inkman Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 So my family and I decided to treat ourselves and go out for a little Italian cuisine last night at Bazil here in Rochacha. The meal was outstanding only to be topped of with a bottle of Savignon Blanc. Then at the end of the meal, my wife and I noticed that her son had not touched his entree. We thought it was a little weird, but we had already had breadsticks, mozzarella sticks and fried calamari. So perhaps he filled himself up with that. We're not sure if that was the case but he sure as heck wasn't about to eat anymore. He started acting really sleepy and with this one statement we knew impending doom was upon us. "My stomach hurts, can I use the bathroom to puke". My wife and I looked at each other in horror and my seating location on the outside of the booth nominated me for barf duty. The only problem was I had no idea where the freakin bathroom was. So instictively, I grabbed him and headed for the front of the restaraunt. Our journey didn't really go as I had planned. After we took about four steps, he stopped dead in his tracks and blew chunks all over the floor in between two tables full of patrons. I wasn't quite sure of the spray radius but looking back I feel like these people would have been extremely fortunate to avoid a most grotesque foot shower. After this, I was feeling fairly panicked. We made another few steps and reapeated the last step all over again. During this, I was able to locate a waitress and get directions to the bathroom. Unfortunately, we stopped one more time on the way to the bathroom. This time I was so determined to get to the bathroom I pushed my step-son directly into what he left on the floor, making him slip and fall right into the large pile of nasty. This sucked on many levels. First off, I felt tremendous guilt for probably causing this spill. Secondly, this created quite a mess between him and I. Spreading his vomit all over our legs and feet. So we finally got to the restroom, and of coarse, the stall is locked. I told my step-son to use the urinal. While no the most desired location, it was better than in the middle of the restaurant. As fate would have it, when we did finally get in to the stall, he had already finished the job. I spent the next twenty minutes cleaning him off, as well as myself. I called my wife from within the bathroom and told her we were heading for the exit. She was one step ahead of me, already waiting outside the bathroom. She told me she had paid but we still needed to leave a tip. Upon getting back to the table, everything was gone and ready for the next customer. At this point the waitress must have thought we were the worst customer ever. No tip, puke everywhere. Alas, I found her nearby and unloaded my wallet into her hand and scurried out of the establishment hoping nobody remembered me as the puking kid's escourt. Anyone else have any stories like this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corp000085 Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 that sucks... i have a couple puke cleanup stories from my days working at red lobster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inkman Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 that sucks... i have a couple puke cleanup stories from my days working at red lobster. 721759[/snapback] Me too, from Danny's joint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubes Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 I'm sorry, but that is freaking hilarious. Not for the kid, of course, but that just sounds like something from a Will Ferrell movie. One reason I'm not interested in having kids is imagining how I would react in a situation like that, and it's not pretty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
\GoBillsInDallas/ Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Then at the end of the meal, my wife and I noticed that her son had not touched his entree.721756[/snapback] Amazing - when the son gets sick, it's her son. I'm sure that when the son becomes the valedictorian of his high school class in a few years, you will make a post about your son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajzepp Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 That happened to me and my ex-wife as we were driving back from church with my stepsons (twin boys). One of them said he was feeling like he needed to puke, so we began to pull over.....but we forgot about the child locks on the doors By the time we remembered, it was too late....he'd started to let it rip in the backseat. My ex finally did get the car door open, so the second round ended up outside, but what we didn't anticipate was the sympathetic reaction by his brother, lol. So less than a minute later we had a whole other round of puke going on. Amazingly enough, by the time we got home we had them laughing with us about what had happened....but when I went back out in the garage to examine the damage, I damn near lost my lunch too, lol. I feel for ya though, Inkman....it's gotta be ten times worse when it happens in public....especially when you're trying to eat, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taterhill Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 I fell asleep on the can for about 30 minutes at a Bar in Indy the Saturday before the Bills Played Indy on MNF in 2000...not realy gross..just kind of funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajzepp Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 I fell asleep on the can for about 30 minutes at a Bar in Indy the Saturday before the Bills Played Indy on MNF in 2000...not realy gross..just kind of funny 721913[/snapback] After 30 mins you'd probably need a jackhammer to get cleaned up instead of toilet paper. (there, now it's gross ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inkman Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 Amazing - when the son gets sick, it's her son. I'm sure that when the son becomes the valedictorian of his high school class in a few years, you will make a post about your son. 721859[/snapback] That's funny and all but his actual father is dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inkman Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 I fell asleep on the can for about 30 minutes at a Bar in Indy the Saturday before the Bills Played Indy on MNF in 2000...not realy gross..just kind of funny 721913[/snapback] I passed out on my buddies toilet at Penn State...twice...naked while everyone was coming in to use the other toilet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guffalo Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 I passed out on my buddies toilet at Penn State...twice...naked while everyone was coming in to use the other toilet. 721925[/snapback] ohh, that was you??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inkman Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 ohh, that was you??? 722031[/snapback] Did you use the other toilet or just soak me in urine like I deserved? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billsfanone Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 My nephew once hurled in the middle of a restaurant. Fun times! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodBye Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 After 30 mins you'd probably need a jackhammer to get cleaned up instead of toilet paper. (there, now it's gross ) 721916[/snapback] eeeewwwweee!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajzepp Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 eeeewwwweee!! 722132[/snapback] yeah, I figured you'd know what I was talkin' about Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodBye Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 yeah, I figured you'd know what I was talkin' about 722141[/snapback] Hey! Just planted a mental picture in my head that I'd rather not see was all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajzepp Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Hey! Just planted a mental picture in my head that I'd rather not see was all. 722147[/snapback] well, I figured you probably use something more practical....maybe like a spoon or something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodBye Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 well, I figured you probably use something more practical....maybe like a spoon or something 722148[/snapback] What's a spoon? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffal0 Bill5 Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 A couple of years ago we were with a large group at the Old Country Buffet up on Niagara Falls Boulevard. My then five year old came over to tell me that his tummy hurt. Being a loving dad, I picked him up and hugged him. He proceeded with a power vomit that literally hit me in the chin and completely soaked my shirt and the shorts I was wearing. After about 45 minutes in the bathroom laundering my clothes with hand soap in the sink we made for the exit. While still on the Boulevard, his brother announced that he needed to puke too. All told we had 4 kids that exchanged turns hurling without warning all the way back to Olean, with on case of explosive diharrea. I wish I could say this is an exaggeration, but sadly, it is factual. I wanted to push my van over a cliff when we arrived at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffal0 Bill5 Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Another time, a buddy and I went to a chinese restaraunt for lunch, and I ate something wrong. It was one of those deals where I was holding it in my mouth trying to make it to the bathroom, but didn't. My buddy got a case of the sympathy pukes and joined me in yakking all over the kitchen floor. My wife timed it out perfectly and walked in to find two grown men hurling all over the kitchen floor. Her facial expression was priceless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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