MelissaInPhilly

Tomorrow my 17 year old Samantha is taking her SATs. She is a smart girl and I know she will do well. She wants to go to school in New York, and it saddens me to think that soon she will be going away. It seems like just yesterday she was a sweet curly-haired little toddler. Now she has grown into a lovely young lady who is getting ready to go to her prom and thinking about college. Where does the time go? She is a good kid who doesn't give me any problems (despite the usual annoying teenage things like talking on the phone all the time, being sloppy, etc.) I had so much fun with my children when they were small, those were the happiest years of my life. Those of you with little ones -- treasure these years, because they will be gone before you know it. Also my 48th birthday is tomorrow. It's hard to believe that in two years I'll be the BIG FIVE OH! When you get to be middle-aged you tend to look back not only at the things you've done, but things you wish you would have done, and it's kind of depressing. But in some countries, many people don't even have the privilege of reaching fifty because of war, disease, hunger, etc. So even though I am getting old, ancient, decrepit, etc., at least I'M NOT DEAD!

Where did you go to school? Yes, this is a big sports town, and sadly right now the sports teams (except the Flyers) are lousy!

Well, I'm sorry you didn't find this useful, but probably some others did. I know there are parents of teens here and prescription drug abuse rates are rising. As for being drunk being "fun," not a good idea for young women, or women in general, since this is when a lot of sexual assaults take place -- when one or both of the parties are substance-impaired. I don't know if you have any children, nieces, nephews, etc., but would you think it's amusing to see them stumbling around drunk, or worse, driving around drunk? I hope not.

There's a new fad among teenagers and those of college age -- taking "Xanies" (Xanax, a benzodiazepine often used to treat panic and anxiety disorders) and washing it down with cough syrup. The "pancakes" are the Xanax, and the cough syrup, of course, is the "syrup." I asked my doc about Xanax and she said that it is popular among drug users because it takes a very short time to start taking effect, depending on the individual's metabolism. The downside of this, however, is that it also wears off quickly. Thus the person must take more and more Xanax to get the same high that s/he originally had. There's not only a good chance the person will become addicted to the Xanax, drinking bottles and bottles of cough syrup can cause irreversible liver damage. I think it's sad that people feel the need to get high, stoned, wasted, etc., all the time. I don't pretend to be a paragon of virtue, but in college I would watch my fellow students come home from parties, stumbling, puking drunk, and wonder what enjoyment they got out of it. I've never been drunk in my life -- if I have more than two glasses of wine or beer, I just go to sleep (well, maybe this IS being drunk). I did smoke some weed once or twice but I thought so it smelled terrible (and I didn't inhale). Parents of adolescents really need to talk to kids about prescription drug abuse. My doc said that "benzos" in themselves aren't that dangerous, but when combined with alcohol or painkillers, especially synthetic opiates, can be FATAL.

As you know, the Flyers are playing the Sabres in the Stanley Cup. I've lived here in Philadelphia for twenty years, but I was raised in the Buffalo area. Should I be loyal to my "new" home town or my "old" home town? While everyone here was busy catching "Flyers Fever", I remain silent, not wishing to reveal my inner turmoil. Finally, after much agony, I have reached a decision. GO SABRES!

How many of you work with creeps, slackers, lunch stealers, clockwatchers, jerks, and other irritating folks? Well I have a coworker, "Joe," who takes the cake. We are both social workers for the city. When I first started working there Joe sits in the chair near my desk and tells me all his personal problems. I listened politely, but I'm saying to myself, "excuse me, but I don't want to hear this." Joe is single and always worrying about picking up "chicks." And he's 44 years old! He also has four cats. Now, I love cats, but when you have that many,I think you are getting into crazy-cat-person territory. Well anyway, we had to go on a field visit in what is politely called a "distressed" neighborhood. Anyway, Joe says that he has to go to the bathroom. I thought he was just going to go across the street to the McDonald's. Imagine my shock and disgust when he went in the bushes! Then we finally found the house we were looking for and then he says he has to go again and does it again! There were two women sitting on their porch and they looked at him like he was crazy. I thought this was very disrespectful not only to me, but to the people in the neighborhood. Just because you're poor doesn't mean you want people urinating on your street, Joe lives in a very nice apartment complex in a nice part of the city. I'm sure he wouldn't want people to p*ss in his bushes. Then on another occasion we were going to this home on a one-way street to place a child in a foster home. We had the city car, a big Dodge Caravan. So this idiot goes the wrong way down the one-way street! When I pointed this out to him, he said "oh, people will think we're the police." Uh, no. This vehicle just says "City of Philadelphia" on it and DOES NOT look like a police van. We're lucky we didn't get hit. Joe is always wondering why he doesn't get second dates. I feel like saying "because you are a creep and a weirdo, honey." Once he went out with this woman and she said not to call her for two months because she'd be busy. And after two months he actually called her! He just doesn't get it. Then there are these two women who sit near me who are actually nice, but they are desperate to get married and are always talking about men like two teenage girls--"oh, you know he didn't call me," etc. They sound like my 17 yr. old and one is 38 and the other is 42! I'm not a prude but sometimes their conversation turns very explicit -- like talking about the "ideal size for men" (and I'm not talking about height). Yes, they use words that rhyme with "sock," "stick," etc. I don't think these kind of conversations are suitable for the workplace. Just thinking -- if the men in the office talked this way about women, there would be an EEOC lawsuit quicker than you could say "Anita Hill."

Today we are going to go see my son in the RTF (residential treatment facility) where he is staying. Last week's visit didn't go well. He keeps on blaming everyone else for his problems. I told him if he doesn't behave well this time (is disrespectful, curses, etc.) he is not coming home for Easter weekend. This kid is increasing my gray hair count by 50 percent . . .

I was really enjoying these animal pictures until I saw your picture of your horrible, awful, nasty Maurice ratty-thing. It looks like it has rabies. Surely this is one of Satan's Creatures. In fact, I might even have a nightmare about it. Thanks alot!

I'm not sure, but since he was court-committed, I would be surprised if we had to pay for it. I don't like the idea of him being housed at taxpayer expense, but it would be a small investment compared to having to pay for him at Camp Hill, Graterford, or another prison in a few years, because that's the way he was heading.

Well, we had the hearing for my son Isaiah last Wednesday and the judge had no mercy -- he adjudicated him delinquent and ordered him to be placed in an RTF (residential treatment facility). Until a placement is found he is staying at a youth shelter. I was okay until they cuffed him, then I started to cry, No parent wants to see their kid in handcuffs. But what can I say? We gave him so many chances to turn it around, and he didn't. I went to see him and he seems like he's adjusting, but he still refuses to take the consequences of his actions -- his stealing, smoking weed, getting kicked out of school, getting arrested for underage drinking and vandalism, etc., is someone else's fault for some reason. He's only 15 so I'm hoping he will see the light, but right now he's got an extreme case of denial. He even asked me if I could bring him cigarettes. Uh, no. In spite of all the hell he's put me through, I still love my son. A part of me wanted to bring him home, but I know I can't. "Tough love" hurts. He also asked me if any of "his boys" called, and seemed surprised when I said "no." When will this dummy learn that these punks he hangs around with are not his friends? So keep those prayers coming and those fingers crossed, bcause I still need all the help I can get.

So she's fat, big deal. Why do all women have to be a size six? I'm sure not many of you look like Brad Pitt! I see some of you think Sasha Cohen is "hot" but she looks anorexic to me. Sorry, but I don't think protruding collar and hip bones are attractive.

I am trying to get a loan and have to list my (meager) assets. I have a 2003 Jetta with about 27,000 miles on it. I was in a minor fender bender about a year ago, but there was no major damage, so I would say it's in good shape. I own it free and clear, no payments. Any idea of what it is worth now?

Here in PA it depends on the judge and what the kid did. Usually only kids that commit felonies and/or violent crimes are sent to a locked facility. Some of these girls are worse than the boys.

Every try sorrel? It's also called dock. It's very tangy (some would say sour) but I like it.

Here's a hardiness zone map of Oregon: http://www.mgonline.com/zm_or.jpg Remember that there can be different "microclimates" even within a backyard, for example, one part may be shady and another very sunny, so just experiment and see what works for you.

I hate the Steelers too, Buckeye. Interestingly, even though Pittsburgh is in Pennsylvania, I don't see too much support for the Steelers. I guess people are still thinking about last year. One city, one team, one dream . . . . (sob)!

When was the last time we were on MNF? On second thought, maybe I don't want to know . . .

I've posted before about my 15 year old and all the problems I'm having with him. The latest is that he was expelled from public school and transferred to a disciplinary school. They keep him in line there, but he's not learning anything. Our next court date is February 22. We are going to ask that based on his history the judge will send him to a residential disciplinary school. It will break my heart, but I can't sit by and watch him ruin his life. There are some positive things about him -- he has a high mechanical aptitude and likes to work with his hands, he's a great athlete, good with animals. He's shown some interest in joining the military but his knucklehead friends told him he can join at 16 and you have to have graduated high school, right? Well anyway, keep us in your prayers.

What does the beer do?

Part of Oregon is actually in zone 6. You grow some good apples up there -- or is that Washington?

The weather outside is lousy, my throat is sore and my ears ache, and since I can't go to warm sunny place for a few weeks, I cheer myself up by looking at -- seed catalogs! Yes, I'm looking forward to the spring when I can go and work in my garden. I find it fun, relaxing, and therapeutic -- you can't stay pi$$ed off when you're picking tomatoes! Since I don't have alot of room here in the city, I do a lot of container gardening. I plant mostly flowers, but I'd like to try some veggies this year. I heard that bush beans, cukes, and some types of tomatoes grow well in containers. Growing up on Grand Island, we always had a nice garden. We grew cukes, melons, okra, peas -- nothing compares to the taste of home-grown produce. I'd like to hear from other gardeners, especially in USDA Zone 6.

Well, it finally happened -- my son and this big dumb blonde kid I'll call "John" were arrested for spraying graffiti on the back of a building (I refuse to call this vandalism "art.") We had a pre-hearing this week and the judge placed him on house arrest, meaning he can just come home and go to school (he can, of course, go out with me or his father). And of course, he can have no contact with "John." The first few days were fine but now my son is getting antsy -- it's hard to keep a 15 yr. old in the house and he wants to hang with his "boys." However, he acts up in school, or skips a class, or is disrespectful to me or his sister, he goes to the dreaded Youth Studies Center "aka Juvie," with all the felons and gangbangers. His hearing at family court is Feb. 22 and I don't think he will make it until then. "John's" mother continues to try to bail him out, but I am not one of those parents who makes excuses for their bad-a$$ kid -- if he has to go to juvie, he has to go, but it's not a nice place and I dont want to see it happen. So please, keep me in your prayers. Even though he has taken me through hell and back, I still love that kid. He doesn't have to be a heart surgeon or a rocket scientist, I just want him to straighten out and be a productive member of society. He's good with his hands and he likes cars -- maybe he could be an auto mechanic, they're always in demand. So far it's been the Winter of My Discontent. The Eagles sucked, the Bills were even lousier I'm tired and stressed, I have a be-atch of a supervisor, the list goes on and on. So perhaps someone should . . . JUST SHOOT ME!

Hello everyone, just letting you know I'm alive. Still hope to catch a Bills game, but they rarely show them around here. I came back from Bermuda a few weeks ago -- it was beautiful, but very expensive. We went to a supermarket and were shocked at the prices. An apple -- one apple -- was 85 cents, bus tokens were $2.50 one way. But it was worth it. Take care!

Well, doc, since you're dispensing free advice -- I have been having a great deal of pain in my right anke. I am talking persistent pain. It started in the summer and since it is very humid and hot here during that time of the year, I thought the joints were just swelling, but now it's cool and dry and I'm still in pain. I went to my family doc and she is sending me in for x-rays. I am going to call her tomorrow and ask her for a prescription for pain. I've tried over the counter analgesics and they don't help at all. I long time ago I went to a podiatrist and he told me that I had arthritis in my big toe (my toe doesn't bother me at all). I am just wonder if I could have arthritis and what treatment options are available. Thanks (if you want to bill, I do have private insurance)!

I agree, PJ. I don't understand people who wear vulgar T-shirts or have crude bumper stickers on their cars, for example: IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY DRIVING, CALL 1-800 EAT-S-**T. I've seen young women wearing t-shirts that say "too tired to !@#$. What kind of message are you sending out about yourself?