Jerry Christ Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I am always amazed by how much people lean on their family... Maybe it is because the closest family that we have is over 500 miles away and we have two children (7 and 11)... Both of us also work 40+ hours a week (I do admit being blessed with 2 great jobs) before and after our children were born and continue to do that. Sometimes I wonder how the hell we did it... It is basically just us four as a family. Maybe that is why we don't have problems with the in-laws... Sure we talk every 3 or 4 weeks (with the in-laws)... It's just that they can't meddle... Yet, they probably wouldn't. Sometimes I think the more crutches that are given, the more headaches and problems there are. Well, I don't lean on anyone lol never have but to say it never is possible would be something I'd only be making assumptions. Most people who have kids or grandkids want their families to be involved. I find it kind of sad that most of the people on here live that far away from their families or don't see their family that much. I visit my family every week and my wife actually is disappointed if she has to work when I go see them. Her family lives in the same neighborhood and we visit atleast once a week together besides when she goes to see them. 3 or 4 weeks is crazy, might as well just see them yearly LOL Seriously, man I don't think I could forgive myself if something happen to them and I didn't get to see them that often and miss alot of important times in my family lives but I'm young so I guess I think different. (no kids yet, one on the way) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Well, I don't lean on anyone lol never have but to say it never is possible would be something I'd only be making assumptions. Most people who have kids or grandkids want their families to be involved. I find it kind of sad that most of the people on here live that far away from their families or don't see their family that much. I visit my family every week and my wife actually is disappointed if she has to work when I go see them. Her family lives in the same neighborhood and we visit atleast once a week together besides when she goes to see them. 3 or 4 weeks is crazy, might as well just see them yearly LOL Seriously, man I don't think I could forgive myself if something happen to them and I didn't get to see them that often and miss alot of important times in my family lives but I'm young so I guess I think different. (no kids yet, one on the way) We make trips back every 2 months. We are just more independent orientated. What I was commenting on is how our society comes to expect that our parents take an more active role in raising their grand children (picking them up from school, watching them like day care, etc...). This concept is beyond me, heck, my grandparents didn't even drive and my parents were the one's to take care of them. Now it is the other way around... I know families that actually have their bills paid for by the parents. Again, the sad part is that this behavior is actually looked upon as being acceptable. I must be a throwback. I am reaching middle life... I am the one who should be shouldering the burden. Just my oipinion on why there may be so many issues. I don't necessarily blame a generation, but the boomers sure have flipped the tables on how long they stay innvolved in their childrens lives. We are becoming less independent and more interdependent. There is good and bad to this. I am not judging anyone... Don't take it that way... It just seems strange to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDawkinstein Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I am always amazed by how much people lean on their family... Maybe it is because the closest family that we have is over 500 miles away and we have two children (7 and 11)... Both of us also work 40+ hours a week (I do admit being blessed with 2 great jobs) before and after our children were born and continue to do that. Sometimes I wonder how the hell we did it... It is basically just us four as a family. Maybe that is why we don't have problems with the in-laws... Sure we talk every 3 or 4 weeks (with the in-laws)... It's just that they can't meddle... Yet, they probably wouldn't. Sometimes I think the more crutches that are given, the more headaches and problems there are. that is the classic family trade-off. any help they provide just gives them more reason to think they can tell you how to live your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 that is the classic family trade-off. any help they provide just gives them more reason to think they can tell you how to live your life. Exactly. Somebody will always take ownership. That is sort of a good thing, it just has to be balanced well by all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Riverside Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 It was 2 years after my father had passed. You don't snap on kids. Period. Yeah I think posters got the impression that she snapped during a "grieving period" nc.....but I was thinking it might have happened later. The thing is.....the grandmother should feel bad that she snapped like that and apologized. People are wierd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCDAWG Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 Yeah I think posters got the impression that she snapped during a "grieving period" nc.....but I was thinking it might have happened later. The thing is.....the grandmother should feel bad that she snapped like that and apologized. People are wierd And I don't care about how my Mom feels towards me, but I wish she would take responsibility for her actions with my daughter. And yes it was over 2 years after my Dad had passed. I don't understand how some people can go through life without saying I'm sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerry Christ Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 We make trips back every 2 months. We are just more independent orientated. What I was commenting on is how our society comes to expect that our parents take an more active role in raising their grand children (picking them up from school, watching them like day care, etc...). This concept is beyond me, heck, my grandparents didn't even drive and my parents were the one's to take care of them. Now it is the other way around... I know families that actually have their bills paid for by the parents. Again, the sad part is that this behavior is actually looked upon as being acceptable. I must be a throwback. I am reaching middle life... I am the one who should be shouldering the burden. Just my oipinion on why there may be so many issues. I don't necessarily blame a generation, but the boomers sure have flipped the tables on how long they stay innvolved in their childrens lives. We are becoming less independent and more interdependent. There is good and bad to this. I am not judging anyone... Don't take it that way... It just seems strange to me. Yeah I understand what you are saying but I think more and more people are wanting their parents to be involved with their children because they did not get to see their own grandparents enough. Also, I believe alot of people don't just trust anyone with their baby/kids if you know what I am saying since you hear alot of about the mistreatment in daycares. Also, look at the price of that ish! and in the recession that we are currently in, you might have to just take your kids to work with you! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 And I don't care about how my Mom feels towards me It seems like you have some issues that go waaay beyond whatever was said on one occasion between your mother and daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCDAWG Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 It seems like you have some issues that go waaay beyond whatever was said on one occasion between your mother and daughter. You seem to have issues with it. I do not. What I was infering is that in the scope of the situation that occured, that my feelings are secondary to my daughters' and my mothers'. That is it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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