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OT - Shockey Interview

Pitta

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Pitta

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This is kinda off topic, but I just love this guy's charisma!

 

He’s big, he’s bad, and he lives his life like Kid Rock in a football helmet. At twenty-two years of age, Jeremy Shockey just might be the brightest new star in the NFL’s galaxy.

Not surprisingly, his outspoken manner and hard-partying ways have generated a mountain of press from the New York media, almost all of it negative. But there’s another side of Shockey that he’d like the world to know more about. Jest’s Jonathan Corbett sat down with Jeremy recently to shed some light on the matter.

 

Jest: Good morning.

 

Jeremy Shockey: Who are you?

 

Jest: I’m from Jest magazine. I’m here for the--

 

JS: !@#$ off.

 

Jest: Wait! Your agent asked me last night if--

 

JS: Oh yeah...the image thing, right?

 

Jest: Exactly.

 

JS: Sorry about that. [Laughs] I get a lot of knuckleheads coming around here. C’mon in.

 

Jest: Thanks. How’s it going this morning?

 

JS: Hangin’ loose and drippin’ juice! [laughs] Have a seat. Want something to drink?

 

Jest: No thanks. Late night?

 

JS: Oh yeah. But I’ll be okay. We can start whenever you’re ready.

 

Jest: Great. How are you enjoying life in New York so far?

 

JS: I’m loving it. I mean, what’s not to like? Its got the best restaurants, the best clubs, and some of the beautiful-est women in the world.

 

Jest: Do you miss Oklahoma?

 

JS: Oh yeah, it does get lonely being five thousand miles from home, so I try to keep myself occupied.

 

Jest: I understand you’ve been doing a lot of charity work lately.

 

JS: I have, but you wouldn’t know that from reading the papers here in New York.

 

Jest: Unfortunately, charity work doesn’t make for good headlines.

 

JS: No shi_t. Sometimes I wonder why I bother.

 

Jest: Tell me about the Shockey Foundation.

 

JS: The Shockey Foundation is an organization I set up that delivers candy to the elderly. My agent tells me that, as a society, we kind of forget about the old people, and I wanted to do something about it. I’ve been pretty fortunate and I thought I should give something back. We also give them used CD’s and shi_t.

 

Jest: That’s really nice.

 

JS: Just doin’ my part. Besides, this kind of stuff comes in pretty handy if you ever get busted for something.

 

Jest: Do the elderly seem to know who you are?

 

JS: Some of them do. Some don’t know their ass from a ham sandwich. But that’s not what’s important. What’s important is that it makes me feel good to do something nice. Once we brought a couple of puppies into the old folks home and you’da thought we were givin’ away Humvees or something. It was nuts.

 

Jest: That’s great. Did you have any pets growing up?

 

JS: Just one. When I was nine my Momma gave me a kitten. I named her Pickles. Unfortunately, she was killed only a couple months later.

 

Jest: That’s too bad. What happened?

 

JS: I shot her with a BB gun. Me and my brother were just fartin’ around, trying to scare her and, well, we scared her all right.

 

Jest: Wow, you must have been pretty upset.

 

JS: Damn straight. I lost my gun for a month and my cat for good. I was balling for like an hour.

 

Jest: That’s quite an image. Pretty different than the Jeremy Shockey we read about in the press.

 

JS: Exactly. All anyone seems to want to talk about is the women and the partying, but I guess that just goes with the territory.

 

Jest: So what really happened between you and Brittany Spears?

 

JS: Man, that thing got so blown out of proportion. All I did was talk to her at a bar for like ten minutes. I kind of put my hand on her ass when I hugged her goodbye, but that’s it.

 

Jest: You’ve recently been seen around town with Playmate of the Year Christina Santiago. How’s that going?

 

JS: How do you think? [Laughs]. It ain’t nothing serious. But she’s a great lady and pretty damn smart for a playmate. She speaks two languages. And she knows a shitload about all sorts of stuff…fashion, movies, food--you name it.

 

Jest: What’s your favorite restaurant in New York?

 

JS: Old Homestead, the steakhouse. Badass steaks. Houlihan’s is pretty good too. I did a waitress there once -- gave me free soda refills.

 

Jest: I guess free refills are one the perks of being a big-time football player.

 

JS: Yep. But you know, I bust my ass to be this good and I deserve whatever I can get out of it. Coach told me that I can do all the drinking and screwing around I want as long as I’m doing my job on the field. Nothing else matters.

 

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Pitta RFA

Pitta

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There is actually another funny bit on Shockey in a Maxim interview conducted a few years back...

 

Talkin' Trash: Jeremy Shockey

 

We sat the beautiful—and brave—Diane Hill down with New York Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey, and the following…just…kinda…happened.

 

Maxim Online, September 2003

 

(Note: the views expressed by Mr. Shockey are not necessarily those of Maxim magazine, Dennis Publishing, or 94 percent of convicted sexual predators currently serving time in America’s prisons.)

 

Who’s the biggest kitty in the NFL?

Every defensive back. They’re all so small. When I catch the ball and I see this little defensive back, you know I’m gonna beat him up.

 

Who do you think is the dirtiest player in the game?

Chad Brown from Seattle. He’s dirty, but he’s a great player and he’s fun to play against. He’ll punch you, shove a knee in your back—I wish they’d let us do more things like that. There are a lot of dirty players out there, including myself. If I get a cheap shot on somebody, I’m gonna take it.

 

What about cut blocking? Is Denver really as bad everyone says?

Denver is notorious. That’s just how their coaches teach them. But that’s football—you gotta do whatever you have to do to win. If I’m out there and a big lineman’s running at me, I’m gonna cut his ass just like they do to me.

 

We hear some coaches encourage players to fight during practice. Is that true?

I get in fights all the time. I fought (linebacker) Brandon Short on our team last year. Our coach kinda likes it; it gets the practice going. In college, I was pretty good about that. If you want to get practice over with, fight somebody.

 

Do you sleep with a different girl every night?

No, I don’t sleep… But I could definitely sleep with a different girl every night. But I don’t go up and say, “Hey, I’m Jeremy Shockey.” Half the time I tell them I’m in the petroleum distribution agency—I pump gas. So I get ’em off not with my name, but just by talking to ’em.

 

Right… But do you think you would get laid just as much if you weren’t playing in the NFL?

No. Probably not

 

How many girls have you had sex with?

You know, I lost count. I don’t know, about 100.

 

Are they waiting for you outside the games?

I think they’re waiting outside this restaurant for me right now.

 

What’s the craziest thing they ever did?

I get letters in the mail from mothers that send me pictures of their daughters. They’re like, “Hey, her name’s Alicia, she’s this old, I’d like you to meet her.” It’s funny because my locker is right next to Jason Sehorn, and we compare letters. He gets some from old ladies, like a 35-year-old woman telling him she loves him.

 

What’s your biggest sexual fantasy?

A threesome with a mother and her two twins—that’d be the best!

 

If you could have sex with anybody right now, who would it be?

Right now? You. You’re a beautiful woman, and I’d like sex with you right now.

 

Really? I heard you asked Britney Spears out?

That was a lie. I was actually with another girl at a party and I was introduced to her. And the media saw it and said I got dissed. But if I did hit on her, she’d turn me down, so they’re probably right about that.

 

What about Tara Reid?

She’s a friend. You know, I've got a lot of lady friends like her, and…uhh…she came over.

 

Did you have sex with her?

Nope.

 

Come on…

No.

 

Yes you did.

No, I didn’t.

 

But you did go out with her.

All right. I did go to a Chili Peppers concert with her and she came over and we drank some wine.

 

No sex?

No, I had work the next day. I don’t have sex when I have work the next day…unless it’s a special occasion.

 

So you’re one of those guys that if you have a game on Sunday, you’ll stay in the whole weekend?

I’m not gonna go out and get drunk before the game. After the game’s a different story. After the game I’ll probably stay up for two days straight.

 

Do you pick up chicks on the road?

Oh yeah, definitely. A lot of guys have like a girl in Dallas. They’ve got a girl in Arizona. A girl in Washington. I don’t have any girls anywhere, so if you’re hot and reading this and you want to get with me on the road, just send your letters to Maxim or to me at Giants Stadium…with a picture.

 

So, you’re taking resumes?

Oh yeah. I’m always looking for a point guard. I’m always looking for someone to fill in my starting five.

 

One of our editors bumped into you in Vegas at about 8:00 a.m. with $250,000 in cash in your hands.

Yeah, I was with George Maloof, who owns the Palms Hotel and who’s brothers own the Sacramento Kings. He had 250 grand. I had $42,000. We were gambling all night. I was betting about $5,000 a hand and George was betting about $10,000. He’s definitely on a different level than me and he’s a good gambler, so he can do that.

 

What other famous people do you hang out with?

David Wells is one of my good buddies.

 

He drinks before games.

Yeah…you know, I’m gonna have to try that.

 

Have you had sex with anyone famous?

I’ve had sex with a couple people that are famous. But I can’t I kiss and tell. I’m a true gentleman, so if you’re out there and listening, you can have sex with me and I obviously won’t tell anybody but my buddies.

 

What about Katana Baker, the girl from the Miller Lite commercial?

I wish! Katana, if you’re reading this give me a call and we can make it happen.

 

Who gets the most New York City tail, you or Derek Jeter?

He has a girlfriend, so I’m gonna have to say me.

 

Well, when he doesn’t have a girlfriend?

He’s actually established himself a little bit better than me, so I’m probably gonna have to say him. I’ve got a couple more years ’til I reach my peak. But I think seriously you’d be the number one person I’d have sex with over anybody else.

 

Yeah…today. That’s pretty impressive that, of everybody in New York right now, you’d have sex with me.

You’re the closest one, let’s just go over here in the corner and I’ll be in and out pretty quick.

 

You’d wear a condom, right? Have you ever had sex without a condom?

Never.

 

Ever in your life?

Nope.

 

Not even once when you were young in high school?

No.

 

Never a quickie when you’re drunk?

No.

 

So you don’t know what it feels like to have sex without a condom?

Oral sex, if it’s gonna be a quickie.

 

OK, enough about sex. Tell me one thing that nobody knows about you.

I’m a titty man, I love titties. Love em.

 

That’s why you want to have sex with me.

I’m getting ready to just reach over there and grab ’em, but I’ve got to restrain my hand.

 

 

http://www.maximonline.com/sports/articles/article_5403.html

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