Take the altoids and crush them up with the bent fork. Rub into the wound vigorously with the aluminum cooking utensils. Then with the knives, cut down all the flora in the adirondack mountains that you can...chop up and soak in stream water. Then with the nylon fabric and misc clothing, play dress up and put on a snappy little play. Hook up the Ipod to the injured person with the corkscrew and dessenex, this is to monitor vitals. And if all that does not work you still have 30 foot of rope to hang yourself.