pressure elevates cognitive performance, Leh-nerd…

Whose opinions I would trust, you ask? Select IAEA representatives plus Congressional members of national security and intelligence committees (of all political stripes: left and right, populist and establishment). We should be following Constitution-esque protocols when dealing with imminent nuclear threats. Would you have been comfortable with a senile Joe Biden whimsically and unilaterally bombing, say, Canada over unsubstantiated rumors of imminent nuclear annihilation? Why am I still living here in the United States, you ask?? LOL…um, family and friends, career and culture, the melting pot ethos, a lifetime of cherished memories, the vast natural geographic beauty, representative democracy, the Bill of Rights, the Constitutional separation of powers, etc… What’s wrong with me using the political process to change public policy? Didn’t you try to do the same last November? You are perfectly free to consider yourself an arbiter of what’s “American” and what’s not. Go ahead and declare imperialism and trickle-down economics “American,” while declaring universal health care and nationalized land/natural resources “un-American.” Just remember that at previous points in American history, ideas like slavery and Jim Crow and miscegenation and Gilded Age capitalism and legalized misogyny and the ethnic cleansing of Native Americans were considered sclerotic American values. Yes, your post is a bit opaque to me, but I THINK I’m following: you’re telling me that there are clear standards for defining “imminent” nuclear emergencies like this one, and that you personally know of evidence existing that shows Iran crossed this “imminence” threshold? I’m honestly in no position to tell you that you are incorrect. I’m a civilian biomed device engineer who took one college elective course in intro nuclear science/engineering (random shout-out to the Lamarsh textbook…I still have it in my bookshelf!). All I can tell you, anecdotally, is that my Dad is a solid-state materials physicist and a mild-mannered political centrist. His technical nuclear background is a lot better than mine, and he has DARPA funding under his belt. We talked about this exact topic for a few minutes last night, and he seems to think that the technological likelihood of Iran being able to strike Israel (let alone the U.S.) with nuclear weapons this calendar year is absurd. I feel like we’re going around in tautological circles at this point? Absent new nuclear intelligence information that is made publicly available, let’s agree to disagree. I envisage scenarios in which we’re aligned with what the proper course of action should have been. P.S. My formal business wardrobe ratio of blazer dresses to CHIC pantsuits is officially 4.5. FOUR POINT FIVE. The implication that I might ever wear a frumpy Hillary Clinton warmonger pantsuit was completely out of line. You’re out of your element, Leh-ny, and how dare you.

Agreed! And let’s also reiterate the TRUE origins of this Iran-Israel-U.S. conflict, lest the PPP warmongers try to obfuscate otherwise: the 1953 coup in Iran and the 1948 Nakba. I’m anti-American Empire, not pro-Iran. I am in favor of national sovereignty and human rights while against unnecessary wars and collective punishment. My first instinct of distrusting government claims of WMD’s is a consequence of growing up in the post-9/11 era. What you deem to be a sign of mental illness is what I consider to be a sign of basic intelligence. No, I don’t believe we will see the evidence in under 10 years or ever. As a concerned American citizen, it’s not that I need the specific intelligence made public to me. I just need various trusted third parties to see the evidence in private and then to publicly confirm that the claims are legitimate. I’m a girl, actually, but thank you for your kind words! You’re a good poster, too. This forum could use more people like yourself who can sustain political discussions and debate. Also: I’m a social democrat and not a communist or even a socialist, but don’t expect BillsFanNC to ever understand the distinction. The “comrade” in my name is a tongue-in-cheek thing. P.S. A friend of Muppy is a friend of Commie Kay! I hear ya, but I’m just super pessimistic that the current Iranian regime can be ousted without American boots on the ground. Moreover, I’m far from confident that a replacement regime would be any better for the world or for Iranians. Love ya, Mups! << hugs Muppy >> << punches Leh-nerd because…reasons >> “Imminent” = on the order of days or weeks or months, not a year or longer. There has been ZERO evidence suggesting the danger was imminent. Trump and Netanyahu opted out of diplomacy way too soon for, I believe, reasons that I’ve already articulated. You’re presenting a fork-in-the-road situation as if both choices are of approximately equal caliber in rationale. What happened to the Leh-nerd who is uber-skeptical of government power, the establishment, the deep state, and what not?? You seem to be suspending a lot of your innate distrust when it comes to this particular dilemma.

Brilliant retort! Super profound! Much logic! Many insight! Yes, a guess from a random online MAGA Carolina bumpkin carries the same approximate weight as an estimate from a peer-reviewed publication in the world’s most prestigious medical journal. And yes, Trump certainly did a lot to help dispel that mean-spirited TACO label. Proving people wrong who say mean things about you is the most important component of foreign policy. Careful, measured analyses of the long-term consequences of one’s actions is for soy boys, women, and the LGBTQ+. MANLY MEN bomb sh!t and scream, “America! F*ck yeah!” in any nearby faces of brown-skinned people with funny-sounding names. I am STILL WAITING, by the way, for any evidence that Iran’s nuclear program posed an IMMINENT threat to Israel and the United States. Perhaps one of you warmongering PPP’ers, replete with MIC stocks but totally devoid of the physical fitness to serve in battle, will step up to the plate in this regard??

Fine, I’ll engage you in your obvious deflective pedantry. There is no objective ranking of human rights crises, but why I think calling the Gaza genocide the worst “since the Holocaust” is not hyperbolic: 1. 50-60k deaths is a horrific undercount. The Gaza Health Ministry lost the ability to officially count its dead long ago. The Lancet estimated almost 200k last summer, when you include people still buried under the rubble plus all the indirect deaths. 2. It is ongoing and only getting worse with the impacts of malnutrition on starving children. 3. It is being carried out by a First World country and funded by another one. 4. It is occurring in the age of the internet and digital mass media. 5. From a historical perspective, it probably marks the beginning of the end of Zionism. 6. From a historical perspective, it probably marks the end of the American Empire as a respected moral figure on the international stage.

Your first paragraph: Sure, but Iran was reasonable to not be compliant after being compliant. That’s what tends to happen when one side suddenly reneges on a deal! The IAEA works for the countries of the United Nations, so it is incumbent on those countries to make sure a more stringent JCPOA v2.0 is composed. Your second paragraph: Correct, I was not arguing in favor of any covert CIA government nonsense! Fully open channels of communication, like what we have with other countries of the West, must be part of any potential treaty with Iran. The Iranian theocrats are just going to have to deal with my ridiculously chic outfits in my Instagram photos. Your third paragraph: Oh boy…you are on thin ice with me, Leh-nerd. Thin. Ice. And believe me, your 24.8 BMI is the least of our problems on this frozen metaphorical pond. “Dismantlement of the genocidal Zionist project” is a peaceful proposal that simply means bestowing upon Palestinians the exact same citizen rights that Jewish Israelis enjoy, while at the same time prosecuting all war criminals within both the Israeli government and Hamas. I should also clarify that I’ve been using a colloquial definition of “non-interventionism,” when I probably should be saying “anti-imperialism.” As a self-described “ardent non-interventionist,” I still want to “intervene” multilaterally to stop blatant acts of aggression if it makes sense to do so. The MOTIVES behind military and economic pressure are paramount to me. I keep repeating myself about Israel and Gaza because you guys keep framing the Iran-Israel conflict so ignorantly! On one side, Iran’s government is a socially regressive theocracy guilty of making irresponsible verbal threats to Israel and funding terrorists/resistance fighters. On the other side, Israel is an apartheid state guilty of genocide and illegal occupation of land. Neither are good, but only one side here is initiating acts of aggression against its neighbors. Only one side here has fully functioning nuclear weapons not monitored by the IAEA. Only one side here agreed to become a member of the NPT. Which side, exactly, is the greater threat to nuclear escalation at the moment?? But fine, I’ll stop bringing up the worst human rights crisis since the Holocaust because doing so challenges your infantile black vs. white worldview. Paradigm-shifting thoughts affect poor wittle Weh-nerd in the feel-feels, and awww…Weh-nerd’s feel-feels are what weally matter!! << haughty eyeroll >> << tosses baby formula bottle at Leh-nerd’s face >> << uploads latest cut-out maxi pic to Instagram page >> << sends Instagram page link to Ali Khamenei >>

International economic sanctions would serve as the carrot and the stick. A “kinetic” approach shouldn’t be necessary because the IAEA found Iran fully compliant during the JCPOA v1.0. Iran’s era of non-compliance began after Trump suddenly reneged on the deal. “Intervening via low-key revolution and king-making” is still letting the Iranians decide for themselves how they want to be governed. ~80% of Iranians are already dissatisfied with a theocracy. Basically, Iranian women can come visit me in NYC and watch my TikTok videos on how to wear bell-sleeved floral-patterned skater dresses while haughtily flipping one’s hair out in public, on the way to one’s appointment to abort one’s rapist’s baby. Iranians will want to live like Kay because who wouldn’t?? This is the extent of the revolution fomentation: simply opening up channels of communication (internet, travel, etc.) that promote the awesomeness of secular humanism and the American Bill of Rights. Iran’s government would theoretically agree to this because it would be part of the prospective international peace deal. And while I’m proposing theoretical solutions, allow me to expound on an additional carrot we are morally obligated to dangle in front of Iran: the full dismantlement of the genocidal Zionist project…a new one-state solution, under equally full IAEA surveillance as Iran, and with all Israeli government war criminals sent to The Hague. This would make the Houthis and Hezbollah happy, too, to go along with their Abraham Accords brethren and the rest of the Middle East (if they’re all being honest with their feelings about the psychopathic country that is Israel).

What I think SHOULD happen? As an ardent non-interventionist, I would have Iran agree to a JCPOA v2.0 crafted by the IAEA. In return, the international community would lift all economic sanctions on Iran, agree to a permanent ceasefire, and impose a worldwide BDS (Boycott, Divestment, and Sanction) policy against Israel if Israel does not oblige. I would also open up all channels of cultural communication with Iran as part of the deal, which would essentially be a “Trojan horse” strategy to foment internal dissent and revolution via secular humanist principles. Consider these additional questions as you assess this topic: 1. Who do you trust the most among Trump, Netanyahu, Khamenei, and the IAEA? My answer: easily the IAEA. Not even close. 2. Is Iran a rational actor or an irrational one? My answer: a rational one, believe it or not. Their observed behavior has remained consistent with a country fully aware of and completely invested in its self-preservation. A “rational actor,” as defined in this instance, understands that the single use of a nuclear weapon against Israel would equate to its own instant annihilation. Modern world history has taught us that possession of nuclear weapons equate to protection from American imperialism. Become Russia or North Korea and not Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, Libya, Somalia, Yemen, etc… 3. What is motivating the United States government in this conflict? My answer: the MIC, AIPAC, powerful individual oligarchs like Miriam Adelson, and (sadly) many Christian fundamentalists. 4. What is motivating Israel in this conflict? My answer: a quest for regional hegemony so that a Greater Israel (including Gaza, the West Bank, all of Jerusalem, the Golan Heights, southwest Syria, and southern Lebanon) can be constructed with minimal resistance. 5. Why did Israel attack Iran just days before the latest scheduled peace talks in Oman? My answer: to sabotage the peace talks. 6. Why was Trump insistent that Iran not have a nuclear energy program for civilian purposes? My answer: typical “Art of the Deal” stupidity. 7. What are the prospects for de-escalation? My answer: Frighteningly poor. The world leaders involved all appear to be sociopaths, in the clinical DSM-5 sense of the word. Tribalism is deeply entrenched and the dehumanization process is highly advanced. Iran just struck an Israeli hospital, for bleep’s sake, which I interpreted as an “oopsie!” response to all 36 of the hospitals Israel has targeted in Gaza since 10/7/23.