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Why no one will win the Superbowl


Swift Sylvan

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4. Cincinnati Bengals: Defense

Cincinnati's defense has been better in recent weeks, but there still is plenty of room for improvement. What they need to do is toughen up and make sure no one gets behind them. Those are also good rules of thumb for the Bengals when they go to prison.

 

Archie needs to make the NFL adopt an in-the-area rule like baseball has for the second base bag in turning double plays. Just think how much more accurate Eli would be if all he had to do was put the ball within three feet of his receiver for it to count as a completion. That would put his completion percentage way up near 61 or 62 percent.

 

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: <_< <_< :doh:

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6. The new Subway commercials with Michael Strahan and Jared are bizarre. The two yell "More meat!" and "Less fat!" back and forth at each other and then break into disturbingly sincere giggles. I'd like to see earlier takes of the commercial, though, from before the two developed their chemistry. I bet in the first run-through Jared yelled "Less fat!" and Strahan yelled back: "Say that to my face! Look a man in the eye before you disparage his sub. Come on. You have something to say about the nutritional value of your sandwich, then step up and say it to me like a man."

 

 

:rolleyes:<_<<_< Gold :rolleyes:

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The next few days will tell us if Joey Porter learned anything last week over the whole Kellen Winslow/homosexual slur incident. This Sunday he spent an entire day around the Carolina Panthers' cheerleaders and, unfortunately, I won't be surprised if it comes out that he had a few choice words for them. Hopefully, though, he just referred to them as "bicurious" or simply "beautiful, wonderful lesbians" and avoided any slurs.

 

<_<

:rolleyes: Carolina Cheerleaders

 

:rolleyes:

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