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Super Bowl Commercials


Ralonzo

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Simulcasting this year... Let's catch up:

 

6:22 - Away we go.

 

#1) GI Joe, the movie. Finally someone pushes over that French Space Needle. Hope it was us.

 

#2) If Amway didn't pay the mortgage for you, call Avon like these homely women. Maybe they should try using some of their product before pushing it on others?

 

#3) McDonald's tugs at our heartstrings as some kid pulls a penny out of the circuit breaker to give to other sick kids. Awwww. Don't worry kid, universal healthcare will mean you don't have to do homework by candlelight.

 

#4) NFL. Kurt Warner tries to break Jim Kelly's record for talking about himelf in the third person.

 

#5) NBC promo for Monday. A bunch of TV stars dancing like Steve Winwood. Sad.

 

#6) Hyundai Genesis. They're still telling us they're not like Yugos.

 

 

6:30 And kickoff is already late. Nice planning.

 

#1) Hyundai has some guy in a helmet knocking over traffic cones under trees, accompanied by some music that was considered edgy when it was 1992 and camera work that makes people who watch the new season of Battlestar Galactica nauseous.

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6:39, How many SB touchdowns can a QB score with his helmet? Challenge it!!!

 

#1) Here's the first Bud Light ad. Is annoyability a word?

 

#2) Movie. Da Vinci Code II: Lenny Gets Even.

 

#3) Nice Starsky and Hutch and Miami Vice allusions. On the other hand it's an Audi. Enjoy it the 150 days a year it's not in the shop.

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6:43 A challenge that causes a 4-point swing. Take a note Dick.

 

#1) Mr Robert Zimmerman, and a bunch of "same is it ever was" motifs for Pepsobama Cola. They should use the Who for a sister ad... meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

 

#2) Doritos. Nutshots are always funny, I don't care who you are.

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6:51 Cards looking shaky...

 

#1) Conan O'Skeletor for Bud Light. That looked more German than Swedish.

 

#2) Year One, another movie with Anachronism as the main theme. Should be a friggin' riot. I mean, Mel Brooks never got around to this. Oh wait, he did?

 

#3) Toyota Venza. Hey, why not, gas is around $2 again, right?

 

Some chuck promo. She thinks being flat is "1-D". Blondes can't handle the X AND Y axes, I guess.

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7:01 End of 1st Q. Is Arizona going to make a play today?

 

#1) Bridgestone. Mrs Potato Head is headed for some beef stew.

 

#2) The Fast And The Furious 12, where Vin Diesel publically takes it up the tailpipe.

 

#3) Castrol oil. Nice, bestiality should sell you tons of lube, guys.

 

#4) Spooky NBC commercial time. Oooh, I'm soooo scared.

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7:05

 

#1) Land Of The Lost. A new Will Farrell movie where, just for a change, Will Farrell plays the role of Will Farrell.

 

#2) Doritos with a demented and antisocial ad. Should sell great to the bored extreme youth demographic while they're rehabbing their skateboard and BMX injuries.

 

#3) GoDaddy. Danica Patrick has bigger shoulders than me. Crap.

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7:09 Jeff Reed's hairdo almost pulled that PAT wide.

 

#1) Pepsobama Max. This reminds me why there should be compulsory viewing of the Three Stooges to reverse the weenification of American society.

 

#2) Pedigree dog commercial where people have pets that don't make sense instead a dog.

 

#3) Budweiser commercial where some clown has a Clydesdale as a pet. Good placement, guys.

 

 

7:12

 

#1) Not just another idiotic animal commercial, but that carny seems way too attached to that white mare in a non-owner-pet sort of way.

 

#2) Star Trek. Sweet. Sign me up... to download it off the web.

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7:22 And we got us a ballgame, 10-7

 

#1) Gatorade. What is this Ansel Adams black & white crap. And why is Corky in it?

 

#2) Cars.com. The story of Tedy Bruschi's young life, I guess. Why is there a .com out there that can still afford SB ads?

 

#3) NBC promo, Chuck me? no CHUCK YOU

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7:22 And we got us a ballgame, 10-7

 

#1) Gatorade. What is this Ansel Adams black & white crap. And why is Corky in it?

 

 

Who was that mutant with no hair??

 

I think you guys are referring to the bald kid in the Gatorade commercials. He's the autistic kid who grew up in Rochester, and was allowed to enter a HS basketball game and play. Amazingly he started raining down three pointers , and if I'm not mistaken had the high score in the game. They had the story on Sportscenter a few times.

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6:43 A challenge that causes a 4-point swing. Take a note Dick.

 

#1) Mr Robert Zimmerman, and a bunch of "same is it ever was" motifs for Pepsobama Cola. They should use the Who for a sister ad... meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

 

#2) Doritos. Nutshots are always funny, I don't care who you are.

 

doritoes are number 1 so far

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I think you guys are referring to the bald kid in the Gatorade commercials. He's the autistic kid who grew up in Rochester, and was allowed to enter a HS basketball game and play. Amazingly he started raining down three pointers , and if I'm not mistaken had the high score in the game. They had the story on Sportscenter a few times.

 

 

Why is he wearing lipstick?

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7:34 Holy crap, that's a long time between commercials, I'm going through withdrawal!

 

#1) Hyundai has the yakuza and the Third Reich pissed off at them.

 

#2) E-trade, another stupid talking baby commercial.

 

#3) More crappy NBC promo.

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He's the autistic kid who grew up in Rochester, and was allowed to enter a HS basketball game and play. Amazingly he started raining down three pointers

 

Rain Man, I get it, i get it.

 

Is it time for Judge Wapner?

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7:41 First turnover of the game goes to... Arizona!

 

#1) H & R Block. I remember this scene from Monty Python's Meaning Of Life. It was

.

 

#2) Teleflora. Hey, I'm desperate, I'll see her naked.

 

#3) Monster.com's "Fandemonium" I assume Van Miller is getting residuals for that, you bastards.

 

#4) NFL, maybe you should text "FAT" instead of "FIT". Easier to remember.

 

#5) NBC promo. Jay Len-old.

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7:46 Arizona driving.

 

#1) Cheetos. Oh I like where this is going. Nice. I like that one.

 

 

Give the annoying woman the bird. :lol:

 

Hopefully, the pigeons can be transported to all the horrid Bud Light commercials we've seen tonight.

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7:57 And I must be cursed. ****ing Steelers. Commercials in 3D. Did anyone know this crap was happening?

 

#1) Monsters Vs Aliens: More than crappy CG, it's crappy 3D CG.

 

#2) Monsters Vs Homosexuals? No, just Sobe.

 

#3) NBC 3D.

 

Halftime report and Bruce Springstein. I'm outta here for 30 to finish rebuilding my iRobot.

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8:35 and memories of the XV Stealers are returning

 

#1) Coke. Frankly she looked less brutal when she was Shrek.

 

#2) Bridgestone. Jacked up in outer space. That's what you get parking in the alley behind Mos Eisley spaceport.

 

#3) Denny's. Tuesday from 6AM to 2PM, free Grand Slam? I'm skipping work.

 

#4) Monster.com, yawn.

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8:35 and memories of the XV Stealers are returning

 

#1) Coke. Frankly she looked less brutal when she was Shrek.

 

#2) Bridgestone. Jacked up in outer space. That's what you get parking in the alley behind Mos Eisley spaceport.

 

#3) Denny's. Tuesday from 6AM to 2PM, free Grand Slam? I'm skipping work.

 

#4) Monster.com, yawn.

 

The Bridgestone ad was the best so far.

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8:40

 

#1) Budweiser... oh just take these damned horses to the damn glue factory already.

 

#2) Race To Witch Mountain. Speaking of Mos Eisley spaceport... it's the Rock... and Boba Fett. How can I resist committing 4 gigs to this debacle? Well, this time I'll do the right thing.

 

#3) NBC, who cares.

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8:57 And the "Stealers" are back in fine form, just like SB XL.

 

#1) Movie. Crap getting blown to hell is usually a good sign. Alas it's another transformers movie.

 

#2) Hey dummy! Hahaha, koala. This is like the 12 days of Christmas, careerbuilder.com. That rocked.

 

#3) NBC Heroes, yawn. I'll still watch it I guess.

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