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LAMP: I ripped one in a meeting at work


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I was playing cards last night until about 1am with a group of people. Obviously, we were grilling some food and drinking plenty of beers. I did not feel all that "with it" when I woke up for work this morning. But I toughed it out and made it in...I mean, when are you not a little hungover for work on Friday, right?

 

So anyways, I was sitting at my desk in my office, and I let a little squeaker go that absolutely smelled horrible. I was the only one there and even I was horrified. It was a devilish mix of some grilled shrimp, steak, and Labatts Blue. I had to take a walk just to let it clear out a bit.

 

Of course, I have a meeting today from 10am-Noon. It is a year-end planning meeting, and there were about 12 people in there (including 3 women) and everyone is sitting at a big conference table. The guy running the meeting was sitting at the head of the table. He had a laptop in front of him and was taking the group through a powerpoint presentation which was projected onto a big screen on the wall.

 

So there I am, about an hour into this thing, and I could have farted about 15 times. But I held it in because I knew the smell would dominate everybody in these close quarters. But finally, I guess I either gave up, or I just wanted to see what everyone would do when the powerful odor made its presence felt. So I let a nice one go, silent but most certainly deadly. About 7 seconds after I let fly, I could smell it. It was the same, if not worse, than the one in my office. Absolutely horrible.

 

I just sat there following along with the presentation like nothing happened. I noticed some people start moving in their chairs a little bit. I heard a few sniffles. I saw some people looking at each other with the "What is that?" face. Then, the guy talking through the presentation just stopped and said, "Oh my God, who did THAT?" The whole room burst out laughing, and everyone was just looking and pointing at each other. I was sitting there, laughing like everyone else, saying it was disgusting, but of course not fessing up to it. I even saw one guy trying to pin it on one of the ladies. I was dying.

 

The guy who was running the meeting just got up, shook his head, opened the door for some air, and then sat back down and got on with the presentation.

 

I did not have the stones to cut another one loose; besides, I got my chuckle for the day. Oh man, the weekend cannot come soon enough...

 

:doh:

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Anytime Ghost.  What else am I gonna do?  Work?

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Why should you? I'm not. 4 day weekend for the military, and half the GS are gone. Out of an office of 29 I think there's three of us here, which is fixin' to be two in about 30 minutes as I watch it in my rearview mirror.

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Why should you? I'm not. 4 day weekend for the military, and half the GS are gone. Out of an office of 29 I think there's three of us here, which is fixin' to be two in about 30 minutes as I watch it in my rearview mirror.

469175[/snapback]

 

Four day? Does that include Tuesday? I am pretty pumped about having Monday off; I forgot about that until yesterday when someone told me. Definitely break out early-- I'm goin to the Sabres game tonight; the game's not till 8 but I'm using that as an excuse to leave at about 3:30. Enjoy!

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Four day?  Does that include Tuesday?  I am pretty pumped about having Monday off; I forgot about that until yesterday when someone told me.  Definitely break out early-- I'm goin to the Sabres game tonight; the game's not till 8 but I'm using that as an excuse to leave at about 3:30.  Enjoy!

469181[/snapback]

 

No, Fri-Mon. As a contractor, I'd have to take leave today and didn't want to burn it. Place is dead, though.

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I was playing cards last night until about 1am with a group of people.  Obviously, we were grilling some food and drinking plenty of beers.  I did not feel all that "with it" when I woke up for work this morning.  But I toughed it out and made it in...I mean, when are you not a little hungover for work on Friday, right?

 

So anyways, I was sitting at my desk in my office, and I let a little squeaker go that absolutely smelled horrible.  I was the only one there and even I was horrified.  It was a devilish mix of some grilled shrimp, steak, and Labatts Blue.  I had to take a walk just to let it clear out a bit.

 

Of course, I have a meeting today from 10am-Noon.  It is a year-end planning meeting, and there were about 12 people in there (including 3 women) and everyone is sitting at a big conference table.  The guy running the meeting was sitting at the head of the table.  He had a laptop in front of him and was taking the group through a powerpoint presentation which was projected onto a big screen on the wall.

 

So there I am, about an hour into this thing, and I could have farted about 15 times.  But I held it in because I knew the smell would dominate everybody in these close quarters.  But finally, I guess I either gave up, or I just wanted to see what everyone would do when the powerful odor made its presence felt.  So I let a nice one go, silent but most certainly deadly.  About 7 seconds after I let fly, I could smell it.  It was the same, if not worse, than the one in my office.  Absolutely horrible.

 

I just sat there following along with the presentation like nothing happened.  I noticed some people start moving in their chairs a little bit.  I heard a few sniffles.  I saw some people looking at each other with the "What is that?" face.  Then, the guy talking through the presentation just stopped and said, "Oh my God, who did THAT?"  The whole room burst out laughing, and everyone was just looking and pointing at each other.  I was sitting there, laughing like everyone else, saying it was disgusting, but of course not fessing up to it.  I even saw one guy trying to pin it on one of the ladies.  I was dying.

 

The guy who was running the meeting just got up, shook his head, opened the door for some air, and then sat back down and got on with the presentation. 

 

I did not have the stones to cut another one loose; besides, I got my chuckle for the day.  Oh man, the weekend cannot come soon enough...

 

:doh:

469163[/snapback]

 

The same thing happened to me one time, only I wasn't in a meeting I was in the midst of fifty person tour at the Mammouth Caves in Kentucky. We were walking through the really narrow part known as "Fat Man's Misery" when a few stinky ones started to inch out of me. Then all of a sudden this guy behind me said, "Someone is ripping 'em in here!" I immediately started laughing. He knew it was me but I think he thought it was pretty funny. I probably could have held it, but I really thought that farting in such a closed quarters with so many people around was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Carpe Diem!

 

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/94/1130/1024/IMG_5010.jpg

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You guys ABSOLUTELY should try my baked bean recipe. Goes well with deviled eggs and plenty of beer. Try to go someplace the next day that has long elevator rides.

469244[/snapback]

There's a BBQ joint I pass on my way home everyday, it has a big sign outside that says

"free gas, with purchase of beans"

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Hell, I started laughing my asss off as soon as I saw the title......fart humor RULES!! :doh:

 

You guys know how "women never fart"? Well, one of my ex's used to tell this to me all the time. I knew the truth in her case though, but unfortunately all my evidence occurred when she was asleep....so it always ended up like some X-files episode....one of us knew the truth was out there, but the other could always explain it away. Well, what would happen was I would get up to get a drink or hit the bathroom or something around 3am. We were on different schedules, so while I was relatively coherent at that time, she was well into her REM cycles. Well, I'd be lying there in bed all comfortable, taking my time contemplating getting out of bed to do whatever. The SECOND I would take the covers down to get out, "wwwwwwooooOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFZZZZZZ", the damn Dutch Oven kicked it BIG time. It was like this resevoir of gas just building up under the sheets until I gave it just the right time to strike....and lordy, did it ever strike. She would always deny it the next morning, of course.....all women do.....but I knew the real story.

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