ieatcrayonz

Do all the girls in your avatars wear their ages on their t-shirts?

Kirk met his chicks on myspace.com. Picard used eharmony.com Advantage: Riker

He ought to know. It's his list of "partners".

I am wishing for the best for Barbaro but am starting to wonder about the care he is receiving. He had 6 hours of surgery and is supposedly worth millions. Allegedly he is at the best hospital in the world for his condition. If this place is so great, why do they have a special needs kid taking care of Barbaro? I think this is a great thing but very risky with such an expensive animal. I hope this works

You're so funny. I had too long a night to put up with your ignorant comments about food. The funny noises and voices still go on and on all night and Sammy's evil twin is still here. I think he may be holding Sammy hostage though. I keep finding empty silica packets everywhere. I hope Sammy is still alive. I'd pay ransom from my Derby money but the evil twin has not made any demands.

I have to agree with Salisbury this time. I'm not really happy at all. We still have no offensive line and our free agency period was a joke. I'll wait to see the product on the field, but at this point I think we are in no better shape than we were last year at this point.

This stopped being shown around the same time Ed stopped showing up around here? Maybe they became unpersons like in the book 1974.

I heard somewhere, I think it was NPR, that Da Vinci was ticked at the pope because he got a crappy tip when he painted the celestine chapel's ceiling. He wrote this code to get back at the pope. The whole thing is just a fake for a bad tip.

Fork you and the tune you rode in on.

I think you are confusing the politics board with the fetish board.

My mistake. This whole Sammy thing has my brain spinning. Thanks for correcting me but now I have another question. Do you think that pitcher guy Levon Hernandez is named after the song? Personally I doubt it because Hernandez is hispanic and I don't think Elton was ever really big in Hispania.

Does anyone else think that LeBron James parents probably named him after that Elton John song? "LeBron likes his money.....he has a lot they say" Funny how things turn out huh? I wonder if the Cavs will run a promotion and sell cartoon balloons at the games.

Nice work pulling out the ancient Robert Plant.

Are you saying I made this up? Believe me I don't want to be haunted by Sammy's evil twin. I can't eat, I can't sleep, and my stock portfolio has lost 1.62 million in the last two days due to lack of attention. Granted that's only .00236%, but still.

The best comic by far is Richard Prior. Lenny Bruce, Bill Cosby and Emo Phillips were also quite good.

What a night. I discovered that the ghost voice was not a ghost at all. Last evening I came over to my computer and low and behold there was a hamster on my keyboard. He looked just like Sammy. I snuck up behind him with a rolled up newspaper and tried to knock him out. He was too quick and kept scurrying around on the keyboard while I whacked at him. He finally jumped behind the bookcases in the study. I chased him all night. The study, library, pool room, aquarium room, bar, and driving range. I almost caught him in the viewing theatre. Now I'm off the trail. Clearly it has been Sammy's evil twin behind this thing the whole time. I doubt that it was Sammy talking at all. It was the twin. He hung Sammy to get me in trouble. I'm not sure of his motive but I am on to him now. I need some sleep but am going to take a sauna first. This is the last thing I need on my birthday.

You're a broken record.

Bright green, but that's from eating the crunch berries for the last week or so. You think I'm kidding? Try it.

Now we know what Ed's been doing for the last month.

You won't believe this. All night I slept on and off. I kept hearing creepy noises in the estate. I figured I was just distraught over Sammy. At 4:04 AM I called out who's there; what's that? I heard Sammy's voice say. "It's the ghost of Sammy and I'm going to get you"! I must have fainted right away beacuse I woke up now. Here is the terrifying part. I had 5 empty silica gel packets in my right hand and there was a fish head on my pillow.

Hoo boy what a day. I've been incarcetated all day for killing Sammy. I would never do that. I kept telling them about the silica gel and depresssion over and over and over but they didn't believe me. They roughed me up pretty good. They gave me three polygram tests and I must have passed them because they looked angry and confused every time. Then they gave me a shot of sodium pentagon and asked me some more questions. After that they let me go. I wanted to give Sammy a proper burial but he was gone when I got home. They must have taken the body for an arthroscopy. I'm going to sleep this off right now.

This is awful. Awful. I was at the fridge and heard a noise from the other room. When I went in Sammy had hung himself fom the light fixture using dental floss. I don't know how he would have got the floss. Maybe the silica had a subliminalogical effect or he just couldn't handle the pressure of being the only talking hamster in the world. I feel very sad for Sammy and I won't be eating any gel. I'm pouring my heart out here. Wait a minute. Someone is at the door.

Sammy update: Sammy is in his cage with the door closed. Three more packets down and two more bottles of water. He's sleeping. Maybe he was in there the whole time and I just didn't see him. That door comes loose from time to time.

Uh oh.....trouble. When I got back from JC Penny with the packets I went right to Sammy's cage. No Sammy and the door was wide open. I have been hearing funny noises in here all night. I can't find him anywhere.

Sammy Flash: You are NOT going to believe this one. I was watching TV this morning and I hear a voice from the other room say: HEY! HEY! GET IN HERE. I live alone so my first thought was that I had again forgotten to kick some chick to the curb after we were done. But the voice was a little different. As I went past the dining room table on my way upstairs to investigate, I heard the voice again. HEY! I looked over and the only thing there was Sammy in his cage. I started to walk away and Sammy stood up and yelled at me. I can't tell you what he said because it was a bad word. After almost fainting I asked him how the heck he could talk. He said to never mind that and asked why I fed him the gel. He said "It says right on there DO NOT EAT." Then I asked him why he ate it. He said he could't read until he ate it. I pointed out it was a good thing because now he could read and told him to stop eating it if he wanted. He said NO IT'S ADDICTIVE YOU TWIT. I NEED MORE. I said it was worth it because hamsters ususally can't talk or read. He screamed at me very loudly "I AM NOT A FRIGGIN HAMSTER YOU IDIOT. I AM A GERBIL." I have already come to a few conclusions from my silica gel experiment. 1. It doesn't make you super strong, it makes you super smart. No wonder the government says do not eat. They want to hold us back. I bet chinese people eat it all the time. They're all so smart. 2. In addition to making you smart it makes you mean. Sammy was always nice before. Now he's mean. Real mean. 3. Although it makes you smart it doesn't make you smart at everything. When I pointed out to Sammy that Hamster was just another word for Gerbil he could not grasp the concept. He said that Hamsters and Gerbils were different but I pointed out the words were just different. I even used the words "air" and "oxygen" as an example and he just got more angry. He told me I would pay. 4. I think he was right about paying. How many pairs of shoes am I going to have to buy to keep Sammy going? I've never stolen anything before but I think I'm going to go to JC Penny and stuff my pockets with gel. I'll keep you up to date.