Ramius Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 If it was my wife that ever did anything like that to one of our kids, she'd be lucky to have the cops get her before i did... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corp000085 Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 What do you call somebody with no legs or arms in the water? !@#$? Which reminds me of a joke: a beach lifeguard was making his rounds up the beach when he came across a paralyzed girl in a wheelchair crying. He walked up to her and asked what the matter what. She said "i'm so depressed. i'm 20 years old and i'm never been hugged by a guy before." The lifeguard looks around for a minute, and thinks what the heck... he bent over and hugged her. She smiled and was so happy that he'd made her day. The next day, he was making his rounds and came across this same girl. she was crying again. The lifeguard was like what the heck. So he went over and asked what the matter was. She said "i'm 20 years old and i've never been kissed." So, the guy said, well i guess i can help you out. He looked around to make sure that nobody was looking, bent over, and kissed her. She looked like the happiest girl in the world. The next day, it was the same situation. Girl crying really hard this time. So the lifeguard walks over and was slightly annoyed and asked what the problemm was. She said "i'm 20 years old and i'm a virgin. I'm never going to have sex with a man." Now the lifeguard was really annoyed. He looked around to make sure that nobody was looking, picked her up, threw her in the water, and said "you want to have sex? well there, now you're !@#$!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billsfanone Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 !@#$? Which reminds me of a joke: a beach lifeguard was making his rounds up the beach when he came across a paralyzed girl in a wheelchair crying. He walked up to her and asked what the matter what. She said "i'm so depressed. i'm 20 years old and i'm never been hugged by a guy before." The lifeguard looks around for a minute, and thinks what the heck... he bent over and hugged her. She smiled and was so happy that he'd made her day. The next day, he was making his rounds and came across this same girl. she was crying again. The lifeguard was like what the heck. So he went over and asked what the matter was. She said "i'm 20 years old and i've never been kissed." So, the guy said, well i guess i can help you out. He looked around to make sure that nobody was looking, bent over, and kissed her. She looked like the happiest girl in the world. The next day, it was the same situation. Girl crying really hard this time. So the lifeguard walks over and was slightly annoyed and asked what the problemm was. She said "i'm 20 years old and i'm a virgin. I'm never going to have sex with a man." Now the lifeguard was really annoyed. He looked around to make sure that nobody was looking, picked her up, threw her in the water, and said "you want to have sex? well there, now you're !@#$!" 130836[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 She'll get 3 years and some mental counseling.... if that... Dumb B word could have easily just clled her husband, priest, a friend... SOMETHING...and if you blame it on her being "disturbed", well if she was of sound mind enough to simply get dressed that day, she didnt need to saw her baby's arms off. I say cut her arms off and let her bleed to death. eye for an eye. 130606[/snapback] Actually steve....I am right on with you.... In these extreme types of circumstances we need to get medevial on peoples asses to show that this will not be tolerated... This #$%%% needs to be hung up...peeled like an onion....and then sprayed with salt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevestojan Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Ok, you want a tasteless joke? (I dont know how we turned this thread into a joke thread, but I digress): Jesus walks into a motel and puts 3 nails on the counter and asks the clerk, "could you put me up for the night?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billsfanone Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Ok, you want a tasteless joke? (I dont know how we turned this thread into a joke thread, but I digress): Jesus walks into a motel and puts 3 nails on the counter and asks the clerk, "could you put me up for the night?" 130846[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ch19079 Posted November 23, 2004 Author Share Posted November 23, 2004 since when did torturing the woman, seem like the popular thing to do??? i have to say some of yall have problems. but honestly, i found that joke about, no arms and no legs in water one of the funniest things ive heard in a while. try explaining to cooworkers why your lauphing so hard without telling them the joke... they might sue my ass.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_BiB_ Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 since when did torturing the woman, seem like the popular thing to do??? i have to say some of yall have problems. but honestly, i found that joke about, no arms and no legs in water one of the funniest things ive heard in a while. try explaining to cooworkers why your lauphing so hard without telling them the joke... they might sue my ass.... 130852[/snapback] The same kid in the park is called first base. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paco Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 While I have to admit this story is very disturbing, it is yet somehow a refreshing break from another "Here's a different way of saying the same thing" Ice thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevestojan Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 The same kid in the park is called first base. 130861[/snapback] The same one hanging on your wall is called Art. and the same one laying by your front door is Matt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevestojan Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 While I have to admit this story is very disturbing, it is yet somehow a refreshing break from another "Here's a different way of saying the same thing" Ice thread. 130863[/snapback] So, you'd rather hear a story of infanticide than ICE talking about how JP should start? I think I would, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Plastic Cup Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 What do you call a guy with no arms or legs... ...in front of the door? Matt ...in a ditch? Phil ...in your hot tub? Stu ...on your BBQ grill? Frank ...waterskiing Skip ...on a beach? Sandy ...in a pool? Bob What do you call his dog in the pool with no legs? Bob Barker ...on the wall? Art And what do you call his arms and legs? Pieces of Art What if he also doesn't have a tongue? Tasteless Art What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs... ...in a pile of leaves? Russell Same guy after 6 months? Pete What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs in the water? Swimming trunks What do you call two guys with no arms & no legs hanging on a wall? Curt 'n Rod What do you call a guy with no legs and one arm, holding up your car? Jack What do you call a guy with no feet? Neil What do you call a woman with one leg shorter that the other? Eileen An Asian woman with the same affliction? Irene After the operation? Noleen (and in honor of The Funny Farm...) What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with only 2 legs? Lean Ground Beef Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurman's Helmet Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 You could pull a Luca Brasi on her and take an axe and cut off her feet at the ankles, then cut off her lower legs at the knees, then her legs at the thigh mark etc.. I'm sure many of us here have gone through bouts of depression, since when does depression turn to not only homicidal rage but in torture and then homicide? Its bad enough to hear of people drowning their kids or asphyxiating them but this is about the worst thing I've heard in a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry Tate Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Really sad, but I'm not shocked. I'm not a psychiatrist or anything close to it, but I've seen enough of mental illness on an up-close, personal level to know that absolutely anything is possible. Unfortunately, much of it is also preventable, but is ignored until it's too late. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Darin Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Really sad, but I'm not shocked. I'm not a psychiatrist or anything close to it, but I've seen enough of mental illness on an up-close, personal level to know that absolutely anything is possible. Unfortunately, much of it is also preventable, but is ignored until it's too late. 130929[/snapback] Maybe we need a big government program to fix it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsNYC Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Oh yeah? What's pink, bubbly, and spins round and round? A baby in a microwave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billsfanone Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Oh yeah? What's pink, bubbly, and spins round and round? A baby in a microwave. 131025[/snapback] This thread went from depressing to uproarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Darin Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Oh yeah? What's pink, bubbly, and spins round and round? A baby in a microwave. 131025[/snapback] Dead baby jokes are funny. "Mommy, mommy" too. Mommy, Mommy, I'm tired of running in circles. Shutup, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_BiB_ Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Dead baby jokes are funny. "Mommy, mommy" too. Mommy, Mommy, I'm tired of running in circles. Shutup, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor. 131032[/snapback] Mommy Mommy I don't like Grandma! Shut up and keep eating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussiew Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 This thread went from depressing to uproarious! Not for me. It went right into the toilet. The jokes belong in a different thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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