dayman Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 (edited) ...he finds out his wife has been in a bad car accident. He rushes to the hospital in a frantic and emotional state having no idea what her condition is or what to expect. The doctor approaches him in the waiting area and says: DOCTOR: "Look...it's always tough to say this....I've got bad news, it was a VERY bad accident. I'm so sorry but your wife will be crippled from the neck down. You'll have to feed her. You'll have to bath her. You'll have to clear out every passage for her. You'll even have to change her because she has no control over her bladder or bowels." MAN : (crying hysterically) "THIS IS TERRIBLE" DOCTOR: "Awe jesus christ man, pull yourself together. I'm sorry, I was just ****ing with you SHE'S DEAD!" (got any more?) Edited April 25, 2011 by dayman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frostbelt City Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? A: You only need one nail to hang up a picture of Jesus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Movinon Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 ...he finds out his wife has been in a bad car accident. He rushes to the hospital in a frantic and emotional state having no idea what her condition is or what to expect. The doctor approaches him in the waiting area and says: DOCTOR: "Look...it's always tough to say this....I've got bad news, it was a VERY bad accident. I'm so sorry but your wife will be crippled from the neck down. You'll have to feed her. You'll have to bath her. You'll have to clear out every passage for her. You'll even have to change her because she has no control over her bladder or bowels." MAN : (crying hysterically) "THIS IS TERRIBLE" DOCTOR: "I'm just ****ing with you she's dead." Ehh, I like the way it's told to Peter in Family Guy much better... (got any more?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HereComesTheReignAgain Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 (edited) A guy goes into the pharmacy and tells the pharmacist that he needs to buy some condoms for his 11 year old daughter. The pharmacist is shocked and asks "sir, is your 11 year old daughter sexually active?" "no she just lays there like her mother!" he replies Why does a bride wear white? Because the dishwasher should match the refrigerator and the stove. Edited April 25, 2011 by chknwing334 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 A guy goes into the pharmacy and tells the pharmacist that he needs to buy some condoms for his 11 year old daughter. The pharmacist is shocked and asks "sir, is your 11 year old daughter sexually active?" "no she just lays there like her mother!" he replies Why does a bride wear white? Because the dishwasher should match the refrigerator and the stove. why does a bride smile so much walking down the alter? She knows she will never have to give another blowjob again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 A dyslexic man walks into a bra............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erynthered Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 The other day I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my MAGIC GREEN HAT. When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all. Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time. Here's my hat. http://image.shutter...nd-17990362.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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