We need an Australian Rugby Fan doing play by play for us!

[BuffaloSol]

Did any one read this play by play of the 49ers vs Vikings game last night? It's pretty funny. Here it is.

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/live/2015/sep/15/jarryd-hayne-san-francisco-49ers-debut-against-minnesota-vikings

 

I would love a play by play from this guy. It's to bad we didn't pick up a guy like Jarrod Hayne, that could draw in a big foreign market.

[Wazzu Bill]

"Niners ball. Ball loose. What? Kaepernick dropped the hut-hut ball, I think. Glanced away. So fast is this game. Second and 10, now. Give it to Carlos? Why not. He’s like John Riggins, another name from olden times. There’s Adrian Peterson on the big screen, a fine and shiny bald head, watching on as Carlos Hyde goes nearly all the way."

 

Excellent haha

[Hapless Bills Fan]

Did any one read this play by play of the 49ers vs Vikings game last night? It's pretty funny. Here it is.

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/live/2015/sep/15/jarryd-hayne-san-francisco-49ers-debut-against-minnesota-vikings

 

I would love a play by play from this guy. It's to bad we didn't pick up a guy like Jarrod Hayne, that could draw in a big foreign market.

 

It would have grated on me as one more in a line of football decisions made by marketing guys if we had, but the blog is a total scream! Why don't we have annoucers like that? Can we offer him a job? For anyone who doesn't want to read it, here's a sampling. Bolding mine.

 

"they’re in an all-black outfit, with flashes of red, in some kind of nod to the menace of Darth Maul"

"Greetings, the People, Matt Cleary here, I’ll be doing my best to call the Big Game - San Francisco 49ers versus Minnesota Timberwolves (or something) - live from Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara."

"Huge men on the sidelines. Jim Tomsula in headphones, Mike Zimmer in headphones, they are the head coaches. It’s the Timberwolves (that’s enough of that joke now) to kick off! And we’re away."

"Boom! Quarterback pulls the trigger but it’s incomplete (ball was dropped) but there’s a flag and naughty defender cops a five-yard penalty for his team." Tsk! Tsk! Naughty!

"First and 20, a lot. Quarterback fakes to throw, fakes again, runs over the line of scrimmage and falls onto his tummy lest anyone hurt him. You’d be teased in rugby league and penalised."

"Righto ... something of a break here in the Big Monday Night Football game between 49ers and Vikings, there was a timeout, I think. Anyway, the 49ers have the ball on their 34 yard line. Kaepernick goes backwards and flings it forwards a long way but to nobody. Good long throw. But not accurate."

"No - it’s fourth and one. Thought old mate Reggie had run over the line. The Niners line up. False start. Flags fly in. A lot of pointing. And ... the Niners are penalised five yards. And coach Jim Tomasula looks like someone’s set his car on fire. And the Niners will punt."

"Fair catch by a Viking. Means you can catch it and don’t have to run. Seems to be a fair few rules in American football. It’s quite a long way from games at Parramatta Stadium."

"Righto, nil-all still in the Big One, 49ers vs Vikings. And there’s another timeout. Vikings with the ball. They make four yards. They have to get another six to make a first down, it’s the laws of the game. But Niners defence belts the running man. And then several of them head off the field. Funny game, National Football League. A sack! The Niners D-people celebrate like they’ve invented penicillin! The Vikings are deep and will punt, meaning...Here’s the Hayne Plane! His first touch in the NFL. And... he drops it? Oh my goodness me, he drops it! His first touch is a fumble! He’s grassed it. Oh my."

"Ha. Well. Funny game, National Football League, our Jarryd, after a golden run through the trials has some real bullets fired at him and comes up with a fumble on a wobbly punt by the Vikings punt man. Tomsula paces the line like he’s a bear in a cage and doesn’t like it. Vikings ball. They ... come up short of the line in the face of a wave of Niners D. Top D, D-men. And now we’ll have another break. Lot of breaks. No-one would get tired, this much is certain."

"Okay, referees are talking to us again ... and penalising the offence another five yards. Hayne Plane is on the field again, this time as a running back. He is given the ball and he .... oh yes, he makes some yards. And he’s getting a little love. And wow, he’s on the telly, doing his thing for the Eels. Ha. Oh, rugby league. He’s got the ball from a pass – he beats one! He beats ... no, that’s all. Just one. Good little run though. He made seven yards."

"Righto. Someone might score soon. There’s seven minutes left in the second quarter. Teddy Bridgewater flings a pass wide by Aaron Lynch, a giant human, swamps the wide man like a giant wet blanket with arms. Third and 11 from the 36, a lot."

"Righto – what’s doing, Monday Night Football game. Another break? Fair few breaks. Not exactly the Helsinki marathon in terms of aerobic exercise. But my it’s fast and physical. And the Niners have the ball a long way from where Ellington caught the ball and ran to not score a touchdown. Second and two, now. And Carlos Hyde makes the first down with a strong run to the right. Reggie Bush is off the field. Niners on their 20- yard line. Hyde again. Good hole running. And again – he’s rolling up field, killing ‘em. And the Niners are over the red line ... it was Hayne! He’s on a special team now, the running-a-few-yards and crash-into-the-other-mob team. Kaepernick goes himself next ... and there’s flags again. And the ball goes to a giant man, No88. Someone might score soon."

"Kaepernick goes wide. And there’s another break. Everyone has a drink. My, there are some breaks. More breaks than Alcatraz. That’s a poor analogy. There were no breaks from Alcatraz. Or was there? Sean Connery made one in that silly film with Nicolas Cage in which Sean says: ‘Yes I will look after your Humvee,’ or something."

"Touchdown 49ers: Minnesota 0-6 San Francisco Oh yes, Carlos Hyde, fine run down the right side, he rumbles his way down the right behind two blockers ... Hyde! Touchdown 49ers! Hyde spun and ran and confused everyone and we have a touchdown!"

 

I'm reminded of the quote from the Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer librarian cum slayer-trainer Giles: "I just think it's rather odd that a nation that prides itself on its virility should feel compelled to strap on forty pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby."

[Shamrock]

We're already here, been here for years too.

[downunderbill]

I live in Australia and the NFL has been popular here for years. I have followed the Bills since I first saw a game at 12 years old and I'm 37 now. Mostly bandwagon fans in oz though, most people you speak to are patriots, sea hawks and now 49ers fans. Then again I started as a bandwagon fan as well. The first game I ever watched was the Bills vs the Giants in that infamous Superbowl. I remember the Bills players looking on in despair at that last kick and thinking I hope they win it next year. Like to think after 25 years I've shaken the bandwagon thing though.

[BuffaloBill]

I live in Australia and the NFL has been popular here for years. I have followed the Bills since I first saw a game at 12 years old and I'm 37 now. Mostly bandwagon fans in oz though, most people you speak to are patriots, sea hawks and now 49ers fans. Then again I started as a bandwagon fan as well. The first game I ever watched was the Bills vs the Giants in that infamous Superbowl. I remember the Bills players looking on in despair at that last kick and thinking I hope they win it next year. Like to think after 25 years I've shaken the bandwagon thing though.

Thanks for circling the wagons down under. I was in your great city back in July.