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Super Bowl Commercials


Ralonzo

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Back from roadwork and continuing the dubious tradition with a big plate of slimy nachos...

 

6:35pm:

 

1) Bud LIGHT Rock-Paper-Scissors. The first good Bud Light ad I've seen in a while.

2) Doritos Clumsy. She was hot though.

3) Blockbuster Movies with rodents. Meh. Don't do cute during a football game.

4) Katie Communic, and Prince.

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6:39pm

 

1) Sierra Mist Free beard combover. Brett Farve's shorts?

2) High-maintenance blond, uh oh. Salesgenie.com? Die spammer.

3) Sierra Mist. What if someone reaches for it? Here's your answer: Boot To The Head.

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6:48pm

 

1) Yoyota Tundra. If you want to keep my attention, lay off the brakes and show me what it looks like at the bottom of the canyon.

2) Fed ex. Moon office. That's a whole lot of money wasted on effects.

3) Bug Light wedding. Hah! Do they have a new ad agency this year? All their commercials were pretty crummy last year, but 2 for 2 this year.

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6:55pm

 

1) Snickers man-love. Ewwwww, I may never eat another one of those again.

2) Schick Quattro off da hizzy, old ad. I'm surprised we haven't added a blade or three since last year. We're due for 6 or 7 bladed razors, aren't we?

3) Black swimming team movie. Well, what the hell, Jamaica had bobsledders. Stand up to the evil and oppressive white butterfly strokers.

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6:58pm, back on the normal NFL commercial schedule

 

1) Chevy classic rock... was that Karen Allen? Guess she needs to do something for money. Well, something else.

2) Bud Light ESL class. That was a little politically correct eh? The one Mexican there was the teacher.

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7:15pm. Wow, that was an eternity.

 

1) Godaddy.com.... where are the boobs? There they are. How lame is a company where the first thing you think of when someone mentions them, is boobs?

2) Grand Coke Auto. This really could use Michael Douglas from Falling Down.

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7:29pm

 

1) Careerbuilder.com lemmings... what the hell was that supposed to be about?

2) Doritos with a Rosie O'Donnell clone at the checkout. Makes sense she's familiar with all the flavors, and probably all the queso too.

3) Disturbing car wash for Chevy. Thanks for convincing me to buy foreign again.

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7:35pm

 

1) Bud Light Smack My B!tch up. No, I don't know what it's about either, but the trend toward the Three Stooges in these Bud commercials is most welcome.

2) Heart, attacked. Beatyourrisk.com? Send me some of that hot Diabetes, and I'll beatsomethingelse.com

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7:38pm

 

1) Robot screw-up for GM. Jump! Man, that commercial might cause me to commit suicide. Not because a robot shows how, but because they brought back my repressed memory of "All By Myself" by Eric Carmen.

2) Coke celebrates Black History, Especially Today. Is something going on today on a par with the "I Have A Dream" speech or something?

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Is it just me, or are the commercials really sucking this year?

 

I don't know, I've liked several of the Bud Lights, and anybody mking allusions to Ultra-Man gets a virtual hi-five from me. Other than that, ya, there really hasn't been much to speak of.

 

I guess the commercials are on par with the game. Is this the Super Bowl, or Hot Potato?

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So far, the best thing I've seen during a commercial break has not been a commercial, but the Late Show promo with Dave in a Peyton Manning jersey...and Oprah in an orange Urlacher jersey, with Dave's arm around her.

 

"Honey, don't talk with your mouth full." :D

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8:47pm Someone wanna put up some hoops at either end of the field, for as much time as the ball is spending on the ground?

 

1) Office gladiators? Careerbuilders.com missing the mark again.

2) Taco Bell Lions. Khaaaaaan!

3) Van Heusen. Some guys just run footage in reverse during the Super Bowl and bore the piss out of everyone.

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8:58pm

 

1) Fed Ex Ground. Meh. They've been trying to reclaim the magic of the classic "Doomed" ad, but it ain't happening.

2) Who is this tool? Kevin Featherbrain? Oh, he's on fry patrol. THAT'S funny! Those Life Comes At You Fast ads were pretty decent last year too.

3) Bud Light slasher. I guess they blew their wad of quality in the first quarter.

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9:11pm

 

1) CBS spots. This must be the local break.

2) PNC bank, dull dull dull. Must be local.

3) Chevy underpowered SUV commercial. I swear more of these end up in the ditch during a storm than anyone else.

4) A bunch of Bush-bashing from a local pull-out-of-Iraq PAC. Thanks a lot, McCain & Feingold.

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9:14pm

 

1) Budweiser. She's got crabs. Wow that was dumb.

2) Prudential. Yes, Iraq can do a lot of things. Lame.

3) Old ad for lame Honda SUV that's as bloated as Elvis was in 1977. It's a pregnant Accord and nothing else.

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9:25 and Grossman just Grossman'd the Bears chances.

 

1) HP. Yawn.

2) Glacier golfin' for Izod. Not a new ad, but not a good one either.

3) Don Shula shilling Bud Select. That's a much better electric gridiron game though.

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9:51pm This should be it...

 

1) Hondas on the salt flats, not a new one.

2) Repeat of boobdaddy

3) Snapple Green Tea. Dammit, everybody's climbing on the green tea bandwagon now. I may have to quit drinking it since it's now trendy.

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ASTRO-FAVES:

 

1st Qtr.

Rock Paper Scissors Bud Lite 1st Place

Wedding Auctioneer Bud Lite 2nd Place

Tundra Racing Through Iron Door 3rd Place

 

2nd Qtr.

Fist Pump Replaced By Slapping 1st Place

Heart Guy vs. Blood Press., Cholest 2nd Place

Connectile Dysfunction Sprint Broadband 3rd Place

 

3rd Qtr.

Lions Pronounce Carne Asada Taco Bell 1st Place

Axe Murderer Hitchhiker Bud Lite 2nd Place

Fantasy Scene Coke 3rd Place

 

4th Qtr.

One Finger E-Trade 1st Place

It's Hard To Say Goodbye 1st Place Tie

Snapple EGCG "It's on the back of the bottle" 3rd Place

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