ICanSleepWhenI'mDead

There are several proposed theoretical explanations for the observed phenomenon of 83% rooster turnover: 1. The earth's inner core is tens of kilometers off-center; http://www.technologyreview.com/blog/arxiv/27321/ 2. The future has resumed its efforts to sabotage experiments being conducted at the Large Hadron Super Collider (you can't make this stuff up); http://io9.com/5380647/is-the-large-hadron-collider-being-sabotaged-from-the-future 3. Chicken Little (a well-known expert on rooster demographics) was right! 4. Ralph is cheep. 5. It's hard to keep your rooster upright in the NFL.

This article is from 2007, but I thought it gave some interesting details about what NFL officiating crews do: http://www.usatoday.com/sports/football/nfl/2007-10-09-officials_N.htm

I had a dream where Roger Goodell said that the Ralph was old and dilapidated and could not support modern technology like HD video, so the Bills would have to move unless the County and state shelled out millions of dollars for stadium improvements. But then I went to the Jets game, and just before kickoff Fireman Ed got electrocuted doing something in a bathroom, which knocked out all the power. The scoreboard went dark, the headset radios wouldn't work, Maybin's personal barber had to use scissors and a straight razor to shave the word "bust" into his hairdo, the TV cameras wouldn't work, and there were only buggies in the parking lot. Then Fred Jackson went all old-school mid-evil on the Jets a$$, and the Bills won big. After the game, everybody went to the Amish Rifle's house to party like it was 1699, but everybody sounded like chipmunks. It looked and sounded something like this: THEN it got weird.

I think Fitz should wear the over-sized "Kelso helmet," as a way to spread fear, intimidate defenses and remind them of what is about to happen to them.

I wasn't in the room and I assume you were, so I appreciate that you took the time to review your notes to provide an exact quote about what Goodell said before the Eagles game. Because we're talking about things that happened more than 3 weeks ago, and that you presumably observed in person while I merely read about them, I went back and re-read a couple reports of what happened that day. I read this report first: http://niagara-gazette.com/sports/x1038034921/Commish-inspires-Buffalo-fans-to-keep-Bill-lievin I realize that in order to make a story more readable, reporters don't merely quote questions and answers verbatim, and write articles that provide the info in a way that may be different from the exact chronological order of questions and answers they heard. But the above quote from the NG seems to imply that Goodell's statement about his inability to offer "assurance" was made in response to reporter questions seeking details about (1) why Goodell was confident that the Bills would stay in WNY, rather than (2) exactly what Goodell himself has the power to do. Goodell certainly implied that he would personally play a major role in whether the Bills would move post-Ralph, because Goodell told the boy "I promise you - - I'll do everything I can to make sure it doesn't happen." The closest thing I could find to an actual transcript of everyone's questions and Goodell's answers was a blog entry by Chris Brown. I don't consider Brown a journalist because he's paid by the team he writes about, but I have no reason to think he misconstrued anything here (where although he uses no quotation marks, he seems to state Goodell's words exactly, thereby justifying Brown's description of the piece as a "transcript"): http://www.buffalobills.com/news/article-2/NFL-Commissioner-Roger-Goodell-transcript/090e01f4-821f-4a74-aef3-cc74caebe73d Once again, this report seems to indicate that Goodell's comments about Goodell's inability to provide "assurance" were made with respect to Goodell's "confidence" that the team will stay put. That's not the same thing as asking Goodell to be specific about what Goodell actually has the power to do after he told the boy - - "I promise you - - I'll do everything I can to make sure it doesn't happen." Do you recall if anyone ever asked Goodell to specifically explain what the commissioner has the power to do himself to prevent a move? I don't recall seeing that mentioned in any of the articles I've read. But since you were there and I wasn't, I'm asking. Because Goodell made that comment to the boy during the fan Q & A, and the press presumably only got to ask their own questions later, I can understand how Goodell might not have been asked to be more specific about what Goodell actually has the power to do to prevent a team move.

Computer-Security-Paranoia-Is-A-Good-Thing

Welcome to the board. Penn State does a white-out sometimes, and they can be awesomely sick! But you have to get absolutely EVERYONE to participate. It's great when that happens - - I don't have a video camera, but here's a still picture I took at the last one:

If Nelson has a headache, that would be pretty inconsiderate of Maybin.

Shonn Greene vs. Mr. Miyagi:

Jets GM Mike Tannenbaum vs. Rush Limbaugh:

Sione Pouha vs. Taylor Wily (Kamekona on Hawaii Five O):

I like the idea of shooting the Phish anywhere, barrel or no barrel!

Mark Sanchez vs. steaming dog turd:

Backup Aaron Maybin vs. Jets starting defensive 11

Lionel Richie vs. Tomlinson

Rex Ryan vs. 6 year old Ted Kaczynski

My bad - - I thought a math error was out of character. Shoulda checked with my brother Darryl.

1 and 17? Good Luck with that!

I agree with you on Nickelback, but how can you not like music with lyrics that make fun of (1) our pop-culture's hero-worship of celebrities who are famous for being famous, and (2) "jacka$$ millionaires?"

News flash - - although there are exceptions, in general most of the newer posters are the ones who believe Spags is trolling, while the more experienced posters play along. When the wax-eating Sorceror posts, it's exactly the opposite. Think about that for a minute (or go ask somebody) and get back to us. Spags is essentially Ed McMahon, allowing the rest of us to try to be Johnny Carson making fun of the Jets. If you're into Madden, you'll just have to google it.

I think London Fletcher calls him Scott "Where'd-he-go?" Chandler.

As the mug shot in your OP shows, you're just bitter about the Buffalo Bills because when the Bishop of Bergholz's buggies rolled up on you in Bergen, the Amish mafia cut off your hair and excuse for a beard. Sometimes things just happen. As reported by your own New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/18/us/hair-cutting-attacks-stir-fear-in-amish-ohio.html?_r=1&hp Everybody knows that the Amish don't like to talk to outsiders, so the press never found out that only those who criticized the Amish Rifle were attacked. If you talk smack about the Amish Rifle, your wrench aint gonna save you when the Mullets show up on your stoop. The Mullets may be Amish, but they're more bad-a$$ than you'll ever be - - check out THEIR mug shots: http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/10/mugshots_of_amish_haircutting_mob_released.php Them Ohio Amish really are a little different! Go Bills!

With good reason - - I'm not so sure that either of these guys could throw the deep out: I like Fitz, but use different criteria for evaluating him.

Point taken.

Not for me to judge, but if you actually want my opinion, the bleach thing, although pretty self-deprecating, wasn't my best. See: http://forums.twobillsdrive.com/topic/137603-school-district-named-after-bills-heroes/ On the other hand, I personally find it hilarious that people who consider themselves serious football fans obsess over what COLOR uniforms their favorite team will be wearing. I have seen that topic discussed with great frequency here, however, so I have to admit that I appear to be in the distinct minority on this issue. Humor can be a very individualized thing, so as I said, it's not really for me to judge. Here's something else I find hilarious - - am I again outside the mainstream, or would you agree it's funny? (note -- skip the initial chatter and go right to the song introduction at 1:28 into the 4:36 video clip): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I2urboaloE&feature=player_embedded