Oh Heavenly Father, maker of Heaven and Earth, thank you SO MUCH for FOOTBALL! You have proven your power (once again!) by seeing us all through these dark months of basketball, baseball, golf, cricket, and the other comparitively meaningless "sports".
Oh Sweet Shephard, maker of beer and salsa (Thanks again!), please note that MY team worships you above all else, while the other teams know NOT you. Rumor has it that ALL the players on ALL the other teams, enjoy sodomy and live in Gomorrah (just west of Maimi!). Amen.