Cowboys DE Marshawn Kneeland passes away - 24 yrs old.

[H2o]

27 minutes ago, ChronicAndKnuckles said:

I hope the NFL does right by his family, but they probably won’t. 

I actually believe that Jerry will do right by his family in this case. 

[3rdand12]

Hope he gets to Heaven just the same or wherever souls need to go for healing and redemption 😇 
 

Thank you all here who have compassion, empathy , and actually gaf about others struggles

Thank you even more for all my Friends here that gave themselves up with honesty

 and then told a feel good story 🧡

We count our blessings every Day. If we miss out ? We look to the next day to remind Us of our purpose !
Today was a reminder in many ways

Luv ya's All

Edited 2 hours ago by 3rdand12

[boyst]

24 minutes ago, TheWei44 said:

Same here - Tough stuff for sure and generally leaves lots of unanswered questions.  Glad many folks are being so open on this thread.

There was a guy I knew. Looking back now in my mid 40's it's much different to think about... But I probably do every single day.

 

He was my brother's best friend, at our house every day from 13 yrs old until 18 and going off to college. He was an all state football player, wrestled at an all state level at heavyweight despite weighing only about 220-225#. He was 5'10 so he never got looks despite Notre Dame saying he could walk on with preferred status.  He was an all academic student at the prestigious Catholic school. He was my hero. I wanted to be an athlete like him, I wanted to be as smart, as strong, as popular.

 

All the time I knew him I never knew until it was too late that he had a mental disorder. I was 5 years younger than him - and getting ready for school I will never forget the moment in the shower I heard my mom scream a noise and pain I will carry with me forever. Nick took his life.

 

That whole day I was lost. I remember grabbing a pair of pants and a T-shirt. I got to school my sophomore year (public not the catholic school) and someone noticed I looked homeless, my pants too small and shirt wrinkled and a mess. I remember them looking at me and laughing and only feeling more pain. I could have been knocked over by a breeze. The school found out what happened and had me meet with counselors all day.  I was numb. 

 

My hero killed himself. How would i who was never as good of a person as him ever make it in the world if he couldn't? What right do I have to keep living if he chose not to? These were literal thoughts I had and I remember all of them and the pain. I remember people I know from my school finding out, friends who knew his family, everyone was so sad. I remember the funeral and Simon & Garfunkel "I am an Island" came on. I remember that song speak to me to tell me how he felt and how much pain he has and now the pain he gave me. 

 

I didn't want to play football anymore. I didn't want to do anything. Nor did his brothers. His brother. Did end up playing the rest of the season (his junior season) and went on to play at Penn State (4 yr starter as a true freshman) and 3-4 yrs for the Colts. His other brother kicked for the team and went to med school. This whole seemingly perfect family, the kindest people who embraced the community was stricken with tragedy. 

 

The pain he felt didn't go away when he died. It merely was passed to all of us.

 

Beyond that, a former boss killed himself. My brothers other friend who was friends with him got drunk and killed himself in a wreck but was an ####### and killed 2 others in the process, my neighbor killed himself on his front porch (I ended up power washing his blood and some remains off the porch for the family), and maybe 3-4 OD'd on purpose that I've known.

 

Never have I seen the pain end when you take your own life.