It really is time for you to get over this.
Sven hated you and he left, on his own, to pursue his dream of farming charolais.
Sage got married and his wife now carries his balls around in her purse. Every once in a while she gives them back to him and he stops by to say "hi!" He never mentions you and I think he hates you too.
Your hamster is a hamster, and a stuupid one at that.
Your "bot" makes the worst cup of coffee that I have ever tasted.