SageAgainstTheMachine

I have a naked lady fetish.

A vampire orders a cup of hot water at a cafe. The barista prepares it and says "I thought you guys only drink blood?". The vampire produces a used tampon and says "I'm making tea."

How's this compared to yours? Q: What's the easiest way to get a Jewish girl's number? A: Roll up her sleeve.

I won't pretend to know the industry well enough to offer my opinion on the studios' specific role in the process. My biggest beef with Hollywood and the studios is just the incessant pre-packaging. Oh boy, Jim Carrey making silly faces! Kevin James is a goofball, yaaayyy! Now watch Liam Neeson kick peoples' asses. And as much as I love most of the superhero movies, it's becoming rarer and rarer to see a hit movie that doesn't involve a secure pre-sold source material.

That's a pretty awesome quote.

Votto will pick it up eventually. I got Kemp #2...a certain .190 hitter for the Angels went #1 EDIT: Not to mention, my blind homerism led me to draft Jeter once again and it's actually paying dividends this time around.

Keep in mind, there's an entire world of independent film where the dollars and cents are less of a priority. A world where lead actors don't get paid $10 million just to show up.

In the words of Meatloaf, two out of three ain't bad.

Same here. I got me Hamilton AND Kemp.

Mostly just a testament to Major League Baseball being around for a loooong freaking time. It's a rarer feat than a perfect game.

Hiding in Honduras, I'm a desperate man.

This one pisses people off... Knock Knock Who's there? To To who? To whom! Say what you want about pedophiles. They drive past schools and parks slowly.

Also... Q: What's the worst part about kids' birthday parties? A: Cleaning the blood off your clown costume afterward.

At parties and such. Mine is... A man is at a doctor's appointment. The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to stop masturbating." The man says, "Why?" Doctor says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

To be fair, in terms of pre-season predictions Bleacher Report knows about as much as any "legit" source...aka nothing. I'll wait to see how the first several weeks play out before prognosticating.

"Tom Brady and Wes Welker at the Kentucky Derby." Did I win?

Both Nolan's Batman series and Breaking Bad are ending this year. I don't know if I can handle it

Oh, that was a typo. I meant "off" the field.

Say what you want about Coldplay (and I always do) but that is one evocative melody.

Completely unfair characterization of Marshawn. He did his share of foolish things on the field, but to suggest that he wasn't a team player is off base.

No problem, it really spoke to me - "whatever your excuse is, stop believing it"

Maybe THIS TIME he'll be wise enough to reveal his sources to anonymous Bills fans.

There was a great stand-up bit (I forget by whom) where he claims he can judge the intelligence of the US each year by how many people are killed by trains. "It's not like they can come and get ya!"

Great motivational video. I lost it at 3:52.

I'm trying to tell myself that. At the same time, some 22 year olds have difficulty coming back from ACL/Meniscus tears. Mo is 42.