It is tough. I work in a medium sized firm in BUffalo (small for NYC, Chicago, LA, etc). My wife also has a very demanding job. The general rule is that smaller firms tend to be more "family friendly." But that is a relative term. I work, on average, 55-65 hours a week, but if I have a trial that goes up considerably, depending on the size of the case. There can also be a lot of time away from home.