R. Rich

Psycho Ward 86 and I had ours at Bertucci's. They need a funnier name.

Maybe we should meet there for lunch sometime, Chris.

I'll be at Lot 1, Pole 6. Hammer's Lot is just for the opener.

I'll just drink iced tea.

Thanks. I think.

I'll do even better than that, since you say you'll be in town for the Arizona game.

Oh, no! Not "them"! Anything but that!!

Now, now. Be nice. They probably just don't know me. [Hint: take a look at my profile. That'll give you a clue as to how racist I am.]

A classic skit, to be sure. The exploding head was a nice touch. I bought season one when it came out and I'll be sure to do the same when season 2 is released.

That's what I'm talking about, EZC. What a great scene.

I am? Whatever. Many of the regulars on this board know me and know just how serious my posts are on this issue. Those who have never met me or don't know me probably just don't get it.

No. I'm not blind, nor am I racist.

No wonder.

Oh. I couldn't remember which one it was from. Caddyshack had a ton of good one liners from Rodney, especially the scene at the dinner party.

Oh, that was your place? I was looking for Jay Rosen.

Good one. That's from Back To School, right?

Isn't it obvious? There's nobody more racist than me.

Even more: Q: Did you hear about the new tires, Firestein? A: They not only stop on a dime, they also pick it up! Q: What would you call a bloodthirsty Jew on a rampage? A: Genghis Cohen. Q: What did they call the new Jewish-Japanese restaurant? A: "So-Sue-Mi." Q: Define: Genius A: A "C" student with a Jewish mother. Jewish people are the most optimistic people in the world. They have some cut off before they even know how big it will get. Q: In the Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become a human? A: When it graduates from med school. 5761 Year according to Jewish calendar 4698 Year according to Chinese calendar 1063 Total # of years that Jews went without Chinese food Q: What do you call ten Jewish women in a basement? A: A whine cellar. Q. What is the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? A. In a crucifixion, they throw out the whole Jew. Q: What's the definition of a queer Jew? A: Someone that likes girls more than money.

That's on Season One.

You forgot a few: Q: Why are aspirins white? A: Because they work. Q: How did the black girl know her mother was on the rag? A: Her brothers dick tasted funny. Q: What has six legs and goes: "Ho-de-do, ho-de-do, ho-de-do"? A: Three blacks running for the elevator. Q: What's the definition of the word "Confusion"? A: Father's day in Harlem. Q: Do you know why so many blacks were killed in Vietnam? A: Because every time the seargeant said: "Get down!" they stood up and started dancing. Q: What did God say when he saw the first black person? A: Ooops, I burnt one! Q: Why is Stevey Wonder Smiling all the time? A: He doesn't know he's black. Q: Blacks took over Toys R us. A: The renamed it to We B toys. Q: A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. A: It's called Nacho Mama. Q: What do you get when you cross an Eskimo with a black person? A: A Snowblower that Doesn't work! Q: What do you call an Negro with a peg leg? A: stevestojan on a stick. Q: What does an apple and a Negro have in common? A: They both look soooo pretty hanging from a tree. Q: How do you starve a black man? A: Put his food stamps in his work boots. Q: Why don't blacks like Tylenol? A: They have to pick cotton to get to them. Q: What did the black women get for getting an abortion? A: Fat cash from crime stoppers. Q: What does a black person get for Christmas? A: Your bike!!! Q: How do you keep black people out of your back yard? A: Hang one in the front!! Q: What is the difference between a black and a bucket of stevestojan? A: The bucket. Q: Why do you never hit a black on a bike? A: Because it is probably your bike. Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Because their knee grows. Q: Why do black people wear hats covering their face? A: So the birds don't stevestojan on their lips. Q: What is white with a black !@#$? A: The A-Team Q: How many black people does it take to single a roof? A: Depends on how thin you slice um. Q: How many black people does it take to pave a road? A: Depends on how heavy the roller is. Q: When is the only time u concentrate on a black man. A: Behind the eyepiece of your rifle. Q: What's the difference between batman and a blackman? A: Batman can go to the store with out robin. Q: What's the difference between stevestojan and a black? A: Eventually stevestojan turns white and stops stinking. Q: Is it better to be born black or gay? A: Black - because you don't have to tell your folks. Q: How do they say "!@#$ you" in Los Angeles? A: Trust me. Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: An interracial couple in a car wreck. Q: How many blacks does it take to clean a toilet? A: None, it's a woman's job. Q: What's the definition of black foreplay? A: Don't scream or I'll kill you. Q: How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black? A: Ever try and take a rib from a black. Q: Who won the race down the tunnel, the black or the Pole? A: The Pole because the black had to stop to write "mother!@#$er" on the wall. Q: What do you get when you cross a black and a groundhog? A: 6 more weeks of basketball season. Q: Why do blacks always have sex on their minds? A: Because of the pubic hair on their heads. Q: Did you hear about the new black French restaurant? A: It's called Chez What. Q: What did Lincoln say after his five day drunk? A: I freed whom. Q: What's long, black and smelly? A: The unemployment line. Q: Why don't blacks like blowjobs? A: They don't like any jobs. Q: What do you get when you cross a black prostitute with a Chinese woman? A: A broad that sucks shirts. Q: Why do blacks raise chickens? A: To teach their kids how to walk. Q: How do you make a black nervous? A: Take him to an auction. Q: What do you call a black prostitute with braces? A: A black and Decker pecker wrecker. Q: What do you call a black test tube baby? A: Janitor in a drum. Q: Why do blacks smell so bad? A: So the blind can hate them too. Q: How did they invent break dancing? A: Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car. Q: Why did God invent golf? A: So white people could dress up like blacks. Q: What do you call a black man in Thailand? A: A tycoon. Q: Why do blacks keep their fly's open? A: In case they have to count to eleven. Q: What do you call a black man in a tree? A: A branch manager. Q: What's the most confusing day in Harlem? A: Father's day. Q: Who are the two most famous black women in history? A: Aunt Jemima and Mutha !@#$er. Q: How do you stop a black baby from crying? A: Wet his lips and stick him to the wall. Q: Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots? A: They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending. Q: What do you call 4 blacks in a 57 chevy? A: Blood vessel. Q: Why do blacks wear white gloves? A: So they don't bite their fingers eating tootsie rolls. Q: What is black and has four legs and goes Hol De Doe, Hol De Doe? A: Two blacks running for the elevator. Q: Why did God invent the climax? A: So blacks would know when to stop !@#$ing. Q: Why did so many blacks get killed in the war? A: When the Colonel yelled get down, they all got up and danced. Q: What's the definition of worthless? A: A 7'2" black man with a small prick, that can't play basketball. Q: What do you call a black with a new bike? A: A thief. Q: What do you call a black with a new caddie? A: A better thief. Q: Why don't black kids jump on their beds? A: Because they'll stick to the velcro on the ceiling. Q: How do you get them down once they're stuck? A: Tell Mexican kids they're pinatas. Q: Did you hear about Klu Klux Kneivel? A: He tried to jump over 8 blacks with a steam roller. Q: How can you tell when a black as been on your computer? A: It is not there. Q: What do you call a black with no arms? A: Trustworthy. Q: Why do black women where high heels? A: So their knuckles don't drag. Q: What do you call a black guys condom? A: A duffle bag. Q: Why are black guys eyes red after sex? A: From the pepper spray. Q: What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10,000 black guys? A: Warden. Q: What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A: The quarterback. Q: Whats wrong with 5 blacks driving a Cadillac off of a cliff? A: The car holds 6. Q: How do you get a black man out of a tree? A: Cut the rope. Q: What do you call a black person on birth-control? A: Crime prevention.

I dunno, Steve. Some of those 10 year olds are pretty tough.

At least I have a copy of the Wayne Brady skit. I don't really watch the show on Comedy Central that much, so I only catch it when someone else has it taped or tivo'd. When I was up in Erie around the time of the first preseason game, my brother showed me the Samuel Jackson skit that he had tivo'd. I love that one!!

Yep. Finally, I'll be able to get the uncensored Wayne Brady and Samuel Jackson skits!! Yes!!! "How's it taste, muther****er?!!!"

It's exactly because of his speed and his elusiveness that makes him more prone for sacks. Why? Because he'll hang in the pocket and think that he can just scramble himself out of trouble if nothing develops downfield. Sometimes it works out for him and a receiver will get open or he'll find some room to scramble and get positive yards. Other times, he'll get boxed in and will be sacked.

He wasn't the most talented fighter, but he was pretty decent. But, with the heavyweight division in the shambles it has been in for some time, he could have actually won a world title. Too bad.