RJsackedagain Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 Hmmmm, I heard it was every time a kitten masturbates a doctor dies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X. Benedict Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 Hmmmm, I heard it was every time a kitten masturbates a doctor dies The AMA has just issued a statement on the dangers of catnip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sketch Soland Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 are you shaking your fist at an empty hole in the sky again?Temper your rage man, temper your rage. THE DYING OF THE LIGHT! THE DYING OF THE LIGHT! THE MACHINE, THE GHOST IN THE.....AHHHHHH MORGAN FREEMAN AHHHHHHHH>..........>AHHHHH>>>>>>>>>> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cornerville Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 As opposed to what you have to "backup" your belief in God? silly wabbit! you phrased your post poorly! I know, I know I forgot...it is 'hip' to be anti-God these days, I almost forgot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sketch Soland Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 I know, I know I forgot...it is 'hip' to be anti-God these days, I almost forgot! No, you forgot how to not leave yourself open to an easy retort. I don't give a sh-- if you believe in God or don't! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BB27 Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 Well, my two cats are fully grown, so, as long as they aren't my kittens, I'm going to continue to pleasure myself when I feel its appropriate........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sketch Soland Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 Well, my two cats are fully grown, so, as long as they aren't my kittens, I'm going to continue to pleasure myself when I feel its appropriate........ That brings up an interesting point: is the masturbation-kittenocide ratio like a quantum relationship, like two electrons on other sides of the universe can be affected by each other in a non-local way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennesseeboy Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 I believe in God I believe in Kittens I believe in masturbation... Geez...what an awesome statement of faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 Early Christians were persecuted by Rome by throwing them in the Collesium with Lions. Lions just like kittens, are felines There's a quote by Ben Franklin about how beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Maybe this is an extension of Franklin's idea When a man jacks off he's happy By killing kittens, God is smiting one of his people's oldest enemies It's win/win people! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sketch Soland Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 Early Christians were persecuted by Rome by throwing them in the Collesium with Lions. Lions just like kittens, are felines There's a quote by Ben Franklin about how beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Maybe this is an extension of Franklin's idea When a man jacks off he's happy By killing kittens, God is smiting one of his people's oldest enemies It's win/win people! Does this mean I have to burn my collection of "Hello Kitty" paraphrenalia for crimes against humanity? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tcali Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 I think you have it backwards...whenever God kills a kitten...we masturbate... lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 Does this mean I have to burn my collection of "Hello Kitty" paraphrenalia for crimes against humanity? I wouldn't burn them until you get yourself a good lawyer first. There's jurisdictional issues here. Having "Hello Kitty" paraphenalia also violates several Man Laws® Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 I just killed 5 kittens today . hope the wife gets home soon . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sketch Soland Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 I wouldn't burn them until you get yourself a good lawyer first. There's jurisdictional issues here. Having "Hello Kitty" paraphenalia also violates several Man Laws® What "Hello Kitty" are you referring to? I was talking about Kitty, the one legged, double jointed Thai Hooker with a third nipple.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennesseeboy Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 let's face it...if this were true, cats would have gone the way of the dinosaur years ago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apuszczalowski Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 Hmmmm, I heard it was every time a kitten masturbates a doctor dies No its actually everytime a Kitten masterbates, a god is killed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary M Posted April 21, 2007 Share Posted April 21, 2007 http://thegoodreverend.blogspot.com/2005/07/cat-killing.html Cat Killing? There are nearly 26 billion male masturbation sessions in the U.S., yet there are fewer than five million kitten deaths annually. Far from a one-to-one correlation, there are 5401.5 masturbation sessions for every single kitten death. This means that the average American man can masturbate regularly for 22.5 years before he is responsible for the death of a single kitten. Indeed, with a life expectancy of less than 75 years, the average man will be responsible for only two or three kitten deaths in a lifetime of vigorous masturbation. Hell I'm not forty yet,and I'm working on my second kitten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibs Posted April 21, 2007 Share Posted April 21, 2007 http://thegoodreverend.blogspot.com/2005/07/cat-killing.html Cat Killing? By now I'm sure you're familiar with the age-old adage, "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten."....... I always heard it was "Every time you masturbate, you kill a kitten." I thought it was a directive. When I was a teenager I was out half the night, every night looking for kittens to kill. sometimes 4 a night Of course, as I got older I learned about killing kitty....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_franchise Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 I just killed 5 kittens today . hope the wife gets home soon . So she can kill one for you? Or can someone masturbate you and save a kitten? That would make on hell of a shirt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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