The Poojer Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 I heard a song by the old 80's band, and only one thing popped in my head...lets see how many others are as warped as I..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRH Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 With what sport is Wimbledon most commonly associated? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fezmid Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Stabbing of Monica Seles? Carry on... 410816[/snapback] She wasn't stabbed at Wimbledon, she was stabbed on some court in Germany. CW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 She wasn't stabbed at Wimbledon, she was stabbed on some court in Germany. CW 410825[/snapback] Post deleted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cugalabanza Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Does anybody else not know what this thread is about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 beautiful! With what sport is Wimbledon most commonly associated? 410812[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted August 18, 2005 Author Share Posted August 18, 2005 Cut to commentator in his box. Commentator Well, here at Wimbledon, it's been a most extraordinary week's tennis. The blancmanges have swept the board, winning match after match. Here are just a few of the results: Billie-Jean King eaten in straight sets, Laver smothered whole after winning the first set, and Poncho Gonzales, serving as well as I've never seen him, with some superb volleys and decisive return volleys off the back hand, was sucked through the net at match point and swallowed whole in just under two minutes. And so, here on the final day, there seems to be no players left to challenge the blancmanges. And this could be their undoing, Dan: as the rules of Wimbledon state quite clearly that there must be at least one human being concerned in the final. (we see a three-foot-high blancmange being shepherded onto a tennis court by a Scotsman) Well the blancmange is coming out onto the pitch now, and (suddenly exalted) there is a human with it. It's Angus Podgorny! The plucky little Scottish tailor ... upon whom everything depends. And so it's Podgorny versus blancmange in this first ever Intergalactic Wimbledon! Cut to the centre court at Wimbledon or if we can't get it, number one will do. Blancmange and Podgorny on opposite sides net. Another blancmange sitting in umpire's chair. Blancmange serves... a real sizzling ace. Podgorny, who in any case is quivering with fear, doesn't see it. Commentator's Voice And it's blancmange to serve and it's a good one. Blancmange Umpire Blurb blurble blurb. Voice Over Fifteen love. Blancmange serves again, and again Podgorny misses hopelessly and pathetically. Collage of speeded-up versions of blancmange sewing and Podgorny missing. Cut to scoreboard: BLANCMANGE: 40 PODGORNY: 0 Cut back to the court. Podgorny is serving and each time he fails to hit the ball altogether. Commentator's Voice And Podgorny fails to even hit the ball ... but this is no surprise as he hasn't hit the ball once throughout this match. So it's 72 match points to the blancmange now... Podgorny prepares to serve again. Podgorny fails to serve and we see the scoreboard: BLANCMANGE: 6 6 5 40 PODGORNY: 0 0 Commentator's Voice This is indeed a grim day for the human race, Dan. Just as Podgorny is about to serve we see Mr and Mrs Brainsample jump onto the court brandishing forks and spoons and with napkins tucked into their necks. Commentator's Voice But what's this? Two spectators have rushed onto the pitch with spoons and forks... what are they going to do? Cut to laboratory. Charles They mean to eat the blancmange. The girl pulls herself up from where she was slumped by microscope. He knocks her out again with a sand-filled sock. Cut back to Wimbledon. Mr and Mrs Brainsample chasing blancmange and eating it. Commentator's Voice And they're eating the blancmange ... Yes! The blancmange is leaving the court... it's abandoning the game! This is fantastic! Cut to Mr and Mrs Brainsample covered in bits of blancmange and licking their fingers. American Voice Yes it was Mr and Mrs Samuel Brainsample, who, after only a brief and misleadling appearance in the early part of the film, returned to save the Earth ... but why? Mr Brainsample Oh, well you see we love blancmanges. My wife makes them. American Voice She makes blancmanages that size? Mr Brainsample Oh, yes. You see we're from the planet Skyron in the Galaxy of Andromeda, and they're all that size there. We tried to tell you at the beginning of the film but you just panned off us. Cut back to Podgorny on court still trying to serve; at last he makes contact and runs backward and forward to receive his own services. American Voice So the world was saved! And Angus Podgorny became the first Scotsman to win Wimbledon... fifteen years later. Does anybody else not know what this thread is about? 410827[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reuben Gant Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 [Jules, Vincent and Jimmie are drinking blancmange in Jimmie's kitchen] Jules: Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet sh*t! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried blancmange, but he springs this serious GOURMET blancmange on us! What flavor is this? Jimmie: Knock it off, Jules. Jules: [pause] What? Jimmie: I don't need you to tell me how fuggin good my blancmange is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys SH*T. Me, I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the blancmange in my kitchen, it's the dead blancmange in my garage. Jules: Oh, Jimmie, don't even worry about that... Jimmie: No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Blancmange Storage? Jules: Jimmie, you know I ain't seen no... Jimmie: Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Blancmange Storage? Jules: [pause] No. I didn't. Jimmie: You know WHY you didn't see that sign? Jules: Why? Jimmie: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead blancmanges ain't my fuggin business, that's why! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Tomcat Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Does anybody else not know what this thread is about? 410827[/snapback] Pronunciation: (blu-mänj', -mänzh'), [key] —n. 1. a sweet pudding prepared with almond milk and gelatin and flavored with rum or kirsch. 2. a sweet, white pudding made with milk and cornstarch and flavored with vanilla. I still don't know what this thread is about.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt in KC Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 I don't usually post to say a topic isn't working for me, and it usually bothers me when other do that, but... WTF is this? Here's what I found (top link at Google): http://www.partium.com/~andrewb/blancmange/ Those look like avatar opportunities.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous Guy Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Pronunciation: (blu-mänj', -mänzh'), [key] —n. 1. a sweet pudding prepared with almond milk and gelatin and flavored with rum or kirsch. 2. a sweet, white pudding made with milk and cornstarch and flavored with vanilla. I still don't know what this thread is about.... 410946[/snapback] ever watch Monty Python? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#89 Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRH Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 beautiful! 410831[/snapback] Believe it or not, we actually did this sketch as a one-act play our senior year in high school. "Oh Angus, how are we going to get forty-eight million kilts into the van?" "I'll have to do it in two goes." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRH Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 Oh bloody hell. Start here and keep reading. Honestly, don't any of you wankers watch Python anymore? The best part during our one-act happened with this exchange: Detective Well that's a relief. 'Cos if you were, your story would be less plausible. (detective brings out photograph of blancmange) Now then, do you recognize THIS?Angus (with a squeak of fear) Oh yes. That's the one that ate my Mary! The script called for the detective to whip a photo out of his wallet and show it to Angus. Well, the detective whipped out a photo alright -- a nudie playing card. In front of a packed auditorium, who couldn't see the card. It was all Angus could do to cover his face and say "That's the one that ate me Mary!" without cracking up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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